Reasons of the Heart
by Virgo Writer
Summary: The course of true love never did run smoothly, and no one knows it better than Misty. After having her heart broken by Ash, she ran away only to be reunited with him in the last place she expected. But this time he's ready to fight for her. AAMRN
1. Why do I love you?

**VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE. Please read if this is your first time visiting this fic. 1.1.2012**

As much as I loved this fic at the time, I am not at all deluded by the quality of this work. If I'm perfectly honest with myself, this story is Twilight for Pokemon. And I swear that's not a good thing.

The characters in this story are incredibly OOC. Misty is a strong female character who doesn't back down from a challenge (unless it involves bugs), and was probably a bit of a role model for me growing up, but in my teenage views of romance she turns into a bit of a wussie. She cries a lot for no apparent reason - usually over Ash. There is an actual scene where she shows fear of water - Misty Waterflower who grew up in a freakin' water gym is afraid of water! Can you get worse than that?

Ash isn't much better. Misty's constantly telling him to leave her alone, but he just keeps going. Maybe that's just his stubborn streak, but there's a point where you're just being a doormat.

And the OCs - for the love of god the OCs. We have villains that appear one chapter and disappear the next without any indication. Characters that resemble their television equivalents in name only.

The plot is ridiculous. I never explain why Ash is in University in the same way that Twilight never explained what sparkly vampires were doing in High School. As you can probably tell from this pointed rant, the thing I despise most about Twilight is the fact that somebody published her fanfic (and paid her ridiculous amounts of money to turn it into a movie) and nobody ever published mine.

Anyway, given how bad this is, I wanted to warn people about it A LOT before reading. I should take it down and rewrite it, but there is a part of me that is still proud of this fic - in fact it's pretty awesome for a fourteen year old. That aside, this story bears no actual resemblance to Pokemon or the characters portrayed. It has a lot wrong with it, but it also has it's sweet moments where the characters accidentally turn out right - so try to dwell on those and maybe one day I'll have the inclination to write this one properly.

* * *

And now for the story . . .

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon. I do not own any song lyrics posted in this story.

Reasons of the Heart – Why do I love you?

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"NOT"

"TOO!"

"Guys stop," Brock said abruptly. This was a normal everyday occurrence for the gang. Ash and Misty would fight like a couple of two year olds, you would hardly believe that they were both fourteen, and Brock and Pikachuu would do everything in the power to keep the disagreement under control. Usually they succeeded as long as Ash didn't say anything stupid. "Can't we settle this with a nice _quiet_discussion and a cup of tea?"

"He/She started it," Ash and Misty replied at the same time.

"Excuse me!" Misty gaped. "I started it?"

"Yeah," Ash replied cautiously.

"Well if I'm not mistaken -" she said calmly pausing for only a second"- YOU'RE THE MORON WHO KEEPS GETTING US LOST!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"We're not lost," Ash replied calmly. "If we were lost I wouldn't have the slightest indication of where we are."

"Then where are we brainiac," she asked smugly.

"We're lost in the Viridian forest."

Brock quickly grabbed onto Misty's arms trying to keep her from doing anything that could severely injure herself or others, namingly Ash. He motioned for Ash to move but Ash made not hint of moving form his spot. Misty quickly struggled out of Brocks grasp and stalked over to where Ash was standing.

"Misty isn't this a little rash?" Brock asked cowering away from her.

"Just be thankful I have my priorities straight," she muttered. Kill Ash now, Brock will get his later. "Ash if you weren't such a dimwit we could have been out of here hours ago. Gary's probably long gone," she added just to see Ash cringe.

Ash groaned inwardly at the sound of his rivals name and clenched his teeth. "If you're such the genius Misty, why don't you lead the way?"

"Because you're such a selfish stubborn little twerp and hog the map," she replied raising her voice.

"I'm the selfish one," Ash said nodding his head sarcastically. "You see, I'm pretty sure that I'm not the selfish stubborn little RUNT who has been following me around for the past four years because of some stupid bike." Bad move Ash, VERY bad move.

He saw Misty step back and watched her eyes cloud over but somehow he couldn't react, he was paralyzed. There were so many things he could have called her, idiot, bitch, whore, but no. He called her the one thing he knew would hurt her more than anything, the one really hurtful thing you could ever say to Misty. Runt.

But it wasn't just the word. It was also the fact that he had said it. The one person she cared for more than anything else in the world. Her best friend. She couldn't believe that the only person she had ever loved could hurt her that way and stand there doing nothing, like it didn't matter. Like she didn't matter.

"Fine Ash," she said quietly. "Just forget about the bike. I'll get a new one in Cerulean."

Then she did something that hurt him more than anything ever said in their childish banters. She bent down and she packed her things. He guessed it was only fair; he hurt her so it was payback.

"Good bye Brock, Pikachuu. I hope I see you again someday," she said.

"Togepri" ((Mommy I don't want to go, not without daddy)) the baby Pokemon cried.

"We're not wanted here anymore," she told her quietly her voice on the brink of tears. She bent down and grabbed Togepei in her arms.

"Wait, Misty I . . ." Ash started.

Misty turned and shook her head cutting him off as tears welled in her eyes. "I just thought you should know," she said pausing to keep herself from crumbling into tears in front of him of all people. "It was never about the bike." She quickly ran from the scene tears streaming from her eyes ads he ran Togepei clutched to her chest

_Suddenly she's leaving  
__Suddenly the promise of love is gone  
__Suddenly breathing seems so hard to do_

_Carefully you planned it  
__I got to know just a minute too late  
__Now I understand it  
__All the times we made love together  
__Baby you were thinking of him_

_Why do I love you?  
__Don't even want to  
__Why do I love you like I do?  
__Like I always do  
__You should have told me  
__Why did you have to be untrue?  
__Why do I love you like I do?_

_Can't go back, __Can't erase  
__Baby your smiling face  
__I can think of nothing else but you  
__Suddenly_

_(Why do I love you? Westlife)_

"What have I done?" Ash asked.

"I'll tell you what you've done," Brock scowled. "You just let the one you love run out of your life without even letting her know how you feel. The only one you'll ever love has gone and it's your own fault."

"She's right," Ash sighed. "I am the brainless moron she always said I was. How could I do this to her?"

"Love makes you do stupid things," Brock told him. "Some stupider than others. Where are you going?" Brock called as Ash began to run off in the same direction as Misty.

"I've got to find her," Ash told him grabbing his stuff and Pikachuu.

"Then I'm coming too," Brock told him.

~ to be continued ~

Oh, right - there's also a song in every chapter. Um . . . I can't really explain that except that I had this whole Pokemon: The Musical in my head. Most of them date this fic - boy bands popular in the early 00s mostly. Blue, Otown, Nsync, Backstreet Boys, A1. If you have never heard of any of these bands, you are probably too young to be reading this fic, seeing as I did give it a PG13 rating. For language and reference to alcohol.

Turn back while you still can . . .


	2. Same Old Brand New You

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon 

Reasons of the Heart – Same Old Brand New You

Five years passed.  Ash tried everything he could to get through to Misty but her sisters wouldn't even let him talk to her.  He sent her gifts, wrote letters, he didn't even know if they got to her.  He missed her so much and what he wanted more than anything was for her to know that.

Misty made new friends, found new interests and tried to get over her first true love.  She knew it was useless, she would always love Ash even if he didn't know, though it didn't help that he kept sending her gifts and letters that reminded her of him.  

To Misty's disappointment instead of the years apart shrinking her love, it only made it grow.  As they say 'absence made the heart grow fonder'.  She found this out her fist day at Davison University.

Misty was standing in a big group with her friends talking about all the cool stuff they were going to do in college.  There were her best friends Melody Kitt and Sabrina Speller, other friends Alyssa Haleighwell and Jessica Davis and Jessica's boyfriend Shane west.

Misty wanted to check out the dorms before the mad rush, so she excused her self from the group and accidentally bumped into another student as she stepped out.

"Sorry," she said quickly as he turned around.

"Misty Waterflower?" he asked looking at her quizzically.

"Do I know you?" she asked suspiciously hoping he wasn't some kind of really cute stalker.

"Don't you recognize me Myst?" he asked her like she was supposed to know.

She looked at him again studying him carefully.  Messy jet-black hair tossed over the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that made her heart race and turned her entire body to jelly.  A very cute knowing smile that made her breath catch in the back of her throat and her cheeks turn a light shade of crimson.  He was taller and had definitely matured over the years but only one person could do that to her in a matter of seconds.  He was the only person who ever called her Myst.

"Ash?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yeah.  It's been awhile hasn't it?" he said placing a hand behind his head.

"Sure has.  The best damn five years of my life," she said angrily as she remembered why it had been so long.

Ash tried to laugh it off but Misty just continued to glare at him.  "So what are you doing here?" he asked hoping that him and Misty could at least have a civilized conversation without hurting each other.

"Well I know it's a hard concept to grasp," she began.  "Especially for the like of you," she added "but I'll try and make it easier for you.  You see it's a thing called _higher education," she continued.  "Perhaps you've heard it mentioned before.  Anyway people come to a facility such as this usually called a college or university in the hope of furthering their education.  They use techniques such as learning and studying and one you definitely haven't tried before called actually having a brain.  At the end of, in my case, a four year period you receive a piece of paper called a __diploma stating your name and degree thus proving you have received this __higher education." She finished a slight smirk playing her lips and Togetic in her arms.  "Understand now?"_

"That was harsh," Sabrina whispered to Melody.  "I wonder what he's done to deserve that?"

"He must really like her or something," Melody whispered back.  "You know how frightening Misty can be when she's like this.  Most people would be long gone."

Most people would run away, but Ash was use to it, though he wasn't going to be able to take it much longer without retorting no matter how much he tried.

"Misty, you know what I meant," he told her.  "What are you doing at Davison in particular?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but it's kind of a no-brainer," she said, "So even you'll be able to get it.  This is the best college in the country; I'm surprised they even let you in the door.  Plus all my friends are here."

"Since when did Satan's minions come out during the day?" he asked.  "Let alone have need for an education?"

Misty sighed rolling her eyes.  "How on earth did I go so long without that witty Ash Ketchum humor?" she asked sarcastically.  "So how did you get in?  Davison has pretty high expectations.  They have a strong reputation for only accepting intelligent people.  Last I heard you needed a brain to get in. Guess they lowered their standards," she said looking down her nose at him as if he were the scum of the universe.

He hated Misty thinking little of him.  That was the main reason he fought with her so often, he didn't want her to think that he couldn't keep up with her and he didn't want to look like a loser in front of her.

"Contrary to popular belief misty, I'm at least as smart as you.  Though that's probably not saying much," he stated calmly.

Misty took a deep breath and pretended she didn't care what he thought of her anymore.  "I so believe Ash," she said nodding sarcastically.  "You know recent studies have proven that a small mind goes hand and hand with a small . . ." she told him.  "Mrs. Ketchum!" as she saw Delilah walk in the door, without thinking she thrust Togetic into his arms.  She began to walk away when she turned around and looked him in the eyes.  "But I guess you already knew that," she added.  She bent down and let Pikachuu jump onto her shoulder before walking away leaving Ash speechless.

All of Ash and Misty's friends who had been listening in burst out laughing as Misty walked away.  _'Seems things haven't changed,' Brock thought to himself.  Melody walked up to ash eager to find out more about him and figure out what he did to make Misty so angry._

"I don't think I've met anyone who's been able to keep up with Misty like that.  "Most people are Scared off before they even get the chance to retaliate," Melody told him.  "Don't worry she does have a good side."

"I know," he replied.  "But believe me I have had worse fights, I mean they were with Misty but that's beside the point."

"How do you know Misty?" she asked.

"Maybe I should have started by introducing myself," he said.  "I'm Ash Ketchum."

"That explains it," she replied thoughtfully.  "By the way, I'm Misty's best friend Melody.  It was nice to meet you.  I got to go."

"So what's the name of Misty's handsome admirer," Sabrina whispered.

"Let's just say I know exactly why Misty was so harsh," Melody told her "and it has something to do with the fact that she hasn't seen him in five years."

"You mean that he's . . ." Sabrina began.

"Exactly," Melody replied.

"Oh My Gosh," Sabrina replied.
    
    _You'll change, you'll never change_
    
    _You're never never gonna keep your promises_
    
    _You said you'd change_
    
    _But I'm afraid_
    
    _It's something I won't live to see_
    
    _It's seems so strange_
    
    _That sometimes fate_
    
    _Can appear to be so real_
    
    _And yet turn out to be a fantasy_
    
    _Same old line, one more time_
    
    _Say you're gonna be, there for me_
    
    _Say you'll change, change your ways_
    
    _Never gonna keep your promises_
    
    _(Same old game) _
    
    _You know it doesn't turn me on_
    
    _(Brand new day) _
    
    _You're singing that same old song_
    
    _(No more lies) _
    
    _If you don't wanna find me gone, gone, gone, gone, gone_
    
    _Another night, another day_
    
    _What can I say?_
    
    _You're still the same old brand new you_
    
    _You break your promises in two_
    
    _What can I do?_
    
    _When you're the same old brand new you_
    
    _You'll change, you'll never change_
    
    _You're never never gonna keep your promises_
    
    _Because of you, I guess we're through_
    
    _Is this the way it has to be?_
    
    _I've been a fool (I've been a fool)_
    
    _A fool for you (A fool for you)_
    
    _But I've got better things to do than let you walk all over me_
    
    _Same old line, one more time_
    
    _Say you're gonna be, there for me_
    
    _Say you'll change, change your ways_
    
    _Never gonna keep your promises_
    
    _(Same old game) _
    
    _You know it doesn't turn me on_
    
    _(Brand new day) _
    
    _You're singing that same old song_
    
    _(No more lies) _
    
    _If you don't wanna find me gone, gone, gone, gone, gone_
    
    _Another night, another day_
    
    _What can I say?_
    
    _You're still the same old brand new you_
    
    _You break your promises in two_
    
    _What can I do?_
    
    _When you're the same old brand new you_
    
    _I can still remember the time you were there_
    
    _When I needed to hold you, feel you_
    
    _Every time I ask you to find a new way_
    
    _You lie a new way_
    
    _Is it gone, gone, gone, gone, gone_
    
    _You'll change, you'll never change_
    
    _You're never never gonna keep your promises _
    
    _You'll change, you'll never change_
    
    _You're never never gonna keep your promises_
    
    _(Same old game) _
    
    _You know it doesn't turn me on_
    
    _(Brand new day) _
    
    _You're singing that same old song_
    
    _(No more lies) _
    
    _If you don't wanna find me gone, gone, gone, gone, gone_
    
    _Another night, another day_
    
    _What can I say?_
    
    _You're still the same old brand new you_
    
    _You break your promises in two_
    
    _What can I do?_
    
    _When you're still the same old brand new you_
    
    _Another night, another day_
    
    _What I can say_
    
    _You're still the same old brand new you_
    
    _(A1 'Same Old Brand New You')_

Ash looked over to where Misty had gone.  _'I didn't think it was possible,' he thought to himself.  __'But it must be because I know that she's become even more beautiful.'  _

The five years apart had changed Misty a lot.  The sun had affected her hair and it was now more of a copper than an orange.  She wore it up in a high ponytail (not a side one) with a few strands hanging down and framing her heart shaped face.  She wore a blue sleeveless top and hip-hugger jeans that accented the figure she had developed.  She was gorgeous, but then again Ash could have told you that 8 years ago at the maiden's peak festival.

"I'm so sorry Misty," he whispered.

"You were talking to Ash," Delilah smiled.  "That's a good sign."

Misty shook her head.  "More like yelling insults at him," she replied.

Delilah shook her head sadly.

"I couldn't help it," Misty continued.  "I mean how am I supposed to react?  I mean he really hurt me back then, am I supposed to be Miss. Mary Sunshine all of a sudden just because?  What did he expect from me?  Did he think I was going to run into his arms no questions asked and live happily ever after?"

"He's never been one to think things through," Delilah sighed.  "It may take forever before you can even consider that as an option, but you have to at least give him a chance to make it up to you.  Believe me, that is what he wants to do more than anything.  I should know after all I am his mother."

"It's just so hard to even look at him," Misty said quietly tears forming in her eyes.  She quickly wiped them away.

Misty had always tried to make people believe she was strong.  She put up walls between herself and the world that nothing could penetrate.  She never cried in front of people and never let them see her when her walls were at their weakest and you could see the real Misty shining through.  

Only one person had been able to penetrate the walls between them.  Ash.  It taught her to be more careful.  Now it was barricaded and carefully guarded.  Sometimes you could catch glimpses of the Misty beyond the amour but no one had seen the real Misty since him and she doubted that anyone would ever see her again.

"We are so sorry Misty," Sabrina and Melody said as they came over to see how Misty was.  "We didn't even realize it was him," Melody added.

"It's OK Mel," Misty replied.  "I didn't expect you to.  "Anyway, what could you have done?  No ones ever been able to stop us from fighting before," Misty shrugged.   "Not even Brock," she added just to see Sabrina blush.  She had known for a while that Sabrina had a thing for Brock.  One of their main means of entertainment was to see how red she got.

"Not even Brock?" Melody asked.  She burst out laughing as she saw Sabrina blush a few shades redder.

Ash walked over to them Togetic in his arms.  "I'm s . . ." he started.

Misty quickly cut him off grabbing Togetic and walking away followed by Melody and Sabrina.

"I think that went well," he muttered sarcastically.

~ to be continued ~

So what did you think of chapter two of this story.  I hope I kept my promise on this one.  This is an AAMR so don't worry and Melody wasn't flirting with him if I accidentally made it seem that way.  Please review.


	3. Deeper Shade of Blue

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon, if I did Ash and Misty would have been together years ago.

Reasons of the Heart – Deeper Shade of Blue

Misty sat staring out the door hardly paying attention to anything, especially not the art professor who stood at the front of the room calling out their names to find who was present and who wasn't.  She had her elbow on the desk as her head rested on her hand, staring at the door as if she was expecting someone to come through it any moment.

"Who are you looking for?" her best friend Melody Kitt.

Misty shrugged in response.  She wasn't really looking for anyone she just kind of felt herself draw to the door.  Boy was she surprised when someone actually walked through it.  Misty immediately looked away as his chocolate brown eyes caught hers and got her heart beat racing.

"Why me?" she sighed as she rested her head on the desk.  It was their very first class as college students and Misty had vowed not to let Ash get to her no matter what happened.  She just hadn't really expected to find him in her art class.

"It's nice of you to join us Mr. . .  " the teacher began quiet annoyed that Ash had disrupted her class with his tardiness.

"Ketchum," Ash finished for her.

"Well why don't you go take the seat next to Miss. Waterflower and next time you can make it a priority not to be late for this class," the teacher suggested.

Misty sat up in her desk at the sound of her name.  She glared at him as he made his way to the seat next to her.  He gave her a quick 'not-my-fault' smile before settling into his seat.

"And so as not to have any disputes over seating these shall be your seats for the rest of the year," the teacher told her class.  "Anyone have a problem with where they're seated?"

Misty stopped herself from raising her hand.  She and Melody had got to class early to get these seats.  They had made sure they got the perfect seats where they weren't so close that the teacher could watch their every move and not so far that they had trouble paying attention to the lesson.  She was not going to give up the seat she had put so much effort into getting just because Ash Ketchum decided to sit next to her.

Melody smiled at how maturely Misty was taking the fact that she had to sit next to Ash.  She wasn't even putting her hand up so she could move.  Only problem was that it looked like Misty was picturing the pencil in her hands as his neck and it was only seconds away from being snapped into, just like his neck would be if she got the chance.

"Let's start with a simple sketching exercise," the teacher said after the seating arrangements had been organized.  "I want you to draw the first thing which comes to your mind.  Anything a book, a person whatever you want."

Misty got straight to work on her drawing hoping it would help keep her mind off him.  She hoped that he would but sadly things don't always go to plan.

She turned around as she felt a small tap on her shoulder.  She was glad to find that it was Parker and not Ash.  She had known Parker for about two years now.  Violet had married Parkers brother Taylor so they became friends in a way after that.  Parker passed her a note with her name on it.

She opened the note expecting it to be details on the party their siblings were throwing next week.  It wasn't.

Misty –

          I really miss you.  Can we talk sometime?  There's something important I've got to tell you.

- Ash

Misty scribbled something on the note then told Parker to hand it back to Ash.  She pulled her desk a little closer to Melody's so she could put some distant between herself and Ash before she got back to her work.

Ash opened the note that had been handed back to him expecting the worst, which is exactly what he got.

_'Not if you were the last person on earth' _was written in Misty's dainty handwriting.  She hadn't even bothered signing it.  Ash could easily understand why.  He wouldn't want to talk to him either.  He wrote another note anyway and chucked it gently onto her desk.

Misty opened the note anyway even though she knew it was from him.  She just couldn't help it.  It was like one of those horror movies, you knew something gross was going to happen but you couldn't tear yourself from the screen anyway.

Please Myst.  I'm Sorry

- Ash

Misty glared at the note as if it were Ash himself looking up at her through each word.  She wrote something on the note then screwed it up and chucked it at Ash's head making sure it got him good and hard.

Ash rubbed his head where Misty's note had struck him then opened the ball of paper to see what she had written.

**GO TO HELL!**

He could see that Misty wasn't really in a forgiving mode at the moment and decided that it was best to just leave it at that and try again later.  He took a quick glance in her direction before getting started on his work.

"Why won't he just leave me alone?" Misty moaned as she and Melody quickly left the class before Ash had the chance to head her off at the door.  "I mean when will he get it through that thick skull of his that I hate his guts?"

"Maybe that's because you don't?" Melody suggested.

"Forget I even asked," Misty sighed.

"So how are things going with Misty?" Brock asked as he met Ash on their way to the next class.

"Not well," Ash said recalling the events of his last efforts to get Misty to talk to him.

"I'm guessing that Misty still hates you," Brock said noting the small bruise forming where her note had hit.

"At least it wasn't as embarrassing as last time," Ash sighed as they made their way to their next class.

Misty lay on her bed writing in her diary.  Her roommate, Melody, was out at the campus café getting her lunch so Misty had the room to herself.

_Dear Diary,_

_When will he ever give up?  He's like one of those stupid Energizer bunnies that just keep coming back for more._

_Doesn't he realize that he's only making matters worse?  The more I see him, the more it hurts.  The more it hurts the angrier I get.  _

_I don't want to feel this way.  I don't want to have to second-guess every move I make just in case he's there too.  I hate the way he makes me cry when nobody else is looking.  I hate all my memories, the ones when were fighting, but mostly the ones where I was happy.  I hate knowing that the happiest times in my life will always be those I spent with him._

_Most of all I hate loving him.  I know I'll always love him, and that no one else will ever come close.  I want to be able to move on with my life.  I want to forget.  _

_And there's that one part that wants to keep holding on and to forgive him.  That's the part that loves him more and more as each day passes.  That's the part that makes me cry.  The part that won't let me forget._

Misty quickly wiped away the tears, which had begun to well in her eyes before they had a chance to fall.  "Damn you, Ash," she sighed.  She turned on the radio to her favorite station and tried to relax.  She hummed along to the song as it played even though it only brought back more and more memories.

Into each life some rain must fall 

_I didn't know I would catch it all_

_The clear skies have gone_

_And you with them too_

_It's not the same now without you_

_I used to say you're so beautiful_

_But it didn't change a thing at all_

_There's nowhere to run_

_Got nowhere to hide_

_I can't forget you and I've tried, but_

_I'm a deeper shade of blue_

_And there's nothing I can do_

_You're so far, far away_

_Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me_

_And I just can't be free_

_You're so far, far away_

_You're so far away_

_Into each life some sun must shine_

_Well someone else must be getting mine_

_The days are so empty_

_Nights are so long_

_Awaking to find again that you're gone_

_I used to say you were wonderful_

_Now I just wonder where you are_

_It's easy to say memories fade_

_But I'm still missing you nothings changed and_

_I'm a deeper shade of blue_

_And there's nothing I can do_

_You're so far, far away_

_Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me_

_And I just can't be free_

_You're so far, far away_

_You're so far away_

_Summer is over_

_And all we are is apart_

_The nights are so cold now_

_Without you in my heart_

_I'm a deeper shade of blue_

_And there's nothing I can do_

_You're so far, far away_

_Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me_

_And I just can't be free_

_You're so far, far away_

_I'm a deeper shade of blue_

_And there's nothing I can do_

_You're so far, far away_

_Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me_

_And I just can't be free_

_You're so far, far away_

_You're so far away_

_('Deeper Shade of Blue' by Steps)_

Ash went through his draws looking at all the things he had brought with him to remind him of Misty.  His bedside table was littered with several pictures of her.  The top draw was full of letters he was always too scared to send.  He opened one trying to remember why he never sent them.

_Dear Misty,_

_I think about you constantly.  I try to remember why I ever let you go.  I need you in my life Misty.  You're the reason I battle so hard, everything I do, I do for you and no one else._

_But I know that doesn't matter to you any more.  I know that you despise me and I understand why.  I could win every battle, defeat every master and I still wouldn't matter to you, but I do it anyway._

_I do it because I love you._

_I wish I could take back every word I ever said to you that hurt you in any way.  I wish I could live my life again and I know I would do it differently.  I never would have hurt you._

_I'm sorry Misty, and I love you._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Ash_

Ash sighed and slipped the letter back into his draw.  Maybe one day he's tell her.  And maybe she would feel the same.

"And maybe pigs will fly," Ash scorned at himself.

~ to be continued ~

I hope this chapter wasn't too terrible.  Please review no matter what you think.


	4. I Thought She Knew

To answer a few questions, Misty is open with Ash's mom because that she doesn't have a mother of her own and she always felt that Delilah was like a second mother to her, and Misty was like the daughter she never had.  The reason Ash is in college is because I wouldn't have a story if he wasn't and he wanted to do something else with his life while he wasn't training seeing as he has already received the title of Worlds Greatest Pokemon master so he doesn't have to go around collecting badges because he's instantly in the competition.  And about the names: Shane West is the really cute guy from the TV show Now and Then and he also features in Mandy Moore's new video 'Cry', the only reason he's there is because of Jessica Davis who is kind of a self insertion but not really because I don't think she's anything like me and she isn't main or anything but I think Shane West is hot so he's Jessica's boyfriend who was going to be Ashley Parker Angel but thanks to Ash I couldn't use that name 'Damn you Ash'.  If there are any questions you need answered put them in your reviews and I'll try to answer them when I put up the next chapter. Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon 

Reasons of the Heart – I Thought She Knew

"C'mon Ash," his friend and roommate Parker Angel pleaded.  "We haven't been to a good party in ages."

"I'm not really in the mood," Ash sighed.

"There's going to be heaps of girls there," Parker offered.

"You go, I'll be alright," Ash told him.

"What's her name?" Parker asked.

"What makes you think that there's a girl?"

"Maybe I'm psychic," Parker guessed, "But then, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you've been moping around school for how long and that silver frame on your nightstand."

"OK so it is a girl," Ash admitted.  "But its not just any girl," Ash told him.  "She was my best friend and I loved her."

"I have an idea," Parker said after thinking about it for a minute or two.  "Why don't I set you up with a friend of mine?  It'll help get her out of your head even if it's just for a bit of fun."

"Sure," Ash shrugged.  "Let's hope you're right."

Parker was quite happy with his accomplishments so far.  It had been easy enough to get Ash to agree, she shouldn't be much harder.  He knew that she and Ash were the most stubborn people he had ever met, he was actually kind of afraid of the results of having them in the same room together.  She could keep an argument going for hours even if she forgot what it was about.  All she needed to know was that she was right, even if it wasn't the case though usually it was.  Ash was just as bad.  

Parker knocked on the door.  It opened almost straight away.  He smiled at the girl before him; her long golden brown hair cascaded over the shoulders of her long sleeved crop top and reaching the edge of her gray pants.  A light sweat covered her face giving it a heavenly shine.

"Hey Parker," she smiled.  "You want to come in?"  He nodded trying hard not to stare.  "Sorry about the mess."

Parker tried not to laugh at the remark about the immaculate room she had called a mess.  He would hate to find out what she would call the sorry excuse for an apartment himself and Ash fondly referred to as a bachelor pad.

"So, what's up?" Melody asked as she handed him a can of soda.

"I needed to ask Misty if I could set her up with one of my friends," Parker said sipping the drink.

"Who?" Melody asked.

"My roommate, Ash," Parker said.

"Really?  That's Great!" she cried ecstatically.  Then just as suddenly as before, she regained her composure and straightened her shirt.  "I mean . . . Misty really needs something like that to . . . uh . . . get her out of the . . . um . . . slump she's in."

"Who's in a slump?" Misty asked.  Luckily she had only heard the last words of the conversation as she came in to grab a drink.

"Certainly not you," Melody replied with what appeared to be genuine innocence.

"Very funny," Misty sighed.  "Hey Parker," she added as she noticed him.  "How long have you been here?"

"Not long," he shrugged.

"I'm sure Melody entertained you," Misty said coyly causing both Parker and Melody to blush.

"Actually I came here to ask you if I could set you up with one of my friends," Parker told her.

"Who?" Misty asked.

"It's a blind date," Melody said quickly before Parker could answer and erase any chance of a happy ending for her best friend and Ash.  "You're not supposed to know who it is."

"Fine.  I'll go," she said.

"Really?" Melody asked disbelievingly.

"I wasn't finished," Misty stated.  "I'll go, on one condition."

"I must be clinically insane," Parker muttered.  "What's the condition?" he asked trying hard not to look as nervous as he felt.  People like Misty could small fear and fed on it like _normal_ people and ice cream.

"I get to set you up," Misty replied.

Parker let out a sigh of relief as he heard Misty's condition.  "Doesn't sound too bad," Parker smiled.  "We'll meet you and your friend at Antonio's on Saturday at seven."

"OK, see you then," Misty smiled.

Parker waved goodbye and left.  Now all that was left to do was get the reservation.

"So what are you wearing on Saturday?" Misty asked.

"You are the best friend I've ever had," Melody cried excitedly.

"You do realize that the real reason I insisted on setting Parker up was for my own selfish reasons?" Misty asked.  "This way when he's as much of a creep as I expect, I can completely ignore him without having to talk to myself the whole night to get an intelligent conversation."

"I don't think you'll have any trouble with conversation," Melody said cryptically.

"Do you know who he is?' Misty asked her voice and face filled with suspicion.

"No," Melody lied quickly trying to think of some kind of excuse to stop Misty from asking questions.  "It's just that Parker is such a good judge of character so I just figured that whoever he picks will be far from a creep.  I don't think you'll have any problems with an intelligent conversation."  _'It's the civil ones I'm worried about,'_ she added silently.

"Should I take Togetic?" Misty asked.  Melody sighed happily as she realized that Misty had been satisfied with her explanation.

Melody shrugged her shoulders and decided to get back to her workout, after all she did have a date with Parker Angel on Saturday.

Ash and Parker sat at the table for four at Antonio's.  It was ten to seven Saturday night.  They guys talked while they patiently waited for their dates to arrive both unaware of who their dates were.

"So what's your idea of the perfect girl?" Parker asked.  "So we can see how good I am at matchmaking, see how she compares."

Ash closed his eyes for a few seconds picturing Misty as he tried to put everything he loved about her into words.  "She's more beautiful than the angels, she has a smile that puts even the brightest stars to shame and eyes that sparkle like the sea on a clear day.

"She's not afraid to speak her mind," Ash continued.  "She's got this sarcastic sense of humor that always makes me laugh.  She's always at my side cheering me on no matter what I do.  She puts up a strong front but only those close to her know that in truth she's actually sweet and fragile like a delicate rose.  She's caring and smart, and humble.  She's up for everything, whether it's saving the world or a simple race.  And she won't let you get away with anything."

Parker was surprised at how much Ash's description of the perfect girl sounded like Misty.  "I think I've found your perfect girl," Parker smiled proudly.

"Don't tell me there's two of her?" Ash said with mock shock.  "One of her is bad enough," he joked.  "In all seriousness, my perfect girl would never agree to this," Ash sighed as images of Misty flew through his head.

"I thought this evening was supposed to get your mind off her," Parker sighed.

"Yeah, I know," Ash sighed.  "Just forget I said anything.  So who did you choose?" Ash asked.

"Misty Waterflower."

"Misty?" Ash asked.

"Yeah," Parker said.  "Do you know her?"

"You could say that," Ash shrugged.  "You're not joking are you?"  Parker shook his head not quiet sure why Ash suddenly seemed to be a lot more nervous.  "Then you really did find my perfect," Ash said below a whisper.

Pikachuu jumped off the chair he had been resting on and ran towards the entry.  Ash followed the yellow Pokemon with his eyes watching it jump into Misty's arms.

"Pikachuu," Misty cried out in surprise.  "What are you doing here?"

"Pikachuu"((We're your date))

Misty didn't quiet understand but followed Pikachuu to their table.  Ash stood up and pulled out her chair

"Hmmph," Misty said as she sat down turning away from Ash and glaring at Melody and Parker who were both sitting on the opposite side of the table.

Misty sat silently playing with Togetic unsure whom she should yell at.  She could yell at Parker for setting them up in the first place, though she was pretty sure he didn't know anything about their history.  She could yell at Melody for not telling her it was Ash and setting up that stupid bet, but then it was kind of her own fault for being so competitive.  She could of course yell at Ash.  He didn't need a reason, she could just yell at him for being there, but then she had promised Delilah she would give Ash a chance.

She had to do everything in her power to keep from running out the restaurant.  She sat still trying to block him out.  She promised she wouldn't let him get to her, and this was one promise she was going to keep. 

"How are you Myst?" Ash asked her.

Misty blinked away the tears that threatened to appear.  _'Damn you Ash,'_ she thought as she forced a small smile onto her face.

"I'm fine," she replied her voice void of any emotion

Parker looked between Ash and Misty seeing that there was something deep between them.  "Do you guys already know each other?" Parker asked.

"_He_ stole my bike," Misty said simply leaving it at that.

"Misty used to follow me around," Ash told him.  

"Why'd you stop?" Parker asked her.

"Why don't we dance?" Melody suggested.

Parker saw the single tear roll down Misty's cheek, so did Ash.  Misty quickly wiped the tears away as her eyes locked with Ash.  "I . . . uh," she started not sure what to say.  She quickly excused herself cutting off Ash's attempt to console her.

Misty looked at herself in the empty bathroom's mirror.  Her face was tear streaked and her eyes red from crying.  She knew why she was crying; he was the only reason she ever cried.  It only made her cry harder to think of him.

"Stop crying," she told herself between sobs.  "It's been five years.  You can't let him do this to you anymore.  You've got to get over him."

More tears filled her eyes.  She couldn't understand how he could make her feel like she was the most extraordinary and important person in the entire universe yet so insignificant at the same time.  She always felt like he was the one person she could depend on, she never expected him to hurt her the way he did.

"Bad move Mr. Matchmaker," Melody whispered to Parker.

"You know don't you?" Parker asked her.

Melody nodded.  "They were best friends," she sighed.  "Ash hurt her really badly before she came back to Cerulean, that's why she came back.  She still loves and cares for him, but she can't forgive him.  He knows her better than anyone and he knows what he said would hurt her, but they were both just too proud."

"No wonder his perfect girl seemed to be a perfect description of Misty," Parker said.

"I'm going to go check on Misty now," she told him.  "So you can talk to Ash about it if you want."

Parker nodded and went back to the table while Melody headed to the bathroom.

"Misty?" Melody asked as she entered the toilet.

"Over here," Misty called quietly from the end stall as she sat on the closed toilet lid.

"You feeling better?" Melody asked sympathetically.  "Are you ready to face the world?"

"It's not the world I'm worried about," Misty sighed.

"You can do this Misty," Melody said.  "All you need is a little faith in yourself."

"What I need is a miracle," Misty sighed.

"I understand if you want to pretend you don't know me," Ash stated not looking up from the interesting spot in the middle of the table.

"Why?" Parker asked.  "I understand that you only fought with her because you love her and just wanted to prove that you can keep up with her."

Ash looked up and sighed.  "All I want to do is make it up to her, even if it takes a lifetime," Ash sighed.  "I want her to know how sorry I am, and that I love her."

"You should be telling her, not me," Parker told his friend.

"Believe me, I've tried," Ash said, "I just don't have the courage to admit it to her.  When I was younger I didn't tell her because I was afraid it would ruin our friendship.  I already ruined out friendship, but I still can't tell her.  I . . ." Ash stopped as he saw Misty and Melody walk back to the table.  Ash looked down at the floor not wanting to upset Misty anymore by looking at her.

Misty sat down silently blinking away tears that threatened to fall just by seeing him next to her.  She and Melody had swapped seats so Misty sat next to Parker and Melody next to Ash.

"So how do you like Davison?" Parker asked trying to make light conversation.

"It's ok," Misty shrugged.

"Do any of you have Professor Hoyle?" Ash asked.

"Oh my gosh," Melody gasped think of the teacher, "She looks like Mimi off Drew Carrey."

Even Misty let out a light giggle from that comment.  _'Just like old times,' _Misty thought to herself.  _'Too bad its not.'_  She looked across the table at Ash shoveling food into his mouth.  She smiled slightly and stifled a giggle.

"What?" Ash asked his fork suspended above his food.

"I just thought you would have grown out of that," she shrugged.

"What's wrong with the way I eat," Ash asked pretending to be offended.

"Nothing really," Misty said.  "It's just that I _know_ your mother taught you better manners than that."

Ash blinked and went back to his food slowing down the intake slightly.

Misty sighed and went back to her own food.  _'I miss this' _she thought._  'After all that's happened he's still probably the best friend I'll ever had.'_

"Hey Myst . . . ty," he said quickly adding the 'ty' to the end so as not to offend her.  "Are you ok?" he asked genuinely concerned for her well being.

Misty looked up at him and nodded.  "I'm fine, just tired," she lied.

The meal went on without any more troubles.  They made jokes and talked just like the old friends that they were.  It was almost like it was all those years ago, just two best friends spending the evening together catching up on old times.

" . . . so the Presidents like 'This looks like a woman so we can see that this race was family oriented and held women in high esteem.  You can tell they were intelligent because the next symbol resembles a donkey so they were smart enough to have animals help them.  The next is a shovel so it means they had tools.  futher proof of their intellignce is the fish so if they had famine they would go to the sea for food.  The last is the star of David which shows they were Hebrew.'  The rest of them nod in approvement so the presidents quite pleased with himself till the guy in the back yells 'Idiot, first of all everyone knows that the Hebrews wrote right to left not left to right.  Look again . . . now it says Holy mackeral, Dig the Ass on that Woman!'"  Everyone laughed happily.

"Do you want to dance?" Parker asked Melody as they heard the intro to a slow song.

Melody nodded and joined Parker on the dance floor leaving Ash and Misty alone together.

"I love this song," Misty sighed as she recognized the intro.

"May I have this dance?" Ash stuttered holding out his hand to Misty.

Misty blushed and nodded as she stood up and took his hand.  Ash led her to the dance floor and held her loosely as they danced.

Ohh … Ohh  . . . Ohh 

_She wan my once in a lifetime_

_Happy ending come true_

_Ohhhhh I, guess I should have told her_

_I thought she knew_

_She said I took her for granted_

_That's the last thing I would do_

_Oh I'll never understand it_

_I thought she knew_

_I thought she knew_

_My world revolves around her_

_My lover light burned_

_For her alone_

_But she couldn't see the flame_

_Only myself to blame_

_I should have known_

_I should have known_

_A heart full of words left unspoken_

_Now that we're through_

_I'd sell my soul to have this silence broken_

_Oh I thought she knew (I thought she knew)_

_I thought she knew_

_My world revolves around her_

_My lover light burned_

_For her alone_

_But she couldn't see the flame_

_Only myself to blame_

_I should have known_

_I should have known_

_She was my once in a lifetime_

_Happy ending come true_

_Woahhhh I guess I should have told her_

_But I thought she knew (I thought she knew)_

_I thought she knew (I thought she knew)_

_Ohhhhh I thought that she knew_

_('I thought she knew' N sync)_

Ash looked into her eyes and searched them for anything that would give him the courage to speak.  The sparkle of hope in her eyes was all he needed.  "Misty," he said softly.  "I would do anything for you if it would mean that you would forgive me."  Misty's body tensed as she was frozen to the spot.  Her thoughts were all incomprehensible as her mind debated whether to forgive and forget or to runaway as far as possible as long as it meant she would never have to face him again.  "What?" she asked as she had finally regained herself enough to speak.  "Misty, I'm sorry," Ash began.  "Tonight has been just like old times, it reminded me of all the things I've missed out on because of my stupidity.  I miss everything we had," Ash told her.  "But most of all I miss you." 

Misty turned and stared down at the ground, but not before ash saw the tears forming in her eyes.  He placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her into a loose hug in an effort to console her.  

Misty shrugged out of his embrace.  She squeezed the tears out of her eyes and hardened her jaw before turning to glare at Ash.  "Why did you go and ruin a perfect evening?" Misty asked her voice failing to cover the emotion.

"Misty," Ash pleaded.  "Just forget everything I said.  Just . . ." he began but stopped as Misty cut him off with a simple gesture.

"Good night Ash," she said.  She walked away leaving Ash stranded on the dance floor.  She left, not bothering with explaining, running away from the scene before anyone noticed the fresh tears rolling down her face.

Ash sighed as he watched her go.  With three words she had pierced his heart like a knife cutting through him.  But it's not like that was a new thing, Misty had always been good with words.

"I better go too," Melody told Parker as she ran to follow her friend.  Melody caught up to her best friend and encircled her in a hug allowing Misty to cry on her shoulder.

_'That use to be me,'_ Ash thought as he watched the two girls leave.  _'Now she crumbles to tears when I say her name like a withering rose, and shrugs out of my embrace.'_

"Don't worry," Parker said as he clamped a hand on Ash's shoulder.  "The tricks never to give up."

"How can I expect her to forgive me when I don't even forgive myself?" Ash asked.

~ to be continued ~

I hope you liked this chapter.  I know it my not seem like it yet but it will end up as an AAMR it'd just be a lot easier if Ash would learn how to keep his goddamn foot out of his mouth.  Please review no matter what you think.


	5. Love Should be a Crime

This chapter does a lot of explaining about why Misty was so upset when Ash called her runt. Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon 

Reasons of the Heart – Love Should be a Crime

Misty buried her face in her pillow trying to stop the tears.  For the first time in her life she didn't care if anyone saw her cry.  She thought back on her life trying to remember why she cared so much in the first place.

She had been too young when her mother died to even realize what was happening.  She had thought that heaven was just somewhere mommies went for vacations and that if she was really good then her mommy would come back.  Actually, now that she thought about it that was what her sister's had told her.

She hadn't cried at her fathers, she was too afraid of what might happen if she did.  She had been eight years old when her father died, luckily her sisters were sixteen, which meant that they could be her legal guardians and she wouldn't have to go live with Rebecca.

Rebecca was the reason Misty didn't cry.  Rebecca was the reason Misty hated being called a runt.  That was Rebecca's pet name for her.  "Misty you're such a runt, why can't you be beautiful like you're sisters."  Rebecca had always been so mean to Misty.  

Misty hated everything about Rebecca.  She would act so sweet when everyone was looking it made Misty want to barf, but when the fancy parties were over and the guests were gone she would slap Misty in the face and tell her that it was her fault that the party didn't go perfect.  Misty would run to her room before anyone saw her cry, she knew Rebecca would only laugh at her and call her names for crying.  She would hide under her sheets as she cried herself to sleep wishing her mother hadn't died, wishing that she could be up in heaven held in her mothers loving arms.

Rebecca had caught her praying once.  She just laughed.  "Selfish stubborn little runts like you don't go to heaven," Rebecca had scorned. "They go to hell where they are punished for all the naughty things they do like ruining parties and crying for no reason."  Misty cried harder than she had ever before that night, but not nearly as hard as she was crying now.

Rebecca had only stayed with her father for his money, but most of all Rebecca wanted the gym.  Rebecca slapped her in the face when she found out that Misty had inherited it instead.  Misty almost cried out for joy when she heard that she would be able to choose between living with her sisters or with Rebecca.  She was so much happier knowing that she would never have to see Rebecca again.

Misty looked out the window.  The sun was out, the sky blue and the birds singing.  It was the complete opposite of what she was feeling. 

There was a gentle tap on the door just before Melody and Sabrina came in carrying bags full of chocolates, lollies, chick flicks and ice cream.  "Are you ok?" Melody asked.

Misty shrugged.  "I'm sorry you guys had to miss your classes I just couldn't bear to see him," Misty sobbed as the tears rolled down her face.

"It's ok," Sabrina said.  "I mean I'd choose eating ice-cream and chocolates while watching girly movies over a class with Professor Clarke any day."

"I think most people would," Melody said.  "So which movie should we start with, 'Never Been Kissed' or 'Ten Things I Hate About you'?"

_Words like love and happiness_

_Never seem to stand up baby_

_When you put them to the test, yeah_

_You say that you're a poet_

_That your loves a work of art_

_But you can't play love by numbers baby_

_You got to play it all by heart_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby_

_It happens all the time_

_How you play me, play me, play me_

_Playing with my mind_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby_

_You're making me go crazy_

_And if you call that love_

_Then love should be a crime_

_Honesty_

_Bites the dust_

_Every time I hear you saying_

_Love is never lust yeah_

_Did you read it in a book?_

_Did you see it in some magazine?_

_Do you think that I'm some new age fool_

_Do you think I'm so naïve?_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby_

_It happens all the time_

_How you play me, play me, play me_

_Playing with my mind_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby_

_You're making me go crazy_

_And if you call that love_

_Then love should be a crime_

_You and me_

_Suddenly_

_We got nothing to say_

_But the words get in the way_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby_

_It happens all the time_

_How you play me, play me, play me_

_Playing with my mind_

_Baby, baby, baby, baby_

_You're making me go crazy_

_And if you call that love_

_Then all it was_

_Was a pocket full of nothing_

_But a suicidal gun_

_If you call that love_

_Then love should be a _

_Crime_

_('Love should be a Crime' O-town)_

"Is it clear?"

Melody scanned the hall quickly, before she answered.  "Yes," she sighed.

Misty appeared from her hiding place tugging self-consciously at the hood of her light designer sweatshirt.  She put on her dark glasses and straightened her long leather jacket looking like something out of the Matrix (A/N: I hate the movie but I have to admit that's kind of how I pictured it but classier).  She was wearing a dark violet hooded sweatshirt underneath her red leather jacket and with her black flared jeans.  Just because she was sneaking around doesn't mean she can't look good.

It had been about four months now and this was now an everyday occurrence.

"Aren't you hot at all?" Melody asked.  "I mean it may be the beginning of autumn, but it's also the end of summer."  Compared with Melody's lilac singlet top and baby blue petal pushers, Misty looked like a Goth.  Especially with the black wig she wore to disguise her trademark red hair.

"Not really," Misty lied.

"Isn't there an easier way?" Melody sighed.  She was starting to get really bored with sneaking around and checking every corridor.  At first it was kind of fun, she felt like a spy on a secret mission, but after awhile it just got really dull doing it every day.

"Well I could dye my hair, but I'm afraid what that stuff might do to my hair, though my sisters all swear by it," Misty said.

"No," melody said casually, "I was thinking more along the lines of accepting his apology so you can kiss and makeup already," Melody suggested.

"I want to Melody," Misty sighed looking down at the ground, "I really do.  I'm just not ready to forgive and forget.  I just wish he'd understand that I need time."

"Then maybe it's not me you should be telling this to," Melody said.

"Hey Melody, wait up!"

Misty and Melody stopped walking and turned around to see Ash running towards them.

"Hey Ash," Melody replied nonchalantly.

Misty pulled her hood lower as Ash looked at her suspiciously trying to figure out why he felt like he knew her.  He quickly shrugged off the feeling and turned back to Melody.  "Is Misty ok?" Ash asked fretting. 

"What do you mean?" Melody asked innocently.

"I mean I haven't seen her around for almost four months and I'm really worried," Ash replied.

Misty felt touched by the fact that he was worried about her.  She blushed slightly then scolded herself for even thinking like that.  _'Damn you Ash,'_ she thought.

"You've probably just been looking in the wrong places," Melody shrugged.

"You mean all over campus is the wrong place," he asked sarcastically looking at her questioningly.

"Well . . ." she started

"Look, I just want to talk to her," Ash said his eyes filled with hope.  "Do you know where she is?"

'No' Misty mouthed to Melody shaking her head to get the message across.

"No," Melody sighed regretfully.

Ash sighed and pulled a small box from his pocket.  "Next time you see her, can you give her this?" Ash asked sadly as he handed her the box.  Melody nodded.  "Tell her I'm sorry," Ash continued.  "And tell her I'm leaving Davison so she won't have to worry about seeing me around campus anymore."  With that he said good-bye and began to walk away.

_'If you love someone enough all that matters is their happiness, even if it isn't with you,'_ was the only sane thought in Misty's head as she watched Ash leave looking miserable and dejected.  She sighed.  She hated how confused Ash made her feel when ever she saw him.  One minute she would feel like she was walking on air, next minute she'd be drowning in her own tears.  Right now her heart was breaking in two seeing Ash so depressed and knowing it was her doing.

_'Damn you Ash,'_ she thought as a single tear rolled down her cheek and ran off her chin before falling to the ground.  _'How am I supposed to hate you when every little thing you do makes me fall more and more in love with you.'_

"Wait Ash," she called.

~ to be continued ~

This chapter took me ages to write so I hope that you all like and if you don't, sorry but it was the best I could especially seeing as schools back and I have less time to spend writing.  Please review anyway especially if you think that it was a load of shit, it's good for my ego.


	6. More Than That

I'm sorry for those of you who hate the songs but this is like 'Pokemon the musical' so bear with me.  Also to 9065 she only has like one or two classes with Ash so she just changed them so he didn't see her. Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon 

Reasons of the Heart – More Than That

"Wait Ash," she called.

Ash looked around scanning the corridor as he tried to figure out where Misty's voice was coming from.

"Wait," she said again as she walked over to him.  

Ash looked at her quizzically.  She forced a tiny smile onto her face as she pulled back the hood of her sweatshirt and took off her glasses and wig.  Ash gasped as he saw her telltale red hair and aquamarine eyes.

"Surprise," she offered nervously.

Ash just looked at her not quite sure what to say.  Before in his room he had planned it out perfectly, but as soon as he saw her all his practice went out the window and he didn't know what to say.  Every time she looked at him with those crystal clear blue-green eyes he'd forget how to speak.

"Look Ash," Misty started.  "I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to leave, you have as much right to be here as I do, and as long as you do your best to stay out of my way I don't give a damn where the hell you are."

Misty immediately turned on her heal and walked away leaving Ash standing in the hall as her words started to sink in.  "At least she asked me to stay," Ash sighed quietly.  He waited till Misty was out of range then jumped into the air.  "Yes!" he yelled pumping his fists into the air.  

"I'm glad you finally decided to listen to us and stay," Parker told him.

"It's not you I'm listening to," Ash said.  He couldn't help but smile knowing that Misty had been the one that really made the difference.

"Then who?" Brock asked as he sat down on the couch.

"Misty," Ash said containing his excitement well.

Brock and Parker looked up suddenly really interested in what Ash had to say.

"What do you mean?" Brock asked suspiciously.

"I mean Misty told me to stay," Ash said.  "What do you think I mean?"

"Are you sure that you didn't mishear?" Parker asked.  " I mean, Misty's kind of got a way with words.  It could have just been a nice way of telling you to get the hell out of her life.  Are you sure that's what she said?"

"Well not in those exact words," Ash said, "but that's what she meant."

"So what did she say?" Brock asked.

"She said I don't have to leave," Ash said.  He had memorized exactly what she had said; it was probably the nicest thing she'd said to him in the last five and a half years.  "Then she said that I had as much right to be there as she did."  Ok so he selectively memorized everything she said, the bit about him staying out of her way had just slipped his mind at the moment.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Brock said.

"Open it," Melody said.

"You think I should?" Misty asked.

"Open it," Sabrina echoed.

"Ok," Misty said reaching for the box.  She suddenly moved back as faraway from it as possible as if she had been hit by an invisible force field.  "I don't think I should," Misty said nervously sounding almost like a small child.

She had been sitting staring at the box for almost two hours now and still it remained untouched it's perfect bow not even wrinkled.  The box was less than an inch high, three wide and five down and was the color of wine.  A gold ribbon was wrapped around it tied in a bow at the top.

"C'mon Misty," Sabrina urged, "you act as if it's some kind of bomb."

"You never know," Misty retorted.

"It's probably just a small gift that he got you years ago that he finally had the courage to give to you," Melody suggested.

"But what if it isn't?' Misty asked.  "What if Sabrina was right?  What if it is a bomb?  What if it's something really important?"

"And what if it is?" Melody said.

"And what if it's something worse?" Misty said quietly.

"Look, why don't we play a game?" Sabrina suggested.  "If one of us win," she said pointing to herself and Melody, "you open the present right now."

"What if I win?" she asked.

"You can open it later in the privacy of your own room when we least suspect it," Melody said.

"That's not fair," Misty said.

"You're going to have to open it some day and I say the sooner the better," Melody shrugged.

"Fine," Misty said, "but I get to choose the game."

"Best of ten?" Melody pleaded.  It had been twenty minutes and already Misty had won five games in a row.

"Just give up," Misty said.  "Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Melody asked picking up the present and waving it in the air.

"Very funny," Misty said sarcastically snatching the present from her friend's hand and heading to her bedroom.

Misty sat in the middle of her bed staring intently at the package.

_'Just open it,'_ she told herself.  _'It's not like it makes any difference anyway.'_ She had been reasoning with herself for hours before she came to that conclusion.  It was just before dawn when she finally worked up enough courage to open it.

She carefully tore off the wrapping revealing a leather-covered book.  Her fingers traced the gold writing in the corner that spelled out her name.  _Myst.  _The tears rolled down her face dropping onto the books leather exterior.

She looked at the first page marked with Ash's messy chicken scrawl as it had been five years ago:

_Dear Myst,_

_Happy Birthday.  I hope you have a great day and that we'll always be best friends.  Have a great day._

Love From Ash. (A/N: Just incase the strikethrough doesn't come up love has been crossed out)  "Damn you Ash," she whispered. Misty's tears dropped onto the paper making the old ink run.  She read the words over and over again until they began to blur and no longer made any sense.  She closed her eyes trying to think of something else but still her thoughts remained on Ash. 

I can see that you've been crying You can't hide it with a lie What's the use of you denying 

_That what you have is wrong_

_I heard him promise you forever_

But forever's come and gone 

_Baby, he would say whatever_

_It takes to keep you blind_

_To the truth between the lines_

_I will love you more than that_

_I won't say the words _

_Then take them back_

_Don't give loneliness a chance_

_Baby, listen to me when I say_

_I will love you more than that_

_Baby, you deserve much better_

_What's the use of holding on?_

_Don't you see it's now or never?_

_'Cause I just can't be friends_

_Baby knowing in the end that_

_I will love you more than that_

_I won't say the words _

_Then take them back_

_Don't give loneliness a chance_

_Baby, listen to me when I say_

_I will love you more than that_

_There's not a day that passes by_

_I don't wonder why we haven't tried_

_It's not too late to change your mind_

_So take my hand, don't say good-bye_

_Ohh, I will love you more than that_

_I won't say the words and take them back_

_I will love you more than that_

_I won't say the words _

_Then take them back_

_Don't give loneliness a chance_

_Baby, listen to me when I say_

_I will love you more than that_

_I will love you more than that_

_I won't say the words _

_Then take them back_

_Don't give loneliness a chance_

_Baby, listen to me when I say_

_I will love you more than that_

_('More Than That' Backstreet Boys)_

Ash sat by his window looking out at the stars.  It was strange how everything these days just made him think of Misty.  If he squinted a little he could even see her face looking down on him in the patterns of the stars.

"I need a hobby," Ash muttered to himself moving away from the window.

He grabbed his journal deciding that now was as good a time as any to write in it.

It's strange that they say that a strongest heart is not the one that is never broken, but the one that never forgets, the one that is still able to love anyway and is still able to live.

_It seems lately that things like this seem more important than they use to and make more sense.  Maybe it's true.  Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder, or maybe Parkers been slipping something into my drinks again._

_I hear a love song on the radio and immediately my mind strays to Misty and everything else seems insignificant.  It's as if somebody has put a spell on me and now all I can think about is Misty and nothing else.  Not that I'm complaining._

_I wish I were brave.  I've done so much in my life, saved the world at least twice, battled some of the fiercest trainers and Pokemon in the world; you'd think that would count for something wouldn't you.  Not in her eyes, and not in mine.  These are all things people would consider brave, but when I'm standing in front of a girl about half my size that I've known since I was ten years old I just freeze up and I can't even think straight._

_She's got me questioning everything I ever did and I just don't know what I am anymore.  A few simple words and my minds totally messed.  I can't tell the difference between fact and illusion anymore, but you know what? Despite everything that's going on, it's not as bad a feeling as you might think._

~ to be continued ~

I hope you liked that one, I feel as if it's lacking some of the usual zest, I don't even think that I put a good ole fashioned "Damn you Ash" in there.  Oh well, I hope you liked it anyway and please review even if you think it's a piece of shit.  

By the way I really need some more idea's for dumb ass things Ash could do.  If you have any really good ones can you please email me at: Virgochick87@hotmail.com.

Thanks.


	7. Not Even in my Dreams

Disclaimer – Don't own Pokemon or anything else really now that I think about it.

Reasons of the Heart – Not Even in my Dreams

Misty sat alone on the beach hugging her legs to her chest.  She watched the waves sweep in and out making strange patterns along the shore.  The cool breeze lapped her bare shoulders and whipped her hair around her face it's soft waves falling gently around her face every few seconds before being caught again in the wind and trailing behind her head.

Misty drew small designs in the ground with her finger; the sand almost seemed to disintegrate at her touch.  She subconsciously drew not bothering to look at what she was doing.  She looked at the ground after awhile and sighed contently as she saw the small heart with her name and Ash's written inside.

"May I sit down?" a male voice asked.  

Misty wondered who else would be here, it was the middle of winter and the beach was deserted apart from her and whoever he was.  

She looked up then immediately felt self conscious of her tiny denim shorts with a frayed edged and blue tank top.  "Um . . . sure," she said blushing and making a point of not looking up so she couldn't be entranced by his amazing chocolate brown eyes.

He sat next to her and looked out into the sunset.  "It's beautiful isn't it?" he asked turning to face her.  Misty continued to look at the ground doing everything she could to keep herself from looking at him.  She could feel his gaze on her and it felt like he could see right through her into her soul and already knew exactly what she was thinking.  "It's almost the most beautiful thing I've seen in my entire life," he added not taking his searching gaze off her.

"What's the first?" she asked intrigued but still her gaze remained elsewhere.  She was afraid what might happen if she looked up at his tanned physique and watched the wind toss his dark locks over his beautiful brown eyes.  It was bad enough picturing it without the added effect of him being a solid figure and looking into his eyes, those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes.  Already her pulse was racing as she savored his sweet scent like it was the only thing that made her life worth living, as if it were the air she breathed.

"You are," he said.

A small tear began to roll down Misty's face.  Ash wiped it away and followed her jaw line with his finger cupping her chin in his hands gently moving her face so he could look into her eyes.

"I love you Misty Waterflower," he told her before he leaned forward and kissed her.

_But only in my dreams_

_I'm living without you_

_Giving my heart to somebody new_

_It never should have been this way_

_You know we almost had it made_

_With feelings so right how wrong could I be?_

_{That was then}_

_Now there's not a day I live_

_{Can't pretend}_

_There's anything I wouldn't give_

_Believe in the end you'll come back to me_

_'Cos now you're gone I'm standing still in time_

_I should be moving on leaving you behind_

_But only in my dreams I'm living without you_

_{Only in my dreams I'm living without you}_

_Giving my heart to somebody new_

_{Giving my heart to somebody new}_

_And I could make believe I'm getting over you_

_{Getting over you}_

_But that's just the part I can't seem to do_

_I'm moving on from should have been_

_But only in my dreams_

_{I was wrong} _

_I never should have shied away_

_{Holding on} _

_To tender words I should have said_

_A lesson well learnt I learned it too late_

_{Now you're gone} _

_How am I supposed to live?_

_When my hearts no longer mine to give_

_It's locked in the past_

_Can't go back it's a cruel twist of fate_

_{Cruel twist of fate}_

_And now you're gone there's no good end good bye_

_I should be moving on leaving you behind_

_But only in my dreams I'm living without you_

_{Only in my dreams I'm living without you}_

_Giving my heart to somebody new_

_{Giving my heart to somebody new}_

_And I could make believe I'm getting over you_

_{Getting over you}_

_But that's just the part I can't seem to do_

_I'm moving on from should have been_

_But only in my dreams_

_So I guess I'll keep dreaming_

_Maybe one day I'll let you go_

_But seeing is believing_

_I've got to let you know_

_In my dreams_

_I'm without you_

_{Living without you}_

_I give my heart_

_To someone new_

_{To somebody}_

_Make believe_

_I'm over you_

_I'm moving on from should have been_

_But only in my dreams_

_But only in my dreams I'm living without you_

_{Only in my dreams I'm living without you}_

_Giving my heart to somebody new_

_{Giving my heart to somebody new}_

_And I could make believe I'm getting over you_

_I'm moving on from should have been_

_But only in my dreams_

_('Only In My Dreams' by Steps)_

Misty sat up in her bed.  She raised her hand to her lips still feeling the soothing sensation of Ash's lips against her own.  It had only been a dream but her body still felt warmed right through despite the fact that it was midwinter.

Misty tried to shake off the warm sensation the dream had left her with and decided to get up and get a drink.  She knew there wasn't anyway she was going to get back to sleep any time soon.  She was probably going to spend the rest of the nigh trying to analyze the dream and figure out why she was thinking like that.

Misty got up and walked into the kitchen turning on the kettle.  She sighed as she thought about how wonderful it had felt to be kissing Ash.

"Good night," Melody sighed as she and Parker shared one last good night kiss.  She could hardly believe that it had only been one month.  She was so happy with Parker it seemed like so much longer.

It had been a whole month since Parker had finally had the courage to ask her out.  He had been so sweet about it.  It was Valentines when they finally had their first date, but Ashley had spent the few weeks before sending her romantic poems, love sonnets and little gifts as a secret admirer.  He had anonymously asked her out for Valentines by the end.

She almost didn't go.  She was kind of afraid that he would turn out to be some psychopath stalker who was totally obsessed with her.  Misty, who knew it was Parker, had convinced her to go anyway.  If it hadn't been for Misty they never would have gotten together.  It was the same way for Sabrina and Brock.

That was the main reason why herself, Sabrina, Brock, Parker and nearly all of their other friends were all working so hard to help get Ash and Misty together.  They knew it would happen eventually, love like there's doesn't just die out and disappear, and they just needed a little push in the right direction.

She snuck in the door trying hard not to wake up Misty.

"Hey," Misty said from behind the counter.

"What are you doing up?" Melody said walking over to where her friend was making herself a cup of cocoa.

"Do you want one?" Misty asked avoiding Melody's question.

"Um sure," Melody said.  "So do I need to ask again or are you just going to tell me now rather than keeping me in suspense."

"I couldn't sleep," Misty said impassively not giving away any details.  Misty continued to busy herself as she finished making Melody's drink trying to keep her mind off Ash and her dream.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Melody asked sympathetically.

"I'm not sure," Misty said.  She quickly filled Melody in with the details of the dream.  "It was kind of weird, somehow I knew it would be him, like deep down I could tell, but I was still unsure who it was until I looked up."

"And deep down you know that you were hoping it would be him," Melody added.

"Maybe," Misty said looking away as a small blush crawled onto her cheeks.

"So are you going to the party on Friday?" Melody asked changing the subject for Misty's benefit.

"Probably not," Misty said.  "Ash might be there and I don't think I would be able to handle it."

"And what if he is?" Melody shrugged.  "You know Misty you really have to stop letting him control your life.  Just ignore him, after a couple of drinks he'll be like every other guy there."

"Totally wasted and off his head?" Misty asked a small smile making it's way to her lips at the thought of Ash being pissed.  In a way she still saw him as the ten-year-old boy she saved from the river all those years ago.

"No," Melody said, "just another guy you wouldn't be caught dead with unless he was the last guy on earth."

Misty smiled at her friend's last comment.  "There are a lot of them aren't there?" Misty said.  Melody nodded.  "I can't promise anything," Misty said, "but I'll try."

"Great," Melody said as she leaned forward and hugged her best friend.

"I'll get it," Parker said as he reached for the phone.  "Hey Violet," Parker greeted when his sister-in-law appeared on the screen in front of him.

"Hey Park," she said.  "How are you doing?"

"Great," he told her.

"Actually we were just calling to find out the scoop on Misty," she said, as her two sisters appeared either side of her.

"She seems really sad lately, I mean worse than she's ever been before," Daisy sighed.

"And she just won't tell us anything," Lilly added.  "We're really worried about her."

"Ok," Parker said, "but you have got to promise me you won't tell her that I told you, alright."

"Promise," the three girls replied in sync.

"Hey Parker . . ." Ash said as he entered the room.  He trailed off as he saw whom Parker was talking to.  "Hey Lilly, Daisy Violet," Ash offered nervously.  He looked at Parker and tried to figure out why he was talking to Misty's sisters.

The three girls just glared at him.

"I guess you already know my roommate," Parker said.  "Ash, Violet's my sister-in-law."

"Look guys," Ash told them, "I'm really sorry for what happened and any pain I might have caused her.  All I really want is for her to know that."

"We already know that," Violet said.

"We forgive you for what happened," Daisy added.

"We just have loyalty to Misty," Lilly finished off, "she being our sister and all."

"It's good to know that," Ash said quite relieved that they had at least forgiven him.  Misty on the other hand, was a completely different story.  Right now, a masked villain seemed the least of his worries and a happy ending seemed like the most implausible occurrence yet.

"At least we know what's up with Misty now," Violet sighed.

"Yeah," Ash agreed.

It was finally Friday night; they were feeling kind of good and looking all right.  In all seriousness, they were beyond all right in their strategically chosen outfits.  

Melody was wearing a long blue spaghetti strap top that went halfway down her thigh with a long split down each side and a gold rose sewn into the corner (A/N: it's more of a dress than a top).  She had on flared black pants with silver rose designs ebroided into the bottom of each leg.  She wore a black choker with a silver pendant around her neck and white strappy heals underneath her pants.  She wore her hair out so it cascaded over her shoulders seductively.

Misty wore a violet halter neck top with a sloping hemline that only just reached her skirt.  Her shoulders were left bare where her flared sleeves left off, they started with the same violet as her top to a similar lighter one as the darkest parts of her pants and skirt.  She wore a wrap around skirt that didn't go all the way round that started as a light violet ranging to a pale lilac, over flared pants that followed the same change of tone.  She wore half of her hair up in a delicately styled bun with a few remaining strands at the front curled into ringlets and framing her face while the rest of her hair was left straight.

Misty played with her hair nervously as she entered the room.  Somehow she immediately spotted Ash and decided to make a point of not looking that way for the rest of the night.  Misty walked over to the table to get a snack or two.

When she got there she made the mistake of looking in Ash's direction.  Their eyes locked for a second before the usual group of girls fawning over him surrounded him.  Misty clenched her jaw as she watched those sluts strut around him in their miniskirts, hot pants and stiletto heals.  She wished they would all just drop dead.

Misty grabbed the first bit of alcohol she could find and threw it down her throat before she reached for another one and downed that too.  She had taken the vodka shots.  She knew she wasn't usually a heavy drinker and that it didn't take long before it got to her, but she needed something to numb her mind.

_'Admit it,'_ said the nagging voice in her head.  _'You're jealous.'  'I am not jealous,'_ she argued back.  _'I just think it's inappropriate for those skanks to be walking around like that.  I'd feel exactly the same way if it was some other guy.' 'Yeah right,'_ the voice replied.  _'And vodka is a safe alternative for water.' 'Ok so I'll lay off the vodka.  I get the point.'_

"Hey," said the guy standing in front of her snapping her from the debate going on in her head.  He had short blond hair and gray blue eyes that were like ice, though they were nothing compared to Ash's chocolate brown.

_'Stop thinking about him,'_ Misty scolded herself.  "It's Will, right?" she asked.  "We're in music together."

"Yeah," William Fox replied.  "Misty, isn't it?" Misty nodded.  "So what's wrong?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Misty asked.

"Well it's just that this is a party and you don't seem to look like you're having too much fun," he replied.

"I'm just not a party person," Misty sighed slightly annoyed that she had to explain herself to some random guy she hardly knew.

"Why don't I get you a drink?" Will suggested, "It'll loosen you up a little."

"Sure," Misty said, "but no alcohol, I'm a bit of a light weight."

"Perfect," Will muttered quietly.

"Pardon?" Misty said.

"Nothing," Will said shaking his head innocently, "just talking to myself."

He came back a few minutes later with what appeared to be an innocent cup of coke.  She downed it quickly ignoring how much clearer it was than usual and the warm feeling she had as the beverage slid down her throat.  

It didn't take long before Will's concoction began to take effect.

"Oh my gosh, I love this song," Misty said slurring slightly.  "Dance with me Ash."

"It's Will," he told her.

"Yeah whatever," she replied as she dragged him onto the dance floor.

"Did you hear what Will did?" Will's friend Conner asked Ash.

"What?" Ash replied apathetically.  Lately Will's attention seeking pranks had been getting on his nerves a lot quicker.  At first they all seemed amusing but now they were just getting down right boring.

"He put a few hallucinogenic in this girls drink and mixed in a little vodka and voila," Conner laughed.  "You should see her."

"Where is she?" Ash asked feeling sorry for the girl.

"Over there, dancing with him," Conner said pointing to the dance floor.  "We all know this is going to be Will's luckey night." Conner said hinting at the obvious.

Ash saw the flash of red hair and immediately recognized her.  He stalked over to where Will was dancing and punched him in the nose and pulled Misty into his arms protectively.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Ash asked Will pushing him forcefully.

Everyone formed a circle around them, Misty still at his side holding onto his arm like a small child would hold onto her mother.

"What the heck do you think you're doing Ketchum?" Will asked holding his hand to his bleeding nose that was most likely already shattered.

"You think you're so funny," Ash told him.  "Did it ever occur to you that someone might get hurt?  Or worse, even die?"

"Why do you care?" Will asked.  "It's not like she's part of your infamous fan club."

"Because she's my friend and I care about her," Ash told him.  "Now get lost Fox, before I really hurt you."

Will stalked away after glaring at Ash.  The crowed cheered loudly for Ash as they watched Will go.

"My hero," Misty said groggily as she pressed her lips against his then passed out in his arms.

"She really needs to lie down," Ash muttered to himself.  He considered taking her back to her room but he wasn't sure where that was.  He decided on taking her to his room seeing as it was only a few doors down and hopefully far enough away to let her sleep peacefully.

"I love you, Ash," she muttered as she woke up for a brief moment before passing out again.

"I love you too, Misty," he said quietly kissing her forehead lightly before sweeping her into his arms and taking her to his room. When he got there he laid her on his bed pulling the sheets over her fragile body and put a glass of water next to her bed as well as a few headache tablets for the morning.  He watched her sleep peacefully before he grabbed a few sheets and made himself a bed on the couch.

_'She looks just like an angel,'_ Ash thought to himself as he took one last look at the goddess lying peacefully in his bed.  It was times like these where Misty looked so at peace that hurt him more than anything else ever could.  It was times like these that made him question himself more and more.

"So much for sleep," Ash muttered to himself as every thought in his head was consumed by images of Misty.

~ to be continued ~

I hope that was good.  Please review.  Please remember to send me your ideas.  Thanks for reading and for all the reviews I've received already.


	8. Hero

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon 

Reasons of the Heart – Hero

_"May I have this dace?" Ash asked.  (A/N: this is where the few hallucinogenic come in)_

_Misty smiled and nodded.  He took her hand and led her to the center of the dance floor.  Everyone was watching stunned by the gracefulness and easiness of their bodies swaying together to the sweet melody in the background.  The pale blue silky material of Misty's medieval ball gown brushed against Ash's black tuxedo._

_A boy with blue eyes and blonde hair walked up to them.  He grabbed Misty's arm possessively and tried to pull her away from Ash.  Ash punched him in the nose and put his arm around her protectively.  She held onto him tightly as he defended her chivalrously._

_"My hero," Misty whispered shyly as the other boy walked away.  Then both leaned forward inching closer and closer until their lips met in a passionate kiss._

_"I love you Misty," Ash said as the pulled apart._

_"And I love you, Ash," she replied leaning her head on his chest._

Misty opened her eyes cautiously stunned by the sudden bright light.  She stared at the green wall in front of her with great interest.  _'Isn't there supposed to be a window there?'_ she thought.  She didn't know where she was or what she was doing there, but one thing she did know for sure was that she definitely wasn't in her own powder blue room.

Birds chirped happily outside the room pounding in her head.  She groaned.  She pulled the duvet tightly around her body as she rolled over to see if there was anything to tell her where she was.  She saw a framed photograph of her self and just behind that was one of herself and Ash, his arms wrapped around her waist and chin resting on her shoulder

Hangover still in full effect, it didn't quite occur to Misty that only two people had that photograph.  She drank the water and took the headache tablets and lay back down while she waited for the room to stop spinning.

"Weird," Misty muttered as she tried to remember last night.  She couldn't remember any of the events of last night beyond her eyes locking with Ash's across room just before all those girls walked up to him.  The only really clear memory was a feeling of complete and utter peace.  It was feeling of content, she felt safe and protected in his arms, but most of all she felt loved.

She sighed sadly.  It was the type of feeling described in all of those romantic movies she and Melody loved to watch at least ten times in a row.  It was like something from a fairy tale, something she had always just presumed was a myth.  It was something people spent their whole lives looking for – many unsuccessful – and Misty couldn't even remember who and for what reason she was feeling this way for.

The headache was starting to lessen, yet still hadn't completely disappeared but at least the room had stopped spinning.  She sat up and got out of the comfortable bed she had been lying in.  She looked down at the slightly wrinkled clothes she was wearing glad to see that they were only slightly disheveled and the right way round.  That meant she hadn't done anything she would regret as soon as she figured out what the hell happened last night.

"That must have been some crazy party," Misty sighed aloud as she stood up.  She lost her balance for a second then quickly regained it and left the room heading into the lounge/dinning room.

She scanned the room quickly, her eyes drawn to the figure tossing on the sofa.  She guessed that it was his bed she had been sleeping in.  She knew just by seeing him there that he was the reason she had felt so fortunate when she woke up that morning.  She knew that he had done something last night that she would be eternally grateful for, that he was her knight in shinning amour.

She walked over to where he was sleeping quietly so as not to wake him from what seemed like a restless sleep.  She pulled the blanket down gently so she could see his face.  Misty gasped and stepped back as she recognized his chiseled features.  How could she forget?  She couldn't forget anything else about Ash, so why would that be any different?

"Ash," she whispered quietly.  She looked at him and sighed.  She leant down and kissed his forehead lightly.  She didn't want to, but she just couldn't help herself.  He had looked so troubled with his burrowed forehead, crinkled eyes and sad smile; all she really wanted to do was cheer him up and that was the only thing she could think of.  And it worked, immediately his smile seemed lighter and his face less grim.

"Thank you Ash," she said as she moved away, "I don't know why and I don't know what, but thank you."

She stroked her chilled shoulders trying to warm herself up as she headed to the door and left the apartment.  "Bye Ash," she whispered before she shut the door.  She almost regretted it as she heard the lock click into place denying her entry whether she wanted to get in or not.  "So much for getting over him," she sighed sadly as she walked back to her own room.

_Would you dance  
if I asked you to dance?  
Would you run  
and never look back?  
Would you cry  
if you saw me cry?  
And would you save my soul, tonight?  
  
Would you tremble  
if I touched your lips?  
Would you laugh?  
Oh please tell me this.  
Now would you die   
for the one you loved?  
Hold me in your arms, tonight.   
  
I can be your hero, baby.  
I can kiss away the pain.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away.  
  
Would you swear  
that you'll always be mine?  
Or would you lie?   
would you run and hide?  
Am I in too deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
I don't care...   
  
_

_You're here tonight.   
  
I can be your hero, baby.  
I can kiss away the pain.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away.  
  
Oh, I just want to hold you.  
I just want to hold you.  
Am I in too deep?   
Have I lost my mind?  
I don't care...  
You're here tonight.  
  
I can be your hero, baby.  
I can kiss away the pain.   
I will stand by your forever.  
You can take my breath away.  
  
I can be your hero.  
I can kiss away the pain.  
And I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away.  
You can take my breath away.  
I can be your hero.  
('Hero' Enrique Iglesias)  
__  
_  
  
__

_Ash held his stance.  He glared hard at the being across from him, shrouded in the darkness.  Ash knew he what he had to do.  He knew that he had to protect her._

_It was a battle to death, and he would protect Misty, even if it meant his life.  He didn't break his glare even though all he wanted to do right now was find Misty in the crowds around them, but he knew that would be his demise, that he would not be able to fight when he saw the pain and fear in her eyes.  She only had to say the word and he would give up everything for her._

_That's when you know that you're in love.  When you would give up everything, even your life, if it meant they never had to feel pain.  Ash knew he would do that for Misty.  He loved her so much that all that really mattered in his life these days was her happiness.  He would give up all he had just to see her smile, he would walk through fire just to be with her, he would cross ocean just to hold her, he would walk through hell and not think twice.  His world could disappear and he wouldn't care as long as she was still there.  There's nothing in this world that he wouldn't do for Misty._

_Ash held the heavy iron sword in his hands.  It felt natural to him, as if it was an extension of his own body.  He checked his stance still watching his opponent carefully waiting for his next move._

_His opponent ran, charging at his chest.  Ash feinted (A/N: this is something I read in a Buffy book so I figured it was a fighting technique so if anyone knows what it means I and I used it in the wrong contex, please tell me) as he blocked the attack.  Ash had the advantage being the taller of the two.  The two dueled Ash striking minor blows to his opponent._

_Then suddenly everything seemed as it was in slow motion.  Ash had his opponent against the wall; he had no way out but through Ash and Ash wasn't planning on moving any time soon.  Ash raised his sword high and brought it down with the intention of slicing the other sword in two.  Ash waited for the sword to break but it didn't.  The other smiled evilly just before half of Ash's sword dropped to the ground.  _

_Ash stood stunned unsure of what was happening.  The other man took Ash's surprise as his own advantage.  He slammed his own sword into Ash's abdomen.  Ash gasped and dropped to the ground feeling the deep impact of the sword impaling him.  Then everything went dark._

_Ash opened his eyes as he heard a gentle voice say his name.  He saw Misty bathed in a heavenly glow against the dark, empty arena.  She held his head in her hands and kissed his forehead gently.  A small smile came to his lips as she moved away._

_"Thank you Ash," she whispered looking deeply into his eyes._

_"I do it all because I love you," he told her._

_She smiled and blinked back tears yet one came free and dropped onto his wound bathing it in the same heavenly glow as it healed.  "Thank you," she whispered again._

Ash was awoken immediately by the barely audible click of the lock shifting into place.  He was surprised that something so quiet and simple had woken him up compared to the drunken racket Parker would have made as he came in much earlier that morning.

Ash stood up groggily.  It made him laugh to think that he was probably the only guest at that party who hadn't got himself a severe hangover.  He quickly walked over to his room as Misty flashed through his head.  He would just watch her for a few minutes so that he could leave before she woke up.

He stood in the door way prepared to see Misty's delicate body lying peacefully in his bed; he wasn't prepared to find it empty.  

'_She just left,'_ he thought sadly._  'No thank you, no good bye, no nothing, but what did I expect?'_ He sighed sadly looking down at the ground so he wouldn't have to see the empty bed._  'This is Misty I'm talking about, the same girl who wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire, the one who would rather kiss a frog with the small chance it may become a prince than me.'_

He walked away from the door dejectedly.  A small note lying on the coffee table caught his eye as he walked towards the sofa he had spent the nigh sleeping on.  He figured it was just a note from Parker so he went to check it out not expecting anything much.

_Ash –_

_Thank you._

_- Myst_

Ash could hardly believe what he was seeing.  He reread the note several times before it was etched into his memory.  It was amazing the difference four little words could make.  He walked back to his room placing the note in the top draw of his dresser then flopped down onto his bed.

He breathed in her scent, which still clung gently to the sheets.  It was like jasmine or lavender; it was delicate and beautiful just like Misty.  He could just lie there forever breathing it in and he wouldn't care what happened.  The whole world could fall apart around him and he would still be there just breathing her in.

_'Maybe there's still a chance for you and I,'_ he thought as he fell back to sleep dreaming of Misty.

Misty walked into her own room, happy to see the familiar violet and blue walls with pink trimmings.  Melody walked in groggily wearing her favorite teddy bear pajamas.  

"Wasn't last night wild?" Melody said immediately putting her hand to her head feeling the impact of her own voice on her stewing hangover.

"I wouldn't know," Misty said.

"Oh I forgot," Melody said.  "I bet you probably want to know what happened to you, don't you?"  Misty nodded.  "I'm probably not the best person to answer because I don't have the whole story."

"It's better than what I've got," Misty shrugged.

"Well, you know Will Fox?" Melody said.  Misty nodded.  "Yeah well he kind of spiked your drink.  I don't just mean vodka, I mean like drugs and stuff too, and I don't mean aspirin.  You were totally off your head Misty.  No offence."

"What happened next?" Misty asked impatiently ignoring the 'off your head' remark.

"Well, you were dancing with Will when somebody informed . . . well um . . . Ash about what he had done," Melody said watching Misty's reaction carefully, biting her lip nervously as she waited for Misty to explode.  _'It must be the hangover,'_ Melody thought.  "Then Ash kind of bet the crap out of Will, which was so cool.  I mean it is so totally what that prick deserved after what he was planning to do.  Well anyways you kind of passed out in Ash's arms and he carried you out so you could rest."  Melody decided it was probably best that Misty didn't know that she had kissed Ash and told him that she loved him.  She was surprised Misty had taken what she had told her so calmly.

"I think that explains it," Misty murmured emotionless as she headed to her room.

Will sat across from his girlfriend, Melissa Simmons, at the on campus café stewing in his own anger.

"Cheer up sweetie," Melissa said sounding like the total airhead that she was.  "It's not like you broke a nail."  Will rolled his eyes as he watched Melissa check her own perfectly manicured nails before relaxing and looking over at him.

"I hate that guy," Will said glaring at the dark-haired, dark eyed boy at the counter.  "I wish he would just choke on that muffin and fall over and die."

"I think he's cute," Melissa said starring at Ash adoringly.

Will just ignored the comment as if she hadn't even spoken.  That's what he usually did, it wasn't like he was missing out on anything important.  If Melissa had even one intelligent thought in that cute – but rather empty – little head of hers he would take it as the first sign of the apocalypse.

"I can't believe him," Will sneered as he watched a group of girls at the next table let out a sad sigh as he left.  "He beats me up for some girl he probably doesn't even know and still he comes off as the hero and I look like some sex razed jackass that gets girls wasted so he can sleep with them."

"I still think he's cute," Melissa said.  "Anyway, he _so_ obviously has a thing for that chick it's not funny.  Any girl would kill to be her."

"What did you say?" Will asked suddenly listening to what she was saying.

"That I think Ash is cute," Melissa said.

"No," Will said, "after that."

"Oh, you mean the fact that Ash has the hots for Misty?" Melissa asked.  "I can't believe you didn't see that.  I mean it's _so_ obvious.  Did you like see the way he was like looking at her?  She's way more than a 'friend' to him.  And she likes him too.  I mean, _hello_, why else do you think she was upset?  Believe me, she wouldn't have taken that drink if her mind weren't so messed up because it's constantly on him.  How could you not see that?" she asked totally astonished.

"I don't know," Will shrugged.  "Maybe because the last time I checked I was still a guy," Will said sarcastically.

"Funny," Melissa replied snidely.  "So why do you care who he likes anyway?  I thought you hated his guts."

"True.  I would rather be attacked by vultures than listen to you talk about him," Will told her, "but I think we might have just discovered his weakness."

"Does that mean you have a plan?" Melissa asked roused by the idea of mischief and mayhem.

"Of course," he said mysteriously.  "Does that mean that I have your undivided attention?"

"Definitely."

~ to be continued ~

I hope you liked that chapter.  I know it's not quite as interesting as Ash beating the crap out of Will but it will have to do.  Thank you all for reviewing and please keep sending your ideas.


	9. Yesterday

Someone asked me what size font I use, would you believe 16.  Ash's fanclub is just a bunch of tramps that are madly in love with Ash.  And thank you to 'The Watcher' for explaining feinted.  

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

Reasons of the Heart – Yesterday

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't believe I did that._

_That was the most irrational and idiotic thing I've ever done in my entire life, closely followed by accepting that drink from Will Fox._

_So I bet your wondering what was so terrible.  Here it is condensed into three little words.  I.  Kissed.  Ash.  I don't know why I did it.  I feel like screaming only I'm afraid Melody would come in and ask me what was wrong and I wouldn't be able to lie to her, she's my best friend._

_I know I'm pretty new to the whole grudge holding, loathing thing, but I'm pretty sure that when you hate someone you don't go around kissing them every chance you get.  So what if her bet up Will and protected me.  And who gives a damn whether or not he gave up his bed so I could sleep in it while he had to settle for the lumpy old couch.  And it's not like anyone really thinks it matters that he looks really **really** cute while he's sleeping._

_Ok maybe the vodka and drugs from Wills semi lethal concoction haven't worn off yet.  Yeah, that's it, I can't think straight because of it._

_You do realize that this is all Ash's fault.  I mean if he hadn't taken me back to his place then I never would have seen him lying on the couch, and therefore never kissed him.  Then there's the fact that if he hadn't beaten the crap out of Will, I never would have had to go to his place.  And if he hadn't been at that party in the first place I would have been sober and sane enough not to accept that drink from Will, because now that I think about it, that drink was awfully clear.  To finish it off if Ash never stole my bike, he never would have come into my life and none of this twisted soap opera ever would have happened._

_My life would be so much less complicated without him.  I'd be spending college going to parties and hanging with my friends.  I wouldn't end up crying myself to sleep at night.  I would have a normal life that doesn't revolve around Ash Ketchum, because you know what despite everything I try, my current life still does._

_At least next week is summer vacation.  That means six weeks with out even the mention of his name.  I'm not sure if I should be ecstatically happy or utterly miserable._

Misty shut the leather bound book.  The gold writing caught the light drawing her eyes to its delicate lettering, Myst_._  

"Why is love so confusing?" she asked to no one in particular as she reread the first page of the diary taking in each word of the messy chicken scrawl with utter importance.

There were two things in life Misty knew she would never understand.  Men and Love.  Sadly the two went hand in hand and she knew she would never be able to avoid either one, especially love, as long as Ash lived.

She couldn't see why man was ever given a heart.  What kind of being decided that man was worthy of such a thing.  We don't care for anything other than ourselves; we destroy everything we touch.  We have no tolerance for anything, the environment, animals, not even each other; we criticize anything that is different from us.  What gave them the impression that we could love someone so much that they were more important than material possessions and ourselves?  What made them think that we would give up all we had, every thing we spent our entire lives working towards, for one person?

They say love has no boundaries, but then we are the boundaries.  We created loves boundaries with out superficial views and love of material possessions.  We only strengthened them with our greed, pride and lust.  Now these boundaries are so strong that no one can break them, yet somehow a few do.  A few are able to break through these boundaries and find love.

But then that's not love.  That's _true_ love; true love is the love that knows no boundaries.  True love is immortal spanning across time and space.  True love is special, because superficial views, greed, pride, and lust, those are loves boundaries and true love has a saying of it's own.

_Amor Omnia Vincit._

_Yesterday,_

_All my troubles seemed so far away_

_Now it looks as though they're here to stay_

_Oh I believe in yesterday_

_Suddenly_

_I'm not half the man I used to be_

_There's a shadow hanging over me_

_Oh yesterday, came suddenly_

_Why she had to go I don't know_

_I don't know_

_She wouldn't say_

_I said something wrong_

_Now I long for yesterday_

_Yesterday_

_Love was such an easy game to play_

_Now I need a place to hide away_

_Oh I believe in yesterday_

_Why she had to go I don't know_

_I don't know_

_She wouldn't say_

_I said something wrong_

_Now I long for yesterday_

_Oh Yesterday_

_Love was such an easy game to play_

_Now I need a place to hide away_

_Oh I believe_

_I believe_

_I believe in_

_Yesterday_

_('Yesterday' by the Beetles)_

Misty walked through the empty quad using it as a shortcut to her class.  It was her last class until the new semester begun.  Most people had already left campus and all that were left were the few spending summer there and those who still had classes they needed to get to before they could even consider leaving.

"Hey Misty wait up," a male voice yelled.

Misty kept on walking after glancing back to see whom it was.  There were only a few people who she would stop for, and he most definitely wasn't on her list.

"Wait Misty," he called again.  

Misty scowled as she heard him come up to her side.  She really wasn't in the mood for his nonsense.  "What?' she asked simply aggravated by his presence.  She kept on walking looking straight ahead not even showing him the respect acquired from looking at him.  The sooner he was gone the better.

"I guess you didn't see me," he said.

"I guess not," she said quickening her pace.

"Hold up Misty, I just wanted to apologize," he pleaded.

"Apology accepted," she said, "Now get the fuck away from me Fox or I'll call the cops and get you arrested for the crime with the best sentence.  What calls for death penalty these days?"

She gasped as he grabbed one of her arms forcing her to stop and turn to face him. He grabbed her other hand smiling at her maliciously.

"Let go of me Will," she told him small tears welling in the corners of her eyes.  "You're hurting me."  Misty struggled desperately as she searched the quad for anyone who could help her.  The quad was almost the same size as the football field and the only other person was too far away.  She could scream for help, but by the time anyone got there Will would be long gone.

"I just wanted to talk," he told her.

"Then why can't you let me go?" she asked desperately.

"Because I don't want you to run away.  Now are you ready to listen to me Misty?"

She nodded.  Her whole body was shaking with fear.  She could hardly remember the last time she had felt so frightened in her entire life.  

"You wouldn't believe the stories I've been hearing from Ashy boy about you Misty," he told her.

"I don't believe you," she sobbed.  "Why would he even talk to you?"

"Let me speak bitch," he said as he slapped her in the face.  "That's better, now what was I going to say.  Oh yes, he told me that you were brilliant Misty.  Best he's had in a long time."

"He would never say that," she said glaring at Will through her tears.

"Oh yes he would . . ." Will trailed off as a fist collided with his face and he fell to the ground.

"Nice to see you again Will," Ash smiled.  He turned away from Will and looked at Misty.  "Are you alright?" he asked.  Misty nodded unsurely and looked at the ground as she wiped away her tears.  "Will you better stay away from her, cause if I ever see you near her again you'll get more than just a broken nose."

"You may have won the battle," Will sneered as he left,  "but we'll see who wins the war."

"We've got to stop meeting like this," Misty joked as she tried to hold back her tears.

"It's alright to cry," Ash told her.  "You don't always have to be strong Misty."

"Yes I do," she told him backing away.  She needed to get away from him as soon as possible for she knew she would walk into his open arms.  She knew that she would just cry into his chest and let out everything she had been holding back for so long.  She knew she would never be able to let him go, ever again.  "I've got to get to class," she told him before she turned around and ran towards the class she was already late for.

"Bye Misty," he whispered.

~ to be continued ~

I'm so glad I finished this chapter.  I can't believe I deleted it before I put it up; well that's what I think I did.  I'm not actually sure.  Well anyways, I hope you liked that chapter and please review.

By the way thanks for all the reviews I've received so far.  It's way more than I expected.

Which reminds me, you probably all want to know what 'Amor Omnia Vincit' means.  It's Latin (I think) and it means 'Love Conquers All' and I promise it will; eventually. __


	10. What Makes a Man?

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon or much else for that matter so I wouldn't bother suing me because you'll be lucky to get anything other than a few old dolls and CD's.

Reasons of the Heart – What Makes a Man

Misty looked at him sympathetically, her own eyes welling with tears.  "I'm sorry," she said as she handed him back his gift.  She forced a small smile onto her lips for his benefit before she ran off into the horizon.

"C'mon Ash," Melody told him sympathetically.  "You didn't really think Misty could ever love you?"  She looked into his eyes and saw the pain in them.  She put her hand to her mouth trying to hold back laughter as she came to the realization.  "Oh my gosh, you did.  That is so sweet," she told him as if she was talking to some small child with a childish crush.

Ash woke up.  He gazed at her picture sadly.  "Maybe I should just give up," he sighed.  Sometimes he wished he could.  He wished he could take the easy option and just get over her, but he knew it was impossible.  This wasn't some childish infatuation or crush; he was in love with Misty, and he always would be.  There'd be distractions now and then, but he knew he would always love Misty.

Ash flicked on the radio trying to think of anything.  The words of the song were so real to him, it almost made him want to cry, but it helped him think more clearly.  He finally realized that he wasn't the only one going through this however different his situation seemed. 

"This isn't goodbye 

_Even as I watch you leave_

_This isn't goodbye_

_I swear I won't cry_

_Even as tears fill my eyes_

_I swear I won't cry_

_Any other girl_

_I'd let you walk away_

_Any other girl_

_I'm sure I'd be ok_

_Tell me what makes a man_

_Want to give you all his heart_

_Smile when you're around_

_And cry when you're apart_

_If you know what makes a man_

_Want to love you the way I do_

_Girl you got to let me know_

_So I can get over you_

_What makes her so right?_

_Is it the sound of her laugh?_

_That look in her eyes_

_When do you decide?_

_She is the dream that you seek_

_That force in your life_

_When you apologize _

_No matter who was wrong_

_When you get on your knees_

_If that would bring her home_

_Tell me what makes a man_

_Want to give you all his heart_

_Smile when you're around_

_And cry when you're apart_

_If you know what makes a man_

_Want to love you the way I do_

_Girl you got to let me know_

_So I can get over you_

_Other girls will come along_

_They always do_

_But what's the point _

_When all I ever want is you_

_Tell me_

_Tell me what makes a man_

_Want to give you all his heart_

_Smile when you're around_

_And cry when you're apart_

_If you know what makes a man_

_Want to love you the way I do_

_Girl you got to let me know_

_Let me know_

_Girl you got to let me know, oh_

_So I can get over you"_

_('What Makes a Man' by Westlife)_

That's when Ash realized it.  He finally understood why.  It wasn't that he couldn't get over Misty; it was that he didn't want to.  He wanted to love her, he wanted to think about her night and day, for her to be the first thing that crossed his mind as he awoke and the last as he drifted to a sleep filled with images of her smiling face.  He wanted her to be everything.  It was because she was so right.  It was her laugh, her smile and most of all her eyes. 

If loving Misty was wrong, he didn't want to know what was right.  He would spend his whole life loving her whether she knew it or not, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.  There was no getting over Misty, and he didn't care.  He was in love with Misty and each passing day he just fell deeper under a spell she was unaware of casting.

Misty woke up that same morning thanks to the warm sun streaming through her window.  Emotions conflicted in her head while she tried decide if she should be happy to finally be rid of Ash, or sad knowing she wouldn't see him for a whole six weeks.

Misty pulled on her dressing gown as she walked towards her window so she could take a good look at the day hoping it might make her feel better.  She noticed two figures walking to wards the gym entrance.

"Melody," she called.  The girl looked up at the window immediately and waved at her fried.  She nudged the boy's shoulder and pointed up.  He looked up and waved as Misty waved back at the two.  "You're up early," Misty called.

"You on the other hand appear to have just gotten out of bed," Melody called back.

"You know me too well," Misty laughed.  "Why don't you guys wait downstairs and I'll be down as soon as possible."  The two nodded as they walked in the gym entrance.

Misty was down about twenty minutes later.

"So what's up?" Misty asked.

"Actually I have the best news," Melody said happily being sure to keep her friend in suspense.

"What?" Misty asked.

"Veronica didn't get president," Melody gushed.

"That's the best news I've heard ever," Misty smiled.

"That's not even the best of it," Melody told her.  "Guess who got president."

"You?" Misty asked.

"No even better," Melody said her smile almost reaching her ears.  "You," she cried handing her best friend a pale blue envelope.  "Open it," she insisted.

Misty carefully opened the envelope expecting it to be some kind of practical joke.  "Dear Misty Waterflower," she read aloud.  "We are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen to be president of the sorority Alpha Gamma.  Your first act as president will be to organize the first meeting where you will discuss the preparations for the first big social event of the year, 'The Equinox Ball' which will be organized with one of the many fraternities of the school chosen by your sorority and you.  Good Luck and we hope you have a great year.  Sincerely Angelica Agnes-Scott."  She looked over the letter disbelievingly.

"Oh my gosh," Melody gaped, "I can't believe it.  That letter is from Angelica Agnes-Scott, the very first president of Alpha Gamma.  Isn't this cool?  I mean you're the president and I'm vice."

"This is going to be a great year," she said. 

~ to be continued ~

So this is like the end of their first year at college which you'd barely believe seeing as the seasons were so messed up and the fact that they don't usually make sophomores or juniors or whatever they are, sorority president.  Well anyway the next chapter is a new semester and a new year and hopefully a new beginning for our favourite couple.


	11. I Turn to You

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon

Reasons of the Heart – I Turn to You

Misty listened to the rhythmic flow of the water being pushed away as she swam laps of the schools Olympic size swimming pool.  This was one of her favorite places to be in the whole entire school.  Her sisters had donated the quad to the school on finding out that there was no outdoor swimming pool and that the indoor one was only allowed to be used by the swim team during the warm months.

Brick pillars and metal fencing with a large open entrance at one end surrounded the quad.  At the front entrance was a small bronze plaque that said:

In memory of Elizabeth and Leo Waterflower

May you always find peace in our hearts.

In the center of the quad was the swimming pool complete with waterslide, diving boards and the gyms logo, the cascade badge (A/N: I think) embossed on the floor, but what Misty really loved about the quad was the garden.  Only four types of flowers grew in the garden, Violets, Lilies, Daisies and their mother's absolute favorite, White Peonies.  Then garden was also full of fruit trees and picnic tables.  It had a small waterfall and pond at one end.

"Hey Misty," Melody and Sabrina called as they entered the quad.  They were the first of the sorority to arrive for the first meeting of the year.  Misty swam to the edge, hopped out of the pool and wrapped her sarong around her waist lightly.

Slowly the rest of the sorority entered the quad and sat down at the picnic tables.

"Meeting now in order," the treasurer called.

"Thank you all for coming," Misty told them.  "We're going to get straight to business and talk about 'The Equinox Ball'.  The thing we have to do before we can even start on the preparations is decide which fraternity to join with.  Any suggestions?"

Melody and Sabrina's hands shot up straight away.  "Alpha Zeta Gamma," they cried in unison.

"So what frat are Brock and Parker in?" Misty asked.

"Parker's vice-president," Melody told her proudly, "but I mean it's not just us, most of our boyfriends are in Alpha Zeta Gamma.  Plus they're practically our brother fraternity."

"And what about the tradition," Sabrina added.  "Angelica and Maxwell were the first presidents of the two and they held the ball together, fell in love and got married.  Ever since then it's always been held between them.  I mean we are the longest running sorority and they're the longest running fraternity.  Please Misty."

"I have nothing against it," Misty shrugged.  _'You know who else is probably in Alpha Zeta Gamma?'_ a little voice in her head sneered.  _'I'll give you a hint.  He has the initials A. K. and you're madly in love with him.' 'So what?'_ she asked back.  "Let's take a vote," Misty suggested.  "All for."  She watched her entire sorority raise their hands and decided that she was outnumbered deciding to raise her hand too.

"Then I guess it's unanimous," Melody cried gleefully.  "This is going to be the best ball in the history of Davison."

"I'll go talk to their president tomorrow," Misty smiled caught up in the mood.  "I think that's all the business taken care of so who's up for volley ball?"

Everybody ran to get changed into their swimsuits.  Misty pulled off her sarong and began to climb to the top board.  It was at least twenty-five meters off the ground, but Misty didn't care, she'd been diving since she was four years old and she was all right as long as she didn't slip.

Meanwhile . . .

The fraternity was out playing baseball in the field next to the pool.

"You're never going to hit my super turbo twist," Brock told him.  "Prepare to be annihilated Mr. President.

Brock released the ball.  It came flying towards the bat and . . . WHACK! The ball flew over the wall straight into the pool enclosure.

"He hit super turbo twist," Brock sobbed.

"Damn, homerun," Parker sighed.

"Don't worry, it's my fault, I'll go get it," called the batter as he headed to wards the quad.

Misty was about to perform her dive when she was hit by a baseball and lost her balance.  She slipped and fell, clinging desperately to the diving board and closing her eyes tightly so she wouldn't have to see the ground.  She was all alone in the quad as the rest of her sorority was still changing.

Ash walked into the quad, his eyes immediately drawn to the figure sobbing as she clung to the diving board.

"Help! Somebody," she called quietly between sobs.

"Don't worry," he called to her.  "Ivysaur go!" The Pokemon appeared from its pokeball and looked to its master for direction.  "Ivysaur, get her down."

Ivysaur wrapped its vines around the sobbing girls waist and gently pulled her down to the ground.  Misty ran into her savior's arms not caring whom they were, just needing to be held.  

She savored the familiarity of his arms around her and the soft scent that filled her senses.  In the desperate need to be comforted she just presumed that she was imagining him to be her savior to help calm her.  It never once crossed her mind that it was he she was clinging to.

_When I'm lost_

_In the rain_

_In your eyes _

_I know I'll find the light to light my way_

_When I'm scared_

_When my world is going crazy_

_You can turn it all around_

_And when I'm down _

_You're there_

_Pushing me to the top_

_You're always there giving me all you got_

_For a chill_

_From the song_

_For a friend_

_For a love that keeps me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength_

_To be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

_When I lose_

_The will to win_

_I can reach for you_

_And reach the sky again_

_I can do anything_

_Cause your love is so amazing_

_That your love inspired me_

_And when I need a friend _

_You're always by my side_

_Give anything_

_And taking me through the night_

_For a chill_

_From the song_

_For a friend_

_For a love that keeps me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength_

_To be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

_For the arm to be my shelter from the rain_

_For truth that will never change_

_For some one to lean on_

_For a heart I can rely onto anything_

_For a world I can feel to _

_I turn to you_

_For a chill_

_From the song_

_For a friend_

_For a love that keeps me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength_

_To be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

_('I turn to you' by Christina Aguilera)_

Brock and Parker were starting to get impatient.  How long does it take someone to grab a baseball anyway?

They decided to go to the quad and see what was up.  The first thing they saw as they entered the quad was Ash with a sobbing girl in his arms.  Ash's jacket was draped around her shoulders and her head buried into Ash's chest concealing her telltale red hair.  She continued to cry unaware that it was he.

"Why aren't you just the regular Bill Clinton?" Parker joked at the sight.  "Well done Mr. President, but aren't you forgetting something?" Parker asked gesturing to the pool where their baseball was floating unharmed.

"I think the ball hit her," Ash said thoughtfully as he stroked her back comfortingly.  "When I came in she was hanging from the high board."

"Misty!" Melody cried as she and Sabrina walked in followed by the rest of their sorority.

"Misty?" Brock and Parker asked at the same time, but after the initial shock they were almost jumping for joy

Ash led Misty to Melody and Sabrina who was still in shock themselves.  He quickly explained what had happened.  By this time the rest of the fraternity had given up on waiting and made their way to the quad to see what was happening.

"Are you ok now?" Ash whispered in her ear as he handed her over to Melody and Sabrina.  She nodded as her two friends wrapped her in a big hug.  Ash quickly went away to hide in the crowd of people; when Misty turned around to thank him, he was already gone.

"Where'd he go?" she asked sadly.  "I didn't even get to thank him."

"Thank god," Melody whispered to Sabrina who stifled a giggle.

"Pardon?" Misty asked.

"I said that's odd," Melody said then quickly changed the subject to avoid further questioning.  "I think the whole of Parker's fraternity are here.  You can ask the president now."

"Excuse me!" Sabrina yelled getting everybody's attention.  "Which one of you is the president of Alpha Zeta Gamma?"

They guys split into two groups revealing Ash who was trying to hide at the back of the group.  He smiled nervously as the entire fraternity pointed at him.  "Some friends you are," he muttered as he made his way up the green mile so he was standing before Misty.

"Um . . ." Misty began biting her lip.  "As you know Alpha Gamma have always been half of the group involved in preparing 'The Equinox Ball'.  We have always had the help of a fraternity chosen by the majority of our sorority.  As always our choice this year is Alpha Zeta Gamma.  So would you please join us in throwing the first social event of the year?"

"If it's ok with you, Misty," he told her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, I'm guessing that when you choose this our fraternity you didn't even know I was in it let alone the president," he replied.  "So I'll only do it if you're ok with working with me on this."

"Of course I'm ok with it," she lied through her teeth putting on her false smile and overly cheery voice.  "Why wouldn't I?"

"No reason," he shrugged.  "Do you want to get together tomorrow night and start working on it?"

"Why not?" she shrugged.  "I'll meet you at the burger place off campus at seven."

"Ok, bye," he said almost unable to hide his happiness as he walked away.

"Tomorrow is going to be a very long day," she sighed as she watched Ash leave.

"It could be worse," Melody offered.

"How?"

"I don't know," Melody shrugged.  "You could be trapped on a deserted island with him.  I mean it's just a date."

"It is not a date," Misty told them.

"You know according to more than half the female population of our school, there are far worse people to be going on a date with," Sabrina told her.

"Then half the female population of Davison are either seriously delusional or shallow bitches their entire judgment of a person on looks alone and don't care what a persons really like on the inside," Misty replied.

"So you admit he's cute?" Melody asked smugly knowing she had just got Misty right where they wanted her.

"I've got to go

She then quickly began to pull her stuff together.  She pulled the jacket off her shoulders and looked to see if there was a name.  _'Of course,'_ she thought as she read the initials A. K. off the collar.  "Melody can you give this to Parker to give to Ash," she sighed.

"Why?  Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going to the doctor," she replied.  "I think I'm coming down with something."  She handed Melody the jacket and left.  

~ to be continued ~

Ok so the next chapter is probably Misty and Ash meeting for dinner.  This story is really mean because in most of my stories they're together at the most by the ninth chapter.  I'm already past the ninth and they still haven't got together.  At least Misty doesn't exactly hate his guts now and she's kind of starting to forgive him and she's got all this conflict inside.

Well stay tuned for the next chapter and please review.  


	12. Show me the meaning of being lonely

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

Reasons of the Heart – Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely

_Dear Diary,_

_The doctor said I was perfectly fine.  Actually, more correctly, she said I was perfectly sane.  Can you believe it?  That me of all people, is clinically **sane**?  I mean I would understand it if it was someone else, but I mean I practically accepted a date from Ash Ketchum._

_I don't mean like last time.  Last time Melody tricked me into it, I didn't even know it was he until pikachuu came up to me and told me.  This time he came and asked me if we could meet somewhere to start on the ball prep.  He even gave me the choice not to join with his frat.  I mean he's so totally sweet, he made sure that I was ok with it before even accepting, and the way he keeps saving me, not every guy would do that you know.  Arghhh, this is getting totally impossible.  So anyway I'm basically going out on a date with Ash tomorrow.  Just don't let Melody and Sabs know that I admitted it, they've been teasing me ever since._

_So anyway, if I remember correctly the doctor told me that what I was going through was sane and that everyone goes through it once in their life, and of course that I'm in love.  I totally could have told her that.  I knew that, what, nine years ago, at least.  You don't need a PhD to tell people that they're in love; you can do that even without the diploma and hat.  I hope people don't sit down and write nasty things about me when I become a psychiatrist._

_So anyway, after dinner I'm back here having a girl's night in with Sabs and Melody.  Were going to sit down reading our horoscopes, taking quizzes about god knows what so we can discover the real us according to some crazy arsed shrink with a king-sized bottle of Prozac in her bag while watching chick flicks and horror movies so that we can make bitchy comments about the sluttish lead actress who can't act to save her life, and her boyfriend.  Ok so maybe that last bit is just about Crossroads and her ex-boyfriend, but you knew what I meant_

_All my friends keep telling me to forgive him.  I can't seem to go anywhere without someone giving me advice about my love life, not even to my sisters who usually stay out of my life period.  So I'm going tell you exactly what I've been telling just about everyone else, so that I can get my point across to at least one person in this godforsaken place, unless I'm unknowingly schizophrenic._

_"You see, I don't even know myself.  Part of me forgives him.  Part of me is just being careful, afraid to get too close.  Part of me just wants to run away every time I see him, before he hurts me again.  Another part is so repulsed by him I can't even look him in the eyes.  The other just wants to rip out his guts for all to see, just to prove he doesn't have a heart.  And then there's the part that can't stop crying, even for a second, and bursts into tears just thinking about him.  There are all these conflicting emotions inside me, some telling me to go and talk to him when we pass on the way to class, others tell me to run away, as fast as I can, in the opposite direction before I go and say something I'll regret for the rest of my life.  But then there's that one tiny voice, the one that somehow seems to over power the rest.  The one that tells me to run into his arms and never let go, to just and forgive and forget; to tell him everything that I'm feeling inside.  To tell him that I love him."_

_No one realizes just how much I wish I could do that.  No one knows how familiar, and right his arms feel wrapped around me like they were today.  Nobody understands just how much I love him.  It's the only thing I understand; yet it's the thing that makes my life even more painful and confusing with each passing day.  I wish I could turn back time; relive my life all over again.  I know if I did, I never would have said all that stuff about him being a twerp.  I wish I could just forgive and forget so I can start things over with him.  But no matter how hard I wish, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want to start afresh: I can't._

_For some reason all this talk of Ash, and love, makes me think of something Brock told me last year.  It was after I told him that if things were meant to be, fate would sort it out for us.  He shook his head and told me that some things are just too important to be left to chance.  Money for one, and Love for another.  That I can't rely on fate to make my decisions for the rest of my life because eventually my luck will run out and fate won't be any use to me after that.  It's the last part that gets me thinking.  "Eventually Misty, the coin will come up heads."_

_So I sit here, Brocks words running through my head as I try to block out all thoughts of Ash, unsuccessfully I might add, though I presume that is obvious seeing as this entire entry is on the subject of none other than he.  All I'm really asking is a measly minute to go by without him crossing my mind.  I'm not asking for a lot, only one measly minute, not much._

_And not likely._

_But before I sign off, I just have one question.  Diary, why is it that we don't even realize we have a heart until it's broken by the one it desires?_

_Signed as always,_

_Misty Waterflower _

Misty stared at the several pages of writing she had just written.  The words became blurred and jumbled as her tears began to cloud her vision.  _'Why does he always do this to me?'_ she asked herself trying to stop the tears the continued to stream down her face.  She stared out the window at the clouded, threatening sky.  She was glad to see that the autumn weather was more in touch with her emotions than the cheery spring.

Misty pulled a coin out of her pocket and flicked it into the air, not bothering to call it.  Misty caught it and slapped it on the back of her hand.  She took a deep breath as she prepared to see the results.  Misty saw the shiny silver coin, revealing what she had been dreading for so long.  Misty gasped and dropped the coin to the floor immediately.

Heads

_Show me the meaning of being lonely_

_So many words for the broken heart_

_It's hard to see in a crimson love_

_So hard to breath_

_Walk with me, and maybe_

_Nights of light so soon become_

_Wild and free I could feel the sun_

_Your every wish will be done they tell me_

_Show me the meaning of being lonely_

_Is this the feeling I need to walk with?_

_Tell me why_

_I can't be there where you are_

_There's something missing in my heart_

_Life goes on, as it never ends_

_Eyes of stone observe the trends_

_They never say_

_Forever gazing for me_

_Guilty roads to an endless love_

_{Endless love}_

_There's no control_

_Are you with me now?_

_Your every wish will be done they tell me_

_Show me the meaning of being lonely_

_Is this the feeling I need to walk with?_

_Tell me why_

_I can't be there where you are_

_There's something missing in my heart_

_There's nowhere to run_

_I have no place to go_

_Surrender my heart_

_Body and soul_

_How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show?_

_You're missing in my heart_

_Tell me why I can't be there where you are_

_Show me the meaning of being lonely_

_Is this a feeling I need to walk with?_

_{Tell me why}_

_Tell me why_

_I can't be there where you are_

_There's something missing in my heart_

_Show me the meaning of being lonely_

_{Being lonely}_

_Is this a feeling I need to walk with?_

_Tell me why_

_I can't be there where you are_

_There's something missing in my_

_Heart_

_('Show me the meaning of being lonely' by Backstreet Boys)_

"You must be happy with yourself." 

"Why?" Ash asked not looking up from the work he was doing.

"Well not only did Misty just spend ten minutes crying into your chest, unaware of course until she takes off your jacket and notices the initials your mother kindly sewed into the collar," Brock told him.

"Damn," Ash cursed.  "I knew there had to be something wrong with the kind mysterious stranger who keeps saving her life plan.  There that goes right out the window," he sighed.

"Not only that," Brock continued after rolling his eyes at Ash's last comment, "but you also get to spend time with her planning this thing and you're the guy who gets to show up to this little shindig with her on your arm."

"Ok one, it was only nine minutes and fifty-six seconds," Ash replied.  "Secondly, she'll probably spend as little time with me, as faraway from me as humanly possible.  And thirdly, it's not a shindig, it's a ball."

"Didn't you hear me?" Brock asked.  "I said you get to go to the _ball_ with Misty Waterflower."

"Yeah, I just presumed you were trying to be funny," Ash shrugged returning to his work.

"Well I'm not," Brock said.

Ash shut the book and looked to his friend, suddenly more interested in what was going on.  "And what makes you so sure that she'll go with me?" Ash asked disbelievingly.

"Because it's compulsory," Brock shrugged.  "It's like this unwritten rule that she has to go with you.  Plus there's the whole superstition the girls have about the presidents of our frat and their sorority always falling in love and getting married etcetera."

"She probably didn't know about," Ash said as he picked up his things and headed back upstairs to his room.

"Not likely," Brock muttered as Ash left.

Ash looked through his journal before he began to write down everything that was going through his head.

_I remember once when Misty told me that I was suffering from a superman complex where I have the need to save people.  She said that I was mentally ill and that I would always be drawn to dangerous situations because of this incomprehensible urge to be there.  This was of course after she had decided to become a psychiatrist and_ _spent hours reading up on_ _every possible form of mental illness known to man._

_When I asked her why she wanted to be a psychiatrist she told me it was that she wanted to be a doctor so she could help people but she wasn't that good with blood and needles and knives.  She said that this way she could help people where they really needed it.  _

_I think what got through to me the most was this, "A doctor could spend his whole life healing every patient that came to him, whatever the problem, but they would never truly be cured, it may be a week or maybe even ten years, but sooner or later the same person would come to him suffering from some disease they didn't pick up on the first time.  A person can tell you that their nose is stuffy, or that their head hurts, but you never quite get the full picture and you never know exactly what the problem is.  Psychiatric doctoring is about emotions and feelings, something that can be explained in words and doesn't have to be inspected from every angle to diagnose; it's something that you can read from the body language or their voice.  It's easier to cure a disease than a person, but sometimes all people need is someone to listen even if they have to pay them by the hour."_

_I guess now she hates my superman complex even more, because if it weren't for that I would have left her alone and given someone else the chance to be her hero each time the opportunity arose.  _

_But I like being the one who saves her; I like protecting her, being by her side.  I like fighting for her.  I like being there to comfort her, to hold her in my arms as she cries into my chest.  I the feeling I get as I hold her in my arms; it's as if nothing else matters when she's with me and everything seems so right._

_I've tried cutting myself off from her, and I've tried living my life without her, but I can't.  Life without Misty just seems so insignificant that it's not worth wasting my life away like that.  Life without Misty isn't worth jack-shit and life with her is worth so much more than you could even imagine.  _

_I can't bare life without Misty, so I'm not even going to try; it's not worth the pain.  This time I'm going to take it slowly, build from a simple friendship to what we use to have and from there the possibilities are endless.  _

_I know she cares for me, even if my only evidence is a drunken decree after Will's special jerk cocktail.  This time I won't get my hopes up so soon and maybe I'll be able to work things out with her and finally have the love I always hoped I'd receive from her._

_I've done so many stupid things in my life, I know Misty's the first to admit it, but the only thing I really regret is letting her go._

_I only wish she knew._

Ash sighed.  This time he was going to make things work.  He wouldn't ruin what little time they would spend together by bringing up the past.  He wouldn't bring tears to her eyes like he always did and force her away.

He would give her time to get to know him again.  Let her remember all the times they shared together, good and bad alike.  He would let fate have some control and stop searching for a way in.  This time everything was going to come up roses especially if he had anything to do with it.

~ to be continued ~

I know I said that it would be their date but isn't this just so much more interesting I mean Misty angst, Ash's little trip down memory lane.  Ok so it's a little lame but it could be worse, I can prove it by the chapter I didn'tput up.  I mean it was bad.

Anyway please review and I promise next will be the date, its not like I have much of a choice in the matter so I guess I have to.  So please review and try not to be too harsh on this sorry excuse for an AAMR.


	13. Angel

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

Reasons of the Heart – Angel

Misty carefully checked the mirror one last time before she walked out the door.  She was an obvious perfectionist and she could never walk past a mirror without checking every hair was in place.  It didn't matter if she was going out with the girls or meeting some guy for dinner, first impressions were important to her and perfection sure made them an easier feat to conquer.

Misty stopped and screwed up her nose.  She looked great in her vintage denim hip hugger jeans, black lacey top with a satin camisole underneath and hoop earrings, but something just didn't look right.  She tried pulling her hair up into a bun, then down on her shoulders and several other styles before she finally opted to have it in pigtails at the sides with a few strands free at the front.

She walked to the door taking a quick glance down the corridor before stepping out and making a dash for the front door.  "This is not a date," she muttered to herself as she slowly made her way to their meeting place being careful not to get any dirt on her new boots.  She tried to shake off the sinking feeling she had as she walked that she had forgotten something.

_Spend all your time waiting_

_For that second chance_

_For a break that will make it ok_

_There's always some reason_

_To feel not good enough_

_And it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction_

_Beautiful release_

_Memory seeps from my veins_

_Let me be empty_

_And weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

_In the arms of the angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark cool hotel room_

_And the endlessness that you fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage_

Of your silent reverie 

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find_

_Some comfort here_

_So tired of the straight life_

_And everywhere you turn_

_There's vultures and thieves at your back_

_The storm keeps on twisting_

_You keep building on the lies_

_That you make up for all that you lack_

_It don't make no difference_

_Escaping one last time_

_It's easier to believe_

_In this sweet madness_

_All this glorious sadness_

_That brings me to my knees_

_In the arms of the angel_

_Fly away from here_

From this dark cool hotel room 

_And the endlessness that you fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find_

_Some comfort here_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find_

Some comfort here 

_Some comfort here_

_('Angel" by Westlife)_

Ash sat in his usual booth in the far corner of the restaurant.  He tried not to look at the door even though it was all he wanted to do.  He took a quick casual glance now and then hoping that it wouldn't be the moment that she decided to walk through the door.

"Do you have to be so obvious?" a female voice beside him asked.

"What?" Ash asked turning towards the girl.

"What's her name?" she asked.

"What makes you think I'm waiting for a girl?" he asked.

Amanda just rolled her eyes and let out a soft chuckle.  "Really Ash, I've known you since we were kids," she told him.  "Do you really think you can fool me? It's so obvious that it's just not funny."

"Why do you care?" he asked.

"No reason," she shrugged.  "Just wanted to make sure that you weren't being unfaithful to Misty."

"Funny," he said sarcastically.  "Can you just get me a coke?"

"Sure," Amanda said as she walked off.

Ash glanced towards the door and smiled as he saw Misty walk in looking perfect as always.  She stopped to chat to a few friends before she noticed him and headed towards his booth.

"Wow Misty, you look great," he awed.

"Um . . . thanks," she replied nervously.  "So why don't we just get straight into business?  Any specifications?"

"Well the guys said no costumes," he told her off the top of his head.

"Damn, that's too bad," she sighed.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Its just that my sorority overrule your frat by one vote," she said smiling sickeningly sweet as she rested her chin on her hands.  "Hope they don't mind."

"I guess they wont," he shrugged.

"Here's your coke Ash," Amanda said as she brought over Ash's drink.  "Can I get you . . . " she began as she turned to Ash's date.  "Oh my gosh, Misty what are you doing here?"

"Amanda?" Misty asked before the girl replied with a quick nod of the head.  "I can't believe it's you.  You look great."

"Thank you," she smiled.  "You look amazing Misty, so what are you doing here with . . . well . . . him?  I mean I know he's my cousin and all but really Misty, you could do better."

Misty blushed and scowled.  "I am not on a date with him," she stated calmly.  "I'm only here because he happens to be the president of the frat Alpha Gamma choose."

"Of course Misty," Amanda said as she rolled her eyes sarcastically.  "So can I get you anything?"

"Diet coke?" Misty offered.

"Ok, be right back."

(A/N: I'm just going to skip the rest of the date seeing as its just boring discussions and a little reminiscent, nothing really interesting so I'll just move on to the interesting stuff)

"Damn," Misty said as she caught a glimpse of her watch.

"What's wrong?" Ash asked.

"I didn't expect this to take as long as it did," she stated apologetically, "I was supposed to meet up with Melody and Sabrina almost 2hrs ago."

Ash looked at his own watch and chuckled.  "You only expected this to last ten minutes?"

Misty smiled sheepishly and shrugged her shoulders innocently.

"Can I at least walk you home?" he asked.  "It being late and dark and all."

"I guess," she shrugged.

They both got up and began to walk back to Misty's sorority house.

"Thanks Ash," Misty said as they stopped outside the front door to the sorority house.  "Tonight was fun."

Ash nodded in agreement.

Misty suddenly found herself drawn to his eyes and as she looked deeper and deeper into those pure chocolate brown eyes their faces began to get closer and closer till there was nothing left between them but the small expanse of air that separated them.  Only seconds later their lips met in an amazing kiss filled with loving memories and renewed desires.

After what seemed like an entire lifetime they broke apart.  Misty looked at him for a second, her confusion eminent before she said goodbye and stepped in the door.

"Good night Misty," he whispered as he turned away, a small smile on his face, and made his way back to his own dorm.

"Good night," she whispered quietly after hearing the barely audible farewell of her one true love.  She slumped against the door contently and sighed as she let her body slide down it to the floor.

"Hey Misty," Krysanthia said as she walked into the hallway.  "Have fun?"

"Depending on your definition of fun," Misty shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well Melody and Sabrina are waiting for you in the main room and I don't think they're even remotely happy with you."

"Lucky me," she sighed as she made her way to the room where her best friends were waiting for here arrival.

"Look who finally decided to show up," Sabrina said with mock defensiveness.

"What did I miss?" Misty asked.

"Nothing really," Melody shrugged.

"So what are you doing now?" Misty asked.

"Reading the new edition of Pokemontology," Sabrina told her.

"Yours is so totally you Misty," Melody stated.  "Just listen to this.  You're a Jigglypuff.  You are always searching for the one.  If you don't watch carefully you may end up spending your entire life searching for them only to find they were right in front of you all along.  You have an image in your head of perfection that very few live up to so don't be too harsh on the ones who don't because you may end up missing out on a lot more than you think."

Sabrina looked over Melody's shoulder and read aloud the end of the horoscope.  "Your perfect match is the fun loving Totadile who will let you in on a whole other perspective of the world.  Your best buds are Evee's (A/N:  The Pokemontology equivalent to Gemini) and Kazam.  That's me and Mel."

"Now lets find the Totadile," Melody suggested.  "It says here October 29th.  I can't think of anyone with that birthday."

Misty lowered her head and tried to conceal the blush crawling onto her cheeks as she thought about the only Totadile she knew and the amazing kiss they had shared only moments earlier.

"Here," Melody said as she finished flipping through the book and stopped at the page they were looking for.  "Totadile," she began.  "Is always the life of the party.  Filled with some kind of infinite supply of energy that no one can match a Totadile can always be found where the action is.  Totadiles are fun loving, energetic and good humored because life is too short not to.  Totadiles always add a new perspective to everything and love to be heroic.  One of Totadiles biggest problem is that it never quite sees everything like it is and often misses the important details."

"Sounds about right to me," Misty muttered to herself.

"A Totadile very rarely thinks about love," Melody continued, "but when they find love it will be the purest form imaginable as they sweep the unsuspecting Jigglypuff off its feet.  Totadiles best friends are Onyx and Ghastly. Famous Totadiles yadayadayada," she said as she skimmed the page and began turning to the next but stopped suddenly when something caught her eye.  "Oh my gosh," she said suddenly.

"What?" Sabrina said as she looked over her friends shoulder and read the line.  "Couldn't have said it better myself," she gaped wearing the same expression.  She cleared her throat as she began to read the sentence out loud for Misty's benefit.  "Worlds Greatest Pokemon Master," she began, "Ashton Satoshi Ketchum."

"What a weird coincidence," Misty shrugged.

"Coincidence my ass," Sabrina said.

"Actually I wanted to ask you something kind of on the lines of that subject," Misty started.

"What?" Melody asked.  "Sabrina's ass?"  The girls fell into a fit of giggles almost immediately.

"No Ash," Misty said as she stopped laughing. "What would you do if I . . . I mean somebody kissed Ash?"

"It depends who," Sabrina replied.

"Ok," Misty said searching her mind for the right words.  "Hypothetically speaking lets say that Shannon kissed Ash."

"I bitch slap that little whore all the back to the shit hole she ascended from," Melody said angrily.

"Ok, a bit more graphic than I expected but its good to know," Misty said nervously.  "What if I kissed Ash?" Misty asked.  "Hypothetically speaking of course," she added quickly.

"Well first I'd scream," Melody said.

"Then I'd scream," Sabrina added.

"Then we'd call everybody else . . .," Melody continued.

"And there'd be a whole lot of screaming going on," Sabrina finished in her best Elvis impression.

"Ok hypothetically speaking," Misty began, "Let's say this whole situation isn't quite as hypothetical as we all thought."

For a few seconds there was complete and utter silence.  It was like the calm before a storm and this was going to be one hell of a storm.

Melody was the first to make a noise.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then Sabrina followed suit.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Several others then joined them as the good news was spread around the entire sorority.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

~ Meanwhile outside ~

Ash was slowly making his way back to his own place when he heard the screaming coming from the sorority.  He began to run but stopped himself almost immediately.

_'It's probably just a bug,'_ he thought to himself as he turned back in his previous direction.  _'But what if its not?'_ part of him argued back.  _'Somebody else could have heard it, I'll let them go instead, Misty's probably sick and tired of my saving her.' 'And if you save her that means that you get the credit and she may just be so overcome with joy like last time you may find her in your arms once again.'_

Well that did it.  Just the thought of holding Misty in his arms and he was over at the sorority house in a flash.  He went over what he would say as he knocked on the door and waited for a response.

A few seconds later, a girl with jet-black hair and hazel-brown eyes opened the door.  "Just a sec," she said before Ash could even get a word in and disappeared to one of the other rooms.

A few seconds after that Misty came to the door unaware.  "Hi Ash," she said taken aback.  "What are you doing here?"

For a second Ash couldn't speak, he was just so caught up in her beauty that his mind couldn't concentrate on anything else.  "The screaming," he said as he suddenly remembered his purpose for coming back.  "I wanted to check that you were ok."

"Thanks Ash," she said smiling despite herself.  "That was really nice of you but were fine."

Ash smiled back as his breath was taken away and his heart began to race just looking at the beauty of this angel that stood so near to him.  "I'm just glad you're alright," Ash replied.  "Well . . . goodnight Misty."

"Goodnight Ash," she replied waiting for him to walk away before she shutting the door.

"Who was at the door?" Melody asked as Misty reentered the room.

"No one," Misty replied slightly dreamily before Chloe, the girl who had answered the door, could reply.

"That's strange," Sabrina mused as she looked out the window, "nobody sure does look a hell of a lot like Ash."

"Strange," Misty replied nonchalantly.  "I think I'll go to bed," she said as she headed upstairs to her own room before anybody could stop her.

"Looks like they don't need our help anymore," melody smiled as they watched Misty practically skip down the hall.

~ to be continued ~

Seeing as there's a big ball coming up I think that it's best that I introduce some of the new characters coming in which are all based on my friends:

Krysanthia Mendoza – Shoulder length dark brown hair with red highlights, brown eyes and tanned skin.  She's Spanish and her best friend is Jessica Davis.

Chloe Arizona – Chest length jet black hair, hazel brown eyes and an olive complexion she's always up for a laugh and can make anyone laugh.

Elizabeth (Lizzie) Reynolds – Short jet-black hair, green eyes and a light tanned complexion, she's a bit shy but a good and trustworthy friend.

Stephanie Otecco – Waist length dark brown hair, dark eyes and dark skin, she's quite short but doesn't like to be reminded of it and believes that her height is an advantage.

Anya O'Connor – Typical Irish, short red brown hair, blue eyes and a pale complexion dotted with freckles she's always ready to tell you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.

Antonio Hernandez – Krysanthia's boyfriend, typical Spanish look dark hair dark eyes and tanned skin.

Clark Johnson – Long black hair, blue eyes and pale skin.

Orlando Mitchell – Dark blonde hair, hazel green eyes and a lightly tanned complexion.

Joshua Daniel Hartnett – Brown eyes, brown hair and a pale complexion with a very slight tan.  Lizzie's boyfriend.

Hayden Christianson – Blonde hair, pale blue eyes and a slightly tanned complexion.  Stephanie's boyfriend.

Duncan James – Dark brown hair, grey blue eyes, pom complexion.  Anya's boyfriend.

I think that's about all of them.  I hope you liked that chapter.  Please review.


	14. Last Goodbye

Disclaimer – I do not own Pokemon, if I do by some kind of strange freak accident I then disown the current jhoto season with all the Team Rocket crap.

Claimer – I do however own most of the minor characters, all costume designs (even though their just descriptions of what I have down on paper) and Davison University.  Yay me!

Reasons of the Heart – Lat Goodbye

_Dear Diary,_

_Why dose he have to be so perfect?_

_He's absolutely flawless.  I try so hard to hate him, try to find a flaw in his perfect existence, try to find something there to despise, but it's hopeless.  The harder I try to find something to hate, the more I find to love._

_I try to hate how dense he is, but then I think about how cute he looks whenever he's confused.  I try to hate that goofy grin of his, but then I remember all the times he made me laugh because of it.  I even tried to hate that stupid cap of his that he always wore, but even such a simple thing like that has memories attached to it of the times when I would steal it._

_Memories flow through me as if they were the blood sustaining my life, each one filled with the same love and adoration for the boy with the chocolate brown eyes as the next and even more for the man he has become._

_It seems that the only thing I can hate that has anything to do with him is the fact that I don't hate him, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.  I hate myself for loving him and even more for hating the fact that I do._

_Why did I ever go and do that?  Why did I have to fall in love?  Love is for fools, for people who don't know what they're doing and just let themselves believe in some chemical reaction that's making them feel this way._

_It seems lately that I'm running out of reasons.  Reasons to cry, and more importantly, reasons not to.  Reasons to love, and reasons to hate._

_That can't be right, love isn't supposed to exist.  Love is supposed to be something that you read in fairytales or something we dream about as children as we ride away on a white horse with our arms wrapped around the handsome prince._

_Princes and princesses their not supposed to be in real life, but it seems that even they exist because that's the only description I can find that will ever fit Ash so closely.  He is my Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet to a faraway land where love does exist._

_What am I thinking?  Love isn't real and neither are princes.  And most definitely nobody is perfect, not even Ash Ketchum poster boy of perfection.  To bad I don't believe it, the only flaw I see is his lack of one._

_Love is just one big fat cliché.  It cries, it drowns, it starves, and it bleeds just like every other living organism.  It gives you wings, it plays games, its a flower, it's a crime and it seems fools are the only ones dumb enough to fall for it.  _

_So I guess that's my future.  Doomed to be his fool because that's the price I pay for falling in love.  But that's not problem, I don't care that I'm his fool and I don't regret it not even for a second._

_And that's what has sent my life into this downward spiral._

_You know what? I just don't care anymore.  If love is what makes the world go round, then screw it.  Let the whole world just stop and then maybe it will give my life the chance to stop spinning out of control._

_Who needs eternal happiness anyway?  I'm doing just great without him.  I don't need anyone, not Melody, not my sisters and certainly not him.  So just screw him and most of all, screw love._

Misty looked up as she finished writing the last few words of her entry.  She sighed as she read over everything that she had just written.

It wasn't that she wanted to hate Ash, quite the contrary; she wanted to love him more than anything in the world.  But it wasn't her pride that stopped her; it was her heart.  She didn't understand how something so right could be cause her so much pain that she almost wished it was wrong.

She always thought that if you loved something enough, and you wanted it with all your heart, it would just fall into place almost magically.  Now she realized that it didn't and all the pain she felt as each memory stirred within was just a constant reminder of that little detail that she wished she could forget.

All she wanted to do was just let go.  She wanted to fly away and leave all her worries behind.  To blow a kiss and say goodbye.

(A/N: You may recognize this song from the Irish pop stars.  If so I would just like to say that you really need to revise your choice in music/TV shows)

_Where do I go?_

_What do I do?_

_When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you_

_Now that it's clear _

_There are no more tears for me to cry_

_Now its time that I said my last goodbye_

_People will promise things _

_And swear they'll be true_

_But don't always fool yourself_

_Like all the others do_

_I have been guilty_

_Thinking this was a dream_

_When all of the time_

_It wasn't quite what it seemed_

_Half of my memories belong to you_

_Remember half of your friends are mine_

_Can you tell me?_

_Where do I go?_

_What do I do?_

_When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you_

_Now that it's clear_

_There are no more tears for me to cry_

_Now it's time that I said my last goodbye_

_I said my last goodbye_

_No more tears for me to cry_

_From time to time _

_I hear them whisper your name_

_Just when I think I'm over you_

_It brings it all back again_

_I hope you're happy with the choices you made_

_Your love was a gamble_

_That's the price I paid_

_But half of my heart still wants you back_

_Remember half of your life was mine_

_So won't you tell me?_

_Where do I go?_

_What do I do?_

_When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you_

_Now that it's clear_

_There are no more tears for me to cry_

_Now it's time that I said my last goodbye_

_Where do I go?_

_What do I do?_

_When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you_

_Now that it's clear_

_There are no more tears for me to cry_

_Now it's time that I said my last goodbye_

_I hope you're regretting_

_Letting me go_

_Now its time to say goodbye_

_I've got no more tears to cry_

_There's something that I've got to know_

_Baby_

_Where do I go?_

_What do I do?_

_When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you_

_Now that it's clear_

_There are no more tears for me to cry_

_Now it's time that I said my last goodbye_

_('Last goodbye' Girlthing)_

Ash opened his eyes cautiously hoping that last night wasn't just a cruel dream.  All he needed was just one little thing that could tell him that it really happened, that last night he really had kissed Misty.

Ash dressed quickly and headed downstairs.

"Hey," Parker said as he saw Ash emerge from the stairs.

"Heard you had a good time last night," Brock said smiling to himself.

"Meaning?" Ash asked unable to hide the hope eminent in his voice.

"Shit don't tell me she was drunk again," Brock sighed.  "I thought you guys went to a diner, not a bar."

"It wasn't a dream," ash gaped contently.

"Is that a yes or a no for the drunk thing?" Parker asked.

"She was sober," Ash said smiling to himself.

"Will didn't serve your drinks or anything?" Brock asked cautiously.

"Not that I know of," Ash replied unable to wipe the smile off his face.

"How'd it end?"

Everyone turned to look at Tracey (A/N: Tracey is gay) holding back the laughter that threatened to escape.

"What?" Tracey asked.

And that clinched it.  Within seconds all three guys were practically rolling on the floor as they collapsed into a fit of laughter.  They all knew that Tracey was that way inclined, but did he really have to be so obvious?

"It just ended," Ash shrugged as he finally got control over himself.

"That's a good sign," Tracey told them.  "She didn't push you off which means that she didn't have anything against you kissing her."

"I already knew that," Ash told him.

"And what makes you so sure of that?" Tracey asked defensively.

"Because she kissed me back," Ash replied smiling as he turned and walked out the door.

Misty began her descent to the kitchen after checking the halls twice.  She didn't want to run into any of her sorority sisters and especially not Melody and Sabrina who had suddenly appeared from nowhere at the bottom of the stairs.

_'How do they do that?'_ Misty thought to herself as she searched for a possible escape route realizing quickly that there wasn't one.  She found it rather confusing how whenever she wanted them around they were nowhere to be found and when she wanted to get out of the house without either of them asking her any questions about a certain dark eyed dark-haired Pokemon Master she just couldn't escape them.

"Hey," she said cautiously, "I was just going out," she explained as she walked down.  The two moved closer together blocking her only way out.  "What's up?" Misty asked nervously knowing that the topic of discussion was obvious and that the discussion was going to happen either way and that she may as well get it over and done with sooner rather than later.

"Nothing," Melody said as she and Sabrina each grabbed one of Misty arms and began leading her to the lounge.  "We just wanted to have a little discussion with our best friend," Melody said innocently looking up at her friend.

"You two are way too obvious," Misty replied pulling away and trying to get away.

Melody and Sabrina quickly moved to block her again.

"Please Misty," Sabrina asked pleadingly filling her eyes with fake tears and making her lip quiver.

"You are way too good at this," Misty said as she finally gave in and let her friends lead her to the lounge.  "So what do you want to know?" Misty asked as all three settled into the couch.

"Just one question," Sabrina told her.

Melody nodded.  "What was it like?"

"Is that all . . ." Misty began until she realized that one hundred questions weren't nearly as bad as this one.  They could have asked her anything but no they asked her that.

_'If you have no option but the truth,'_ Misty thought to herself, _'then at least be vague.'_  Misty quickly pulled together a worthy sentence in her mind that answered the question without giving too much away.  _'Be very vague,'_ Misty added silently.

"I've had worse," she replied in a bored tone biting her lip nervously as she tried to hold back the small smile forming on her lips.

"That's all you have to say?" Melody questioned taken aback by Misty's sorry excuse for a response.  Melody gawked as she watched her friend shrug her shoulders nonchalantly.  "I don't believe it," Melody gaped, "the boy you've basically been in love with since the moment you met him kisses you and all you have to say is 'I've had worse'.  I just don't understand it.  You have to have more to say than that."

"She does have a point," Sabrina agreed turning to Misty.

Misty sighed.  "I have had worse," Misty argued immediately receiving two very disbelieving looks from the other girls.  "Like every other kiss leading up to that one perfect kiss," Misty added sheepishly.

I knew it," Melody said proudly jumping from her seat.

"Now please don't start going on about me and Ash being perfect for each other because it didn't mean anything," Misty pleaded with her two best friends.  "It was just one kiss, one really _really _good kiss . . ." Misty trailed off dreamily then shock her head as she tried to push those thoughts out of her mind.  "But it was just a kiss," Misty continued, "not a marriage proposal."

"Misty you're in love with the guy," Sabrina reasoned, "it might as well have been a proclamation of love for all you care and it would still have the same effect.  You hear birds singing, you find the scent of fresh blossoms always hanging in the air, there's a constant smile on your face, racing heart and rosy cheeks.  Your breath catches in the back of your throat and your stomach fills with butterflies just from thinking about him.

"You're in love girl," Sabrina told her softly, "and this time there's no getting out of it."

"Well maybe I don't want to be in love," Misty said angrily as she got up tears welling in her eyes.

"You don't mean that," Sabrina said.

"Yes I do," Misty told her.  "Everyone says that love is like some precious gift that only brings happiness, but they're wrong.  This is love," Misty sobbed, "and nobody realizes just how painful it is, more so than any of you could ever imagine.  I'm just trying to be careful.  I don't want to let him break my heart again." 

With that Misty fell back down to the couch and began to cry into her friends shoulder.

"Your heart understands what your head can not yet even concieve," Melody said quietly her voice just above a whisper.  "Trust your heart, it whispers so you have to listen carefully."

~ to be continued ~

I hope you liked that one.  I just want to apologize to everyone who likes Tracey for making him gay especially if you think he's straight.  I myself just always presumed he was but then I think basically anyone I don't specially like is either gay or bi and that a cartoon character is inadequate (Scott Summers from X-men Evolution had to mention it Krysanthia).

I also want to change one of the minor characters.  Firstly Stephanie is not short as was previously mentioned at the end of the last chapter and her boyfriend is now Jansen Ackles (some dick from dark angle so she so better be happy with that.  I myself would have chose the Star wars guy I don't see how anyone could choose a clone over some way cuter evil tortured soul Jedi person thingy).

Well please review and don't be afraid to say what you think.


	15. These Are The Days

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon, I do however own this story, which is something I must say before someone tries to steal it again.

This slightly rewritten chapter is dedicated to my friend Kris, who loves this song and the guys who sing it.

Reasons of the Heart – These Are The Days

Misty wiped the tears out of her eyes and looked at her two best friends forcing a small smile onto her face.

"Look," she smiled, "all better now."

She forced a smile onto her face as best she could.  It wasn't an easy feat, especially after all the tears she had just cried but somehow she seemed to manage it.

"Do you really think you can fool us that easily?" Melody asked.

"It didn't use to work on him either," Misty sighed.  "But back then I didn't have the option to cry.  You know in the whole time we traveled together he only ever saw me cry twice and one of those were tears of joy and both times I cried because of him."

"And one of those was just before you left," Melody sighed.

"The words barely even mattered," Misty told them more tears threatening to flow from her eyes already red from tears.  "If anyone else had said that to me I would have just hardened my jaw and quickly responded with some kind of nasty comeback.  But it was Ash.  When I saw the pain and fear in his eyes as I announced that I was leaving, I regretted it all.  Every mean word I'd ever said, every time I'd teased him or put him down, every time I'd flicked him or hurt him in anyway.  I wanted to take back every word I'd said and just run into his arms and stay like that forever, but for some reason I couldn't.  It was like I had built up this new wall around my heart and it wouldn't let me take them back.  It made me turn away as he tried to apologize and it still makes me run every time."

"You're going to have to stop running sooner or later because you will eventually run out of place to hide," Sabrina stated, "and now is as good a time as any to let everyone else catch up."

"You and Brock are just too perfect for each other," Misty laughed.

Sabrina shrugged and smiled at the compliment.

"I guess I'll have to start now," Misty told them causing both Melody and Sabrina to smile excitedly, "because we all have an extremely important combined meeting to go to concerning a certain ball and I'm running out of excuses to bail."

"Yes ma'am," Melody and Sabrina said happily getting off their seats and saluting Misty before informing the rest of the sorority.

"So does that mean you're ok now Misty?" Melody asked as she quickly stepped backing into the room.

Misty nodded.  "you know for so long I just wished people would stop asking me if I was ok, because all it did was remind me that I wasn't ok and that I never would be again," she said, her mind on a certain Pokemon trainer.  "But now, it's not quite so bad and I honestly think that I am."

Melody smiled then followed Sabrina's path up the stairs, which led the bedrooms.  Squeals and frantic yells could be heard echoing from room to room and Misty smiled at the normalcy of it all.

Misty walked up to the antique mirror in the hallway hoping that she didn't look like she had just been crying for almost two hours on end.

_'Maybe I can pull the whole heartbroken teen look off,'_ she thought eyeing her self carefully in the mirror and pulling her fingers through her long straight hair nervously.  _'Or maybe not,'_ she added pulling out her trusty compact and fixing up what was left of her light makeup.  She then followed the rest of the sorority to the Alpha Zeta Gamma house.

Motel sitting in the dark 

_Empty room like an empty heart_

_Love will start but they never stay_

_They don't look back as they drive away_

_Maybe I _

_Fix this broken headlight_

_Feeling the cracks and pain arise_

_And maybe love will stop here tonight_

_And if she knocks on my door_

_I'll give her the key_

_Just one look in her eyes_

_and I know I'll be_

_Everything that she sees in me_

_More than I ever thought I could be but_

_These are the days_

_When all that I can do is dream_

_But I don't want to spend forever_

_Living in the in between_

_I'm stuck here in a place without love_

_And I just can't let it stay this way_

_But for now I'm going to have to face it_

_These are the days_

_Got to use this lonely time_

_To change the picture in my frame of mind_

_Outside the window there's a sunny day_

_I want to feel it on my face_

_You and I _

_Are out looking for the same thing_

_And all these walls of wondering_

_Waiting for someone to share this feeling_

_And if she knocks on my door_

_I'll give her the key_

_Just one look in her eyes_

_and I know I'll be_

_Everything that she sees in me_

_More than I ever thought I could be but_

_These are the days_

_When all that I can do is dream_

_But I don't want to spend forever_

_Living in the in between_

_I'm stuck here in a place without love_

_And I just can't let it stay this way_

_But for now I'm going to have to face it_

_These are the days_

_These are the days between your hopes and fears_

_These are the moments that are still locked here_

_There still inside even if she will not hear_

_Like it or not this is what I got_

_Oh cause_

_These are the days_

_When all that I can do is dream_

_But I don't want to spend forever_

_Living in the in between_

_I'm stuck here in a place without love_

_And I just can't let it stay this way_

_But for now I'm going to have to face it_

_These are the days_

_These are the days_

_When all that I can do is dream_

_But I don't want to spend forever_

_Living in the in between_

_I'm stuck here in a place without love_

_And I just can't let it stay this way_

_But for now I'm going to have to face it_

_These are the days_

_(O-town 'These Are The Days')_

Meanwhile  . . . the entire fraternity was racing around the house tidying up and extremely carefully taking down any posters that were sure to offend the girls in every which way possible.

"Why on earth did you go and invite an entire sorority of girls here?" Brock asked.  "Do you not have any sense at all?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Ash replied in his defense as he pulled down one of Brocks more graphic posters.  "I didn't think there would be a problem."

"They all do at first, but they seem to get less and less appealing after thinking about it," Parker sighed to Brock.  "Ash, did you really think that the girls would enjoy an afternoon at a house filled with porno, dirt and grunge music?" Parker asked.

"So maybe it wasn't that good an idea, but would you have rather gone to their place?" Ash asked.

Brock and Parker paused to think for a second.  "Yes," they replied in sync.

"Forget it," Ash sighed exasperatedly.

Ding! Dong!

"Look I'll go stall them in the front hall while you guys finish off getting this place looking presentable," Ash told them as he walked towards the door and swept a few crumbs under the couch.  "Hey," he said as he opened the door.  "Where's Misty?" he asked after a quick scan of the crowd.

"There," the girl who had opened the door to him the other night (AKA Chloe) replied pointing to where she was walking with Melody and Sabrina.

"Well come in," he told them stepping aside.  "So . . ." he said trying to fill the uncomfortable lack of conversation as they walked in the door.

"It's a lot tidier than I thought it would be," Misty stated.

"Did you guys redecorate?" Chloe asked, "because I'm sure there use to be a poster of a . . ."

"Why don't we head for the common room?" Ash suggested cutting Chloe off as he saw Parker give him a thumbs up signal out of the corner of his eye. 

The girls followed Ash.  Misty walked up to his side.

"What do you want to start with?" she asked.

Ash shrugged his shoulders.  "You choose," he told her.

"If you insist," she replied.

"Meeting is now in order," someone called after everyone had taken a seat in the large common room.  Ash and Misty stood at the front of the room.

"Ok," Misty told them, "the first thing we want to address is costumes, yes or no?  All those for."

All the girls in the room put their hands up.  Several guys then followed them after a fleet of disappointed glares and prods from raging girlfriends.

Brock laughed as he watched Melody bully Parker into raising his hand.  Sabrina then leaned over to his ear and whispered something in his ear with her hand on his leg.  She then kissed his neck seductively and moved away.  Brock gulped twice and automatically raised his hand.

_'Some people just need the right incentive,'_ Misty thought as she giggled to herself at the thought of what Sabrina could have said to get such a reaction.  Brock was the second to last vote in a unanimous decision.  All that was left was . . .

"Ash."

Ash turned towards Misty who looked rather amused at how this whole thing was playing out.  Ash looked around the room seeing how the rest of his fraternity had succumb to their powers and swore he wasn't going to go the same way.  

But then she looked at him.  You know, one of those looks that makes your stomach do flip-flops and your heart jump to your throat.  Her head was cocked to the sighed at her eyes pleading with him to do the unthinkable and declare the decision unanimous.  

He didn't want to, he promised himself that he wouldn't, but some how just having her look at him like that made him loose all control and he felt his arm rise on its own.

He could already see the smug smile forming on her perfect face, and he could already feel his heart begin to melt.

He begged himself to turn away before it was too late, begged himself to close his eyes, but he couldn't do that.  He didn't want to look away, she was just too beautiful, too perfect and he felt as though it would hurt much more to turn away then to do what he was about to do next.

"I guess the decisions unanimous," Ash sighed trying to force a tone of regret into his voice.  It wasn't easy, seeing Misty so happy at her victory over him automatically filled him with the same joy, he just didn't want her to know that just yet.

"And to think that you guys out numbered us by three votes, not including Tracey of course," Misty giggled smiling proudly to herself.

"But I thought you said . . ." Ash started to say.

"I guess I made a mistake," she shrugged innocently.  "Now the next matter of business is the theme.  I was thinking 'Dream Couples' which is kind of like the 'Meant for Eachother' theme from 'Never Been Kissed'.  We can hold it in my sisters quad, we can cover the pool with a dance floor, hang some extra lights around and we won't even have to worry about rain because of the glass." 

"Sounds great," several people voiced.

"Well I guess all that's left is a when," Ash told her.

"four weeks today," she told him.

"Why that date?" he asked.

"Because tonight's a full moon," she told him.  "That's about all, so meeting adjourned."

She then began to walk away leaving Ash standing stunned where she left him.

"So how's that going anyway?" Brock asked him chuckling at his own joke.

"I'm working on it," Ash sighed.

"then I suggest you work harder."

_After the amount of time I spent trying to find a philosophy on life I have come to the conclusion that philosophy sucks.  There are only two jobs available to philosophy majors and that's a philosophy professor and that old guy working at burger king._

_I guess that my only thoughts on life are that there isn't any thought to it, life just happens and that's that.  When it stops is stops, no return to go, no second chance, just the end you're dead and there's no way out of it._

_I know that probably isn't the most uplifting and thought provoking philosophy but hey, it'll have to do._

_Misty always use to have just the right saying for every situation, like a quip or a quote or the perfect anecdote that would leave you wondering about it hours on end._

_You know, I almost thought I had run out of things to say about Misty.  Just when I thought there was nothing left to say, that I had said all I could possibly say about her there's just something there._

_I guess its like the saying goes, to love her, is to know her and I know her more than anyone else in this world, maybe even more than I know myself.  Not that I'm complaining because to love her is pure and utter ecstacy._

_Misty._

_Even her name is full of beauty.  It rolls soothingly off your tongue savouring each sound.  You can almost taste it as it flows off the tip of your tongue._

_Sometimes I don't know what she could ever see in me.  She's like some kind of heavenly angel and I'm just a lowly Pokemon Master who is only a few self-inflicted wounds and some freaky leprechan from being a crazy skitzaphrenic stalker._

_What use is a drunken decree when she wasn't even sober enough to remember it?_

_But its all I've got except a few sworn promises from Brock that she feels exactly the same way I feel about her which don't really count because I'm pretty sure that Brock was almost as pissed off his head as Misty when he told me that, all three times!  So really its all I've got, and damn anyone that wants to try and take that away from me because there's no way in hell that I'm letting go of what little hope I have left._

_Love is the hardest concept to understand in the entire history and future of earth._

_Sometimes it feels like it's the only thing keeping me alive, others I feel like I want to kill myself because of it.  Sometimes it feels like love is just some tiny wire and I'm going to fall off any moment, others I'm on top of the world and I know I could just stay like that forever. _

_It's the most unstable thing on this planet, and sometimes the only thing that you can really be sure of.  At times, it make your life a living hell and turns the whole thing upside down, at others it's the only thing that makes sense._

_But when you're **in** love, none of that seems to matter.  You take the good times with the bad and somehow the bad don't seem that bad, they don't even seem to exist.  When you're in love its all good and the bad barely register in your mind._

_Its only when the love has gone that you realize just how terrible it all was and the bad seem so much worse than they really were.  That's when the cliff gets that much taller, and the wire that much longer.  That's when the flame starts to burn and the fools seems few and far between._

_Right now, I'm somewhere in between where the bad still exist and the good are almost over powering.  _

_I'm in a place full of broken picture frames and mended hearts.  I'm in a place full of wordless love songs and sleepless lullabies.  It's a place where it's all so close I could reach out and touch her, but I'm too afraid to even try._

_There are worse places to be, but I miss not ever having to worry about the bad. _

_I just want Misty back.  Just to hold her in my arms for a second more.  I know that if I had that chance I could die tomorrow and I know that I would die happy._

_Misty is true happiness to me, and I can't think of anything that could change that._

_So maybe I am a fool, maybe I'm the worlds greatest moron, but I guess that love is everything they say it is and more and the only way to see that is in between, right where I am until I can find a way to show Misty just how much I care, and just how much I love her.  And that's where I'll be until I know for sure that she loves me too._

_That's when I'll have finally found what I'm looking for, that's when I will have my true and perfect happiness._

~ to be continued ~

I know I only made a few minor changes other than the song, but I was listening to this song and thinking about how perfect it would be for this chapter.

I hope you liked it anyway and please review.


	16. Hanging by a Moment

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.  I also don't own Melissa and Will, I kind of stole them from Sweet Vally Senior's because I don't like them because they're always mean to Jessica and she has the same name as me.

Claimer – I own all the other minor characters (except maybe Tracey depending whether you consider him minor or not).  You hear that Stephanie, Kris, I own you. 

Reasons of the Heart – Hanging by a Moment

Ash looked out the window dejectedly.

_'What a day to be sick,'_ he thought to himself upon seeing one of the nicest days since the new semester began.

Students were lounging about outside on the grass listening to music and working on their tans.  They acted like it was summer all over again paying no attention to the fallen leaves that were strewn across the ground around them.

It was just the sort of day Ash loved.  It was the sort of day when he would battle in the middle of the courtyard, or play baseball with the guys, or just relax under the closest tree thinking about Misty.

And there was that name again.  It was inescapable; he could barely go a minute, let alone five, without hearing her name echoing through the crevasses of his brain.  He could see her face everywhere he looked and everywhere he didn't look.  Her image danced through his head continuously capturing his imagination.  But he didn't care, Misty could consume every thought in his being (not that she didn't) and he just wouldn't care.  He couldn't do a thing about it, and he didn't want to.

_'Temporary insanity,'_ he reasoned with himself jokingly, knowing that temporary insanity was more like 9 minutes and definitely not 9 month, or basically 9 years for that matter

But then he didn't even buy temporary insanity as a murder excuse.  To him, temporary insanity was breaking into someone's house and ironing all his or her clothes for hours on end, this was a whole new ball game.

_'I'm sure it's some form of insanity,'_ he told himself.  _'I bet Misty could even tell me the name for it.'_  He sighed contently as an image of her flowed through his brain.

_'But Misty believed in love,'_ he argued with himself.  _'Misty was always telling me that love was more than a state of mind, coming up with the clichés, sighing happily as she watched the perfect sunset of purple and orange spread gracefully across the sky.  Misty was skeptic of everything, and love was one of the few things she believed in and until I met her, love was one of the few things I didn't believe in.'_

"Why did it have to be you?" he asked the picture of a thirteen-year-old girl with red hair and aquamarine eyes staring back at him from the silver frame in his hands.

It could have been anyone.  They all knew he had plenty of offers, some of them he was even too dense to notice unless someone pointed it out to him.  But he ignored all of them instead turning to his side where Misty had always stood beside him.

Then one day, he turned and she wasn't there.  He never really realized just to what extent he loved her until she wasn't there, until she was gone. 

_'But you never do,'_ he thought to himself sadly.  _'Not until its too late.  I thought I could live without her, that she was just a girl, but I always knew, deep down that the only person I was fooling was myself.  I've always known that Misty isn't just some ordinary girl.  Maybe that's one of the reasons that I love her . . . not that I need anymore.'_

Ash sighed again.  Maybe today wasn't a total waste.

_Desperate for changing_

_Starving for truth_

_I'm closer to where I started_

_I'm chasing after you_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_Forgetting al I'm lacking _

_Completely incomplete_

_I'll take your invitation_

_You take all of me now_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know_

_I'm running and I question where to go_

_And I don't know what I'm tapping into_

_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_There's nothing else to lose_

_There's nothing else to find_

_There's nothing in this world_

_That could change my mind_

_There is nothing else_

_There is nothing else_

_There is nothing else_

_Desperate for changing_

_Starving for truth_

_I'm closer to where I started_

_I'm chasing after you_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know_

_I'm running and I question where to go_

_And I don't know what I'm tapping into _

_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_Just hanging by a moment_

_Hanging by a moment_

_Hanging by a moment_

_Hanging by a moment here with you_

_(Life House 'Hanging by a moment)_

Misty's hand hung inches above the phone on her dresser as she battled the pros and cons of the phone call she was threatening to make.

_'Maybe I should just go,'_ she reasoned with herself as she pulled her hand away from the phone.  _'I'd have to sooner or later.  Its just a stupid meeting anyway, nothing special.'_

_'Liar, liar, pants on fire,'_ the voice in her head argued.  _'Its way more than that, and you know it.  Liar.'_

_'So I should cancel,'_ she told herself.  _'Its too weird as it is.  I'll just figure it out by myself.'_  She reached for the phone but stopped suddenly her hand hovering just above the phone.

"I give up," she sighed to herself dropping her hand back to her side in frustration. 

She got up and started going through her draws searching for something to wear.  She needed something casual; she didn't want to look like she had spent hours getting ready.  But still, she had to look presentable, this wasn't just some guy she'd picked off the streets, it was Ash and his opinion meant more to her than he would ever know.

Jeans was the obvious choice but she'd worn jeans last times so that ruined that plan.  She finally settled on a patchwork denim skirt and a long-sleeve red-checkered shirt thrown over a black singlet.  She wore a silver chain around her neck with an obelisk of rose quartz hanging from it and she wore her favorite strappy sandals on her feet.  She pulled her hair into a ponytail before making her way downstairs.

"Where are you off to?" Melody asked coyly from the kitchen.

"Meeting," Misty called back as she went out the door.

She headed to off campus to the ice-cream parlor they'd agreed to meet at.

_'Time to get up,'_ Ash encouraged himself, trying to get his aching joints to agree with his proposition.  

It seemed throughout the day he had only got worse and that nothing seemed to be working.   His head felt like someone was attacking it with a sledgehammer.  His stomach felt like it was trying to eat and regurgitate itself at the exact same time.  His nose felt like it had been stuffed with a couple of thousand pairs of tube socks and he didn't even want to find out how he looked.

He felt sick all over and all he wanted to do was lie in bed for a few minutes more.  

But he knew he couldn't.  She was waiting for him, and he didn't want to let her down by being late.

So he tried to coax himself out of bed.  He reminded his body how important it was and tried again.  Her face flashed before his eyes and suddenly he felt just that little bit better, his newfound strength letting him escape from bed.

He inched around the room slowly as he got ready.  He avoided looking in any mirrors knowing it would only disgruntle him further and put him off going all together.  He just needed to see her, to look into her eyes and he knew he would feel better.

The problem was getting there.  He felt too sick to walk, and driving was out of the question thanks to his supposed non-drowsy flu medication.  He would have to ask one of the guys to take him.  It wasn't that far and he would find it easier on the way back.

Ash grabbed his wallet off the floor and shoved it into his back pocket as he went out the door.  He made his way cautiously down the stairs pausing to le the room stop spinning.

"Non-drowsy my ass," he muttered to himself as he finally made it to the bottom of the stairs.

"Our fearless leader finally rises," Brock called jokingly from the kitchen.

"You should be in bed still," Tracey told him as he carried a couple of brown paper bags to the kitchen.  "You don't look good."

"That's nice," Ash told him groggily.

"You hungry?" Brock asked.  "I'm making my five star chili."

Ash shook his head.  "I have to go somewhere," he said his hand going to his head as he felt the impact of his own voice.

"I think Tracey's right," Parker said as he suddenly appeared from the lounge.  "You should really go back to bed."

"All I need is someone to take me to the ice-cream parlor, I know I'll be alright as soon as I get there," Ash told them.

"I'm not going to be responsible for you getting pneumonia," Brock said holding his hands up in resistance.  "I don't know what Sabrina might do to me, and I don't even want to think about what Misty would do."

"How 'bout you Tracey?" Ash asked.

"No way," Tracey replied.

Ash looked to Parker.  "Look, I'm supposed to meet Misty there," he told them.

"Don't look at me," Parker said.  "do you know how much shit I'd be in if I let you get Misty as sick as you are?  See that's three sisters, Melody and probably Sabrina as well as the rest of her sorority, not to mention you as soon as you realize what a bad idea this is."

"I have a meeting," Ash pleaded.

"Cancel it," Tracey told him.  "She'll understand.  You go lie down on the couch and we'll go call Misty and let her know you won't be able to come."

"I don't want to let her down," Ash told them.

"You won't be," Parker replied.  "Just postponing."

Ash sighed exasperatedly.  "I'll be in the lounge."

"You ring her," Brock said holding out the phone to Parker as soon as Ash was out of hearing range.

"You call her," Parker said shoving it towards Brock.

"Why me?" Brock asked.

"Because you've known her longer," Parker reasoned.

"Which is why I know better," Brock told him.  "Anyway," he added, "she's your sister-in-law's sister.  You guys are practically family."

"Your closer," Parker said.

Tracey sighed.  "Why don't you just flip a coin?" he suggested.

Brock pulled a coin from his pocket.  "You call."

"Heads," Parker said.

Brock flipped the coin into the air and caught it slapping on his hand.  "Damn," he cried out as he saw the shiny heads side gleaming back at him.  "Best of three?" he suggested.

"No way," Parker said defiantly.  "I won fair and square," he said handing the phone back to Brock.

Brock quickly dialed the number of the sorority.

"Hello," Sabrina said as she picked up the phone.

"Hey Sabs," Brock said.

"Hey sweetie," she replied.  "What's up?"

"Why must you always presume that whenever I call you its because I want something?" he asked his voice full of mock defensiveness.

"Because it always is," she replied.  "So how can I help you?"

"Do you think you could get Misty for me?" he asked hopefully.

"What for?" Sabrina asked suspiciously.

"She's supposed to be meeting Ash somewhere but he's really sick right now and can't make it," Brock explained.

"Ok, just a sec I'll go find her."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line as Sabrina searched the house for her friend.

"Misty's not here," Sabrina said as she returned.  "Sorry."

"It's ok," he replied.  "Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Maybe," she replied teasingly.

"I'll see you then," he said before hanging up.

"What?" he asked as he saw Tracey and Parker laughing at him.

"I was just demonstrating to Tracey why the speaker phone was such a brilliant invention," Parker replied.  "you know you always looked more of a muffin to me."

Brock blushed.

"so should we tell Ash that Misty's waiting for him?" Parker asked.

"I think he's asleep," Tracey replied quietly after taking a peek in at Ash.

"let's just let him rest, we'll tell him when he wakes up," Brock suggested.

"He's earned it," Tracey commented.

Misty sat waiting in an almost empty icecream parlor picking at her icecream sundae.

"Are you ok?" a jolly looking man at the counter asked.  "You've been nursing at that thing for an hour."

She sighed.  "I was supposed to meet a friend here," she told him.

"Well than I'm sorry to say Miss," the man told her, "but it looks like this friend of yours has stood you up.'

"I've been thinking the same thing for the past hour," she sighed.  "good night," she said as she picked up her things and started heading back to campus.

She'd barely been walking for a minute when it started to poor down with rain.

_'I'm going to kill that boy,'_ she thought to herself as she started taking long angry strides towards the frat house.  _'And then I'm going to make him wish he were dead.'_

The rain was hard and stung her skin.  Her once tidy hair looked even redder than usual as it hung limply around her face in long wet tendrils.  Her clothes were drenched right through, and she was just glad she had decided against wearing the white shirt.

There was no doubting it.

Misty was angry, and Ash was going to find out just how angry the hard way.

"nobody, but nobody stands up Misty Waterflower," she muttered angrily.

~ to be continued ~

This is a change from my usual chapters.  Misty's on a mad rampage and Ash is lying on the couch with the flu.  This should be one hell of a meeting.

Please review and I'll try to make the next chapter a bit longer.


	17. Buses and Trains

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

I realized as I put the last chapter up that I forgot to say that the full moon has no real significance in this story, I just think that its romantic and there for so does Misty.  I also noticed that I haven't thanked you guys for all the reviews in ages, so thanks for all of them especially seeing as I've only gotten one flame.

Reasons of the Heart – Buses and Trains

_Misty walked cautiously through the forest.  She froze at every sound and jumped at every shadow.  She hated this more than anything else in the world.  She hated being alone._

_She stiffened as she felt a powerful arm wrap around her waist.  She sighed contently, relaxing into the sweet sensation of his muscular body next to hers._

_"Don't worry Myst," he whispered almost seductively.  "I'll protect you."_

She shivered contently feeling his warm breath tickle the back of her neck softly.  She loved the feeling she got from being in his arms, even if it was only for a second.  It was like suddenly she was whisked away to a perfect world and everything bad just faded away into nothingness.  It just felt right.

_"I know," she told him turning her head so she could smile up at him._

'That's what scares me'_ she thought to herself._

_Suddenly, Misty felt her foot catch on something.  She closed her eyes waiting to feel the impact as her body fell to the ground, but it never came._

_She opened her eyes cautiously only to be met by his beautiful and worried chocolate brown._

_"Are you ok?" he asked as he lifted her up to face him._

_She nodded dumbly.  She couldn't draw herself away from those chocolate brown eyes no matter how she tried to.  They were so close, their bodies pulled against each other, she was afraid he would hear her pulse echoing through the silent night.  _

_"Misty, I . . ." he stuttered looking into her blue green eyes as though he could see all the way into forever just from one look.  "I love you," he told her finally finding the courage to speak._

_"No Ash, you can't," she said turning away from him before he could see the tears welling in her eyes.  Ash moved to her side quickly putting a comforting arm around her shoulder._

_"But I do," he told her a slight urgency eminent in his voice, slightly confused by her reaction.  He had expected many things, rejection mostly, but his was something else._

_She squeezed the tears from her eyes.  "No you don't," she said defiantly as she turned around.  "You can't, you just can't."  With that she lowered herself to the ground and wrapped her arms around her legs as she tried to hold back fresh tears._

_Ash kneeled down on the ground in front of her trying to get her to look him in the eye.  Tears flowed freely down her face as she had given up trying to hold them back.  "Why can't I love you?" he asked her gently._

_"Because," she whispered finally looking up at him, her aquamarine eyes filled with tears.  "Because, then that would mean that I love you."_

_Hey ma! Why didn't you tell me?_

_Why didn't you teach me a thing or two?_

_Did you just let me go, out into the world?_

_You never thought to share what you knew_

_So I walked under a bus_

_I got hit by a train_

_Keep falling in love_

_Which is kind of the same_

_I sunk out at sea_

_Lost my care gone insane_

_But it felt so good I wanna do it again_

_Hey ma! Why didn't you warn me?_

_Cause I thought boys were something I should have known_

_They're like chocolate cake_

_Like cigarettes_

_I know their bad for me but I just can't leave them alone_

_So I walked under a bus_

_I got hit by a train_

_Keep falling in love_

_Which is kind of the same_

_I sunk out at sea_

_Lost my car gone insane_

_But it felt so good I wanna do it again_

_Hey ma! Since were talking_

_What was it like when you were young?_

_Has the world changed, or is it still the same?_

_A man can kill and still be the sweetest thing_

_So I walked under a bus_

_I got hit by a train_

_Keep falling in love_

_Which is kind of the same_

_I sunk out at sea_

_Lost my car gone insane_

_But it felt so good I wanna do it again_

_So I walked under a bus_

_I got hit by a train_

_Keep falling in love_

_Which is kind of the same_

_I sunk out at sea_

_Lost my car gone insane_

_But it felt so good I wanna do it again_

_('Buses and Trains' Bachelor Girl)_

The heavy patter of rain hitting the roof awaked Ash.

It was strange.  It seemed like only a few hours ago the sun had been shinning brightly.  The whether had been perfect.  But now the sky was grayer than a London morning and everything about it looked angry and foreboding.

Ash was actually glad that his friends had convinced him not to go.  After a few hours rest and some time to think about it he finally understood why it was such a bad idea.

The pouring rain did however have a huge impact.  He was glad that he and Misty weren't caught in that and more importantly that she was sitting safely in her room out of the terrible whether.

A loud clap of thunder sounded followed quickly by a flash of lightning only making Ash more certain that he had made the right decision.

Misty pounded on the door angrily as she waited for one of his fellow frat brothers to answer the door.  She couldn't wait to see his face.

_'I can't believe I fell for a jerk like him,'_ she thought angrily.  _'I can't believe that I fell in love with him all over again.  I can't believe I let Melody and Sabrina convince me into giving him another chance.  He's had more than his fair share of second chances and there is no way he's getting out of this one alive.'_

"Misty," Brock gaped astonished as he opened the door.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Let me explain . . ." Brock started.

"Where is he?" she asked again cutting Brock off.

Brock cowered behind the door.  "I don't know," he stuttered.

"Don't play dumb with me Slate, I know he's in there and you're only delaying the inevitable by not telling me where he is," she said threateningly taking a step forward.

Brock cowered further behind the door.  He could almost see flames burning in her eyes and her hair seemed unnaturally red.  He nervously pointed towards the living room where Ash was.

Misty stalked away in that direction without even giving Brock a second thought.

_'He stood me up to watch TV,'_ she thought angrily as she watched the boy flip channels.  _'He better have one hell of an excuse.'_

Misty angrily stepped in front of the TV.  From one look at Ash her eyes softened and the fire dulled to a tiny insignificant flame.

"Misty," Ash said only able to hide the happiness in his voice by the sickness, which caused his voice to strain.  "What are you doing here?"

"You look terrible," she told him gently.

He smiled at her.  "If its any consolation, I feel terrible too and you're not the first person to notice that," he mused.  "But what about you? you're soaked.  I'll go get you a towel."

Misty smiled sheepishly as she realized what he meant and began to shiver noticeably.  In her anger she had barely even noticed the pouring rain and the fact that she was freezing cold.

"And a blanket," he added with a smile.

"I'm ok really," she told him.

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" he asked as he came back with a towel and a couple of blankets.  "You can never accept help from anyone."

"I can to," she said taking the blanket and towel from him just to prove her point.  "Anyway," she added, "you're not one to talk.  You have got to be the most stubborn person I know."

"Well that must make you more stubborn because you have got to be the most stubborn person I know," he replied.

"And how exactly does that work if I'm the most stubborn person you know and you're the most stubborn person I know and I know me?" she asked.

Ash's look was one full of confusion.  "Let's just say were even?" he suggested.

"No way," Misty said defiantly.  "I'm far more stubborn than you are."  She smiled with satisfaction.  "So why are you looking after me when you're the one that looks like _The_ _Night of the Living Dead_, _Dracula_ and _Frankenstein_ all rolled into one."

"I take it that's a good thing," he said hopefully.  She shook her head.

"Lie down," she told him.

"I'll be alright," he said sitting back down on the couch so that Misty wouldn't realize how dizzy he felt.

"Now who's being stubborn?" she asked as she placed the back of her hand against his forehead.  "I'll be right back," she told him as she headed to the kitchen.

"Why am I doing this?" she muttered to herself as she hustled around the kitchen gathering ingredients.

"Misty please don't tell me you're making soup a la Ash," Brock begged.

"No, I'm making Ash soup," she told him.

"That's just as bad," Brock cried.

"Forget it Brock, can you just pass me that pepper?" she sighed.

"Ash used to love pepper in his soup," Brock sobbed.

"I guessed that he still does."

"Not anymore, you cut him into little pieces and threw him into a stew pot."

Just at that moment Ash decided to walk out into the kitchen.

"You're alive," Brock cried happily wrapping Ash in a hug.

Ash gave Misty a sort of 'what-the-hell' look over Brocks shoulder.

"Don't ask," she mouthed in response.  "I thought I told you to lie down," she said.

"But it smelt so good," he offered smiling goofily at her.

Misty knew she couldn't resist that smile.  Ash never realized what power it had over her or what he could make her do from just one flash of his puppy like brown eyes.

She sighed.  "Go sit down, it's almost done," she replied.

"Am I missing something?" Brock asked as soon as Ash was out of the room.  "I thought you came here to yell at Ash and basically kill him, not to make him soup and play nurse."

"You have twisted mind," Misty said as she poured Ash a bowl of soup.  She knew that Brocks sick mind meant that 'playing nurse' as he put it so foundly, was not a good thing.  "You want some?" she asked.

"Sure," Brock said.  "So what changed your mind?" Brock continued from the previous conversation.

"Nothing," she sighed exasperatedly.  "I just realized that I was being hasty and when I saw how sick he was I understood that it wasn't his fault."

"You don't fool me Misty," Brock told her.  "When you trudged through that door you looked just about ready to kill the first man you came upon.  You called me 'Slate'.  That was beyond hasty, and you've never been one for admitting your faults."

"Then I have one less fault to admit to," she said smugly as she grabbed the bowls and took them through to the dining room.  "Here you go," she said cheerfully as she placed a bowl in front of Ash.

Ash slurped up a big spoon of soup.  "Tastes great Myst," he told her.

"The Ash Ketchum seal of approval," Brock mused.  "Must be edible.

"Tastes just like my mom's," Ash commented.

"It should," Misty replied taking delicate sips of her own soup, "its her recipe."

"You know you never told me why you're here," Ash said in between mouthfuls of soup.

"Lets just say that I spent an hour waiting for you at the ice cream parlor before I finally gave up," she told him.

"But Brock and Parker said that they'd call you just before I nodded off."

"They didn't," Misty replied turning to Brock waiting for an answer.

"I can explain that," Brock said.  "See when we called you had already left."

"And none of you thought to, I don't know, go and get me?" she asked.

"Well no," Brock replied.  "Anyway we didn't know where you were, Ash never told us, he was fast asleep and you know as well as I do that nothing can wake Ash up."

"Do I ever," she replied.

"So," Ash piped up upon finishing his soup, "so should we get straight to business."  He motioned for Brock to leave by cocking his head to the side while Misty wasn't looking.

Brock nodded affirming he got the message.  "I'll leave you guys alone, I've got a paper due," he lied winking at Ash.

"Oh," Misty stuttered, "good luck on that."

Brock nodded and left the room smiling happily to himself.  _'Looks like things are finally working out for those two,'_ he thought.

"You know maybe we should hold this off until you're better?" she suggested looking at him nervously trying her best not to make eye contact.  She was afraid if she looked into his eyes, that he would look into hers and be able to read everything she felt deep inside underneath the pain and heartache.  All he would see would be the love and adoration shining through.

The whole idea of not meeting his eyes reminded her so much of the times when they were younger and she would avoid his eyes at all costs.  She remembered the times when they were traveling together and every once and awhile she would sneak a glance in his direction all the time secretly hoping that he was looking too.

He looked at her and smiled across the table.  "Well it just so happens that I'm feeling better already," he told her.  "Come on," he said as he got up taking her hand and leading her back to the lounge.

"So," he said as he settled down on the couch and Misty sat in an armchair across from him.

"I got the quad booked," she told him.

"Did you remember to make sure the moon knew he's supposed to be full that night?" he asked jokingly.

"Funny Ash," she said mockingly holding back laughter.  Ash could always make her laugh, no matter what he did, even if it wasn't the slightest bit funny she always felt like she would just collapse into a fit of giggles if she wasn't careful.  He was just too cute for words.

"C'mon, you've got to have better than that," he replied defensively.

"Sorry, I don't prey on the weak and suffering anymore," she said with a smile.

"Aw Myst," he sighed jokingly his hand on his heart, "that really hurt."

She smiled.  "Be serious now," she said warningly.  "We have a lot of work to get through in just over three weeks and we haven't even finished planning exactly what we have to do."

"Sorry Myst," he said reverting to his a serious tone.  "No more jokes, Pokemon Masters honor."  He held up his three fingers and gave her a Cub Scout salute.

"Why do I go through with this?" she sighed her voice already losing its serious tone as she let out a soft giggle.

~ 2 hours later ~

"I think that's it," Misty sighed looking up from her paper.  

Her eyes rested on the sleeping Ash.  He had his pen in his hand and his pad had fallen to the floor.  He was laying on his side his mouth slightly open.

Misty tried not to stare.  He looked so amazing and cute when he slept.  He looked so innocent, like the ten-year-old boy she fished out of the river.  It was hard to draw herself away from him as she felt herself drifting into a trance.

But she did.

"I guess he wasn't feeling as good as he thought," she mused to herself.

She leaned forward and lightly kissed his forehead just as she had before.  She smiled down at him as she grabbed her bag from the floor beside him.

"Sweet dreams my prince," she whispered as she gave him a quick and gentle kiss on the lips before pulling a blanket over his sleeping figure and headed back to her dorm.

"I love you, Misty," he whispered in his sleep.

~ to be continued ~

And you all thought that I was going to kill Ash off.  If I did that I wouldn't have a story now would I?

I hope you liked that chapter, please review.  Ten will do.


	18. Mirror Mirror

Disclaimer – I do not own Pokemon so please don't sue me, the legal battle isn't worth it cause you'll be lucky if you get a few CD's and maybe a couple hundred New Zealand dollars which by the way are only worth about 66BP and I think somewhere close to $100US.  Doesn't seem like such a flash idea anymore does it. 

To the Duke of Fenwick – Sorry its just an ordinary moon, and sorry about the salute thing but I was a Brownie and ours was the three finger but Ash is a guy and that would be disturbing if I put Brownie Salute so I guessed that they were all three fingers.

Thanks again for all the reviews.

Reasons of the Heart – Mirror Mirror

_'Ok Misty,'_ she thought to herself.  _'Breathe.  Just breathe.  Think calm thoughts and no matter what you do, do not panic.  Just don't panic.'_

Misty smiled to herself as she closed her eyes and calmly took a relaxing breath.

_'I'm not panicking,'_ she thought happily to herself.  Suddenly her eyes shot open and her breath began to come out in short, strained gasps.  _'Ok I'm panicking,'_ she thought to herself as she tried to control the onset of a hyperventilating attack.  _'I have to get this down on paper.'_

She pulled out her trusty leather bound diary, the one with the intricate gold writing on the cover and began to get all the confusing thoughts spinning through her head on paper.

_Ok diary, it seems that in times like these you've always been the one person (I mean you're not really a person but you know what I mean) I've been able to tell everything I'm feeling to.  It seems at times this is the only way that I can put my thoughts into order, to put them on paper, and this is one time that I really need to do that._

_I must have heard him wrong, simple as that.  I mean, how could he ever possibly feel that way about me, all I've ever done is yelled at him, and teased him and insulted him, how could he possibly think anything like that about me.  Why would he feel that way about me of all people?_

_Because we were best friends for four years and we've been through everything together and because that's exactly how I've felt about him since I was like twelve years old._

_Cancel that, I **must** have misheard him.  I had to have, I mean, I was so faraway and he was whispering and I was so tired (I'm wide awake now though thanks to his little insight) it probably just sounded like it.  I mean there are plenty of things he could have said. _

_Maybe he said, "Will you kiss me."  Ok just as bad.  How about "I love you . . . Kristy." Like that makes me feel any better.  Great now he's in love with another girl, just brilliant.  Maybe "You're crazy Misty."  Arghh, that doesn't even rhyme for goodness sake.  "I hope you miss me?" _

_I give up._

_Ok hypothetically speaking lets say that I did hear him right, that he actually said the three words that I've been dreaming of hearing him say for the past eight or so years.  And lets say hypothetically speaking that he really did say my name straight after those three magnificent words and that he really meant it._

_What am I thinking? He was fast asleep.  He was beyond sleep, I should know I've seen Ash sleep nothing can wake him up until he's good and ready for it, he was practically dead.  I mean I know the subconscious does portray our deepest darkest desires but maybe he was being controlled by some evil thing that likes to play with girls hearts and likes to make them think that the one guy they care about more than anything else in the world loves them even half as much as they love them._

_Forget it.  That has got to be the most psychopathically strange thing I've ever heard in my entire life.  And to think I wrote it.  So lets just go back to the whole hypothetical thing and lets hypothetically say that he meant it, that it was his subconscious telling me exactly how he feels about me and its not just some other chick with the same name, blah blah blah.  Ok let's say that he means me, and that he loves me, what exactly do I do about it?_

_Do I just walk straight up to him and say, "Hey Ash, did you know that you talk in your sleep?  By the way I love you too."  Or should I just avoid eye contact for the next week and hope that he doesn't notice, and he probably won't because I usually go to a considerable amount of effort not to look him in the eye anyway because I find it too hard to look away._

_Why does he have to be so incredibly cute?  I mean if he wasn't so adorable I could just ignore him and I wouldn't be drawn to look at him, and half the school wouldn't be in love with him and I wouldn't spend half my days stewing with jealousy.  And what about those eyes?  Why do they have to be that extraordinarily idyllic shade of chocolate brown that just melts your heart in a second?  Damn you Ash (A/N: I haven't had one of those in a while now have I)._

_Does it change things?  Yet another unanswerable question, I mean really what exactly does it mean?  Does it mean that I should put everything that happened in the past behind me and run into his arms on the chance that I actually heard correctly and it isn't really a girl called Missy?  Does it mean that he's felt the same way the whole time that we traveled together and the years we were apart and now, and that all those times that he sent me letters and won all those battles and everything that he ever did for me and I just tried to ignore the significance of them trying not to build my hopes to high, that he was just doing it all to impress me and to get me back into his life because he can't stand life without me in it?  (A/N:  **YES!!!!!!!!**)Whatever Misty, get over yourself._

_But what about all the other stuff?  Like all the times he saved me, what do they mean?  Maybe they're all just part of his superman complex, he couldn't help it.  I mean what sort of guy would he be if he just stood there and watch his best friend . . . I mean his previously best friend, cling for her life to a diving board at least 25meters above ground.  But what was he doing there anyway?_

_Great, not only is he cute and funny and devilishly handsome he's also the sweetest guy in the world.  Why can't he be a sexist pig like Will Fox who likes to get girls wasted so he can screw them even though he has a girlfriend?  Simpe, because he's Ash, and I love him so much that even if he has flaws I see right past them and all I can see are the good qualities._

_This isn't helping at all.  I need to talk to someone objective, someone who will agree with me._

Misty shut the book and walked over to the phone sighing as she dialed a familiar number.

"Hello," she said.

"Like hi, Misty," Lilly said as she appeared on the screen of the videophone.  It was about 5 am Cerulean time and Lilly looked more alert than Misty felt.

"Did I wake you?" Misty asked her.

"Dose that even matter?" Lilly replied.  "I mean, like, what kind of sister would I be if I didn't wake up to listen to my baby sisters boy troubles?"

"But I didn't . . ." Misty started.

"Hold that thought, I'm just going to go and, like, wake Daisy up," Lilly told her.  "Be right back."

Misty gaped on the other end totally amazed by Lilly.  She had never really thought of her sisters as the attentive type.  It seemed that these days her sisters were surprising her more and more often than usual.  And for once they were good surprises.

"Ok, were like back," Lilly said happily.

"So like tell us what he did," Daisy insisted rather animatedly for someone who had just got out of bed.

"What who did?" Misty asked pretending not to know exactly whom they were talking about no matter how obvious it was.  

"Don't play dumb with us missy," Lilly said angrily, "we're better at it."

Misty laughed.  "Ok, you know how for the dance I have to work with Ash?" she asked.

"No, but like continue anyways," Daisy told her.

Misty sighed.  "Well I was supposed to meet Ash at the ice cream parlor and . . ." Misty began to say.

"Oh my gosh, he like stood you up," Daisy gaped.  "We just like have to do something about this."

"Let me finish," Misty said exasperatedly.  "He wasn't there because he was sick."

"Poor thing," Lilly said interrupting Misty.  "Is he like feeling any better?"

"I guess," Misty said.  It was strange how even her sisters could go from wanting to kill Ash one minute and feeling nothing but sympathy the next.  "I went over to the frat house because he wasn't there and I didn't know any better.  We then had the meeting at his place and by the end he was asleep."

"So he fell asleep on you, like big deal Misty," Lilly said.  "We thought you were like going to tell us that he told you he loved you."

"He did tell me he loved me," Misty practically yelled at them.

"Oh my gosh, like, really?" Daisy asked.

"If you had just let me continue I would have told you that I heard him say it in his sleep," Misty said angrily trying hard to control her temper.

 "Really?  That's great," Lilly cried happily.

"Well at least that's what I think he said," Misty sighed.

"What do you mean?" Daisy asked.

"Well, I was tired and he was sleeping, and I was practically out of them room and he was speaking that clearly . . ." Misty said trailing off and sighing to herself.  Despite how complicated it made things, she wanted it to be true, she wanted to know that Ash loved her even a fraction as much as she loved him.

"What makes you think that he wouldn't love you?" Lilly asked.  She and Daisy knew that he did, they'd had enough chances to see that.  Even when they were younger it was so blatantly obvious the way they flirted subtly with each other every chance they got.  It seemed that they only people that didn't already know where them and that was going to change eventually.

"Because," Misty sighed trying to convince herself just as much as she was her sisters.  "Because all I ever do its insult him and push him away just like everyone else.  Maybe because I'm ugly and mean and stubborn and selfish.  Because there are thousands of girls throwing themselves at him and he could pick any one of those, why would he pick me over girls like Melissa Simmons?"

"Misty," Lilly said comfortingly wishing she could be there.  They may tease her and practically made her childhood a living hell, but deep down they really did love her.  "You're not ugly, or any of those other things, you just like protect yourself.  Once someone gets to know you they see the sweet caring Misty who would do anything for her friends.  That's whom Ash fell in love with.  He fell for the sweet tomboy who always cheered him on in the crowds and was always there by his side through thick and thin.  He knows that you're pretty and caring, and sweet and loves you despite the temper."

Misty wiped the tears out of her eyes and let out a soft giggle at the last comment.  It was hard to believe that these were the same girls that had called her a runt and teased her about being ugly and all the things they were saying she wasn't.

"Thanks," she told them.  

"No problem Misty," Daisy and Lilly said happily.

"Bye, and thanks again," she told them.

"Bye Misty."

_"Mirror mirror lie to me_

_Show me what I want to see_

_Mirror mirror lie to me_

_Why don't I like the girl I see?_

_The one who's standing right in front of me?_

_Why don't I think before I speak?_

_I should have listened to that voice in side of me_

_I must be stupid_

_Must be crazy_

_Must be out of my mind_

_To say the things that I said last night_

_Mirror mirror hanging on the wall_

_You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all_

_Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me_

_And bring my baby back_

_Bring my baby back to me_

_Mirror mirror lie to me_

_Show me what I want to see_

_Mirror mirror lie to me_

_Show me what I want to see_

_Why did I let you walk away?_

_When all I had to do was say I'm sorry_

_I let my pride get in the way_

_And in the heat of the moment I was to blame_

_I must be stupid_

_Must be crazy_

_Must be out of my mind_

_Now in the cold light of day I realize_

_Mirror mirror hanging on the wall_

_You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all_

_Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me_

_And bring my baby back_

_Bring my baby back to me_

_If only wishes could be dreams_

_And know my dreams could come true_

_There would be two of us standing here in front of you_

_If you could show me that someone I used to be_

_Bring back my baby, back to me_

_Mirror mirror hanging on the wall_

_You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all_

_Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me_

_And bring my baby back_

_Bring my baby back to me_

_Mirror mirror lie to me_

_Show me what I want to see_

_Mirror mirror lie to me"_

_('Mirror Mirror' M2M)_

Ash woke up to the sun shinning brightly.  He looked around searching for any sign of Misty, or that she had been there.

He saw nothing, not even a flash of red hair.

He sighed; maybe it was all a dream.   He didn't want it to be a dream, he wanted Misty to have been there last night, to have made him soup and to have stayed up with him planning the dance.

Ash sat up and found the pad he had been lying on.  He scanned it quickly and smiled as he saw a quick note written in Misty's dainty handwriting.  Ash could recognize Misty's handwriting anywhere; after all she was the only person he knew that dotted their eyes with raindrops.

_'Meet me at my sisters quad at noon if you feel better,'_ it read.  _'If not, call me this time.'_

Ash smiled to himself.  Misty always knew how to make him laugh, and it just so happened that he was feeling at least ten times better just thinking about her.

Ash's mind suddenly strayed to the dream he's had.  It was almost exactly the same as the one he had had before Misty came, but this time it went further.

_" . . . because, then that would mean that I love you."_

_Ash wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his chest.  Holding Misty in his arms usually gave him an overwhelming feeling of joy, but she was so upset and frightened that all he felt was her pain._

_"You don't have to be afraid of love," Ash told her comfortingly.  He stroked her back and wished that he could do something to stop her tears._

_"Love only brings pain," she told him between sobs.  "I don't want to hurt."_

_"Do you trust me?" he asked her pulling away so that he could look her in the eye.  Her blue green eyes were full of confusion, but for that one second the tears seemed to stop and she almost looked happy._

_"Of course," she told him.  "I trust you with my life."_

_"Then trust me with your heart," he told her.  "Know that I won't hurt you, and that you mean more to me than life itself.  I love you Misty."_

_"I love you, Ash," she said her voice becoming confident and the tears stopped all together._

_Ash pulled her closer to him and lifted her face to meet his, and he kissed her.  He loved her more than words could explain and this kiss was the closest he would ever come to letting her know that._

Ash sighed to himself.  He could taste Misty on his lips; it was like strawberries and cream.  He could smell her scent in the room, it was almost as if she hadn't even left.

Ash got up and went to the kitchen remembering the extra bowl of soup Misty had stored in the fridge.  He tried to remember what they talked about last night, realizing just how lucky it was that he had taken notes.  The only thing he could remember was how cute Misty looked even in her drenched clothes and tendrils of wet hair falling around her perfect face.

"You're looking better," Tracey commented as he walked into the room.

"I told you all I had to do was see Misty and I would feel better," Ash told him with a smile.

"You know we all thought that she was going to kill you when Brock told us she was here," Tracey said.

"Misty's sweet," Ash told him, "She wouldn't even hurt a fly."

"I guess that her mallet days just happened to have slipped your mind," Tracey mused.

"That's different," Ash told him.  "Anyway, I said Misty wouldn't hurt a fly, I didn't say anything about Brock now did I."

Tracey laughed.  "I heard love makes you do strange things, but calling Misty Waterflower gentle and sweet is beyond it."

~ to be continued ~

Yeah, I know that wasn't a very good ending but it seemed kind of funny at the time.

Please review, despite the weirdness of this chapter I'm hoping for at least ten reviews for it to add towards my efforts of getting to twenty before I reach chapter 20.  I already have the next chapter waiting so the more reviews I get the sooner I'll put that up.


	19. Everywhere

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

To Ryo – Thank you for the flame, though I already had a flame strong feelings about Pokemon being gay and a few curses.  I preferred yours, sorry I didn't mention it sooner but I kind of forgot.

To Everybody else – Thank you so much for the reviews from the last chapter.

Reasons of the Heart – Everywhere

Misty paced her room waiting for that fatal call.  She felt like she was a criminal walking the green mile to the hangman's noose.

It was 11:55 and she promised herself that she wasn't leaving till at least five past.  She was going to let it end up like last time.

The clock ticked slowly each second getting her closer and closer.  The sound of the clock was driving her crazy, the time just wasn't going fast enough.

She didn't want him to call; she wanted that less than anything else.  She wanted him to be meeting her in . . . five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . nine minutes.

Misty sighed to herself.  She wanted to trust that he'd be there if she left now, but it wasn't quite so easy.  It wasn't that she didn't trust him to be there, no, the thing was that she knew exactly how sick he was last night and she just hoped that he felt well enough to meet her.

Misty almost laughed at herself.  If someone had told her last year that she would be stressing over Ash Ketchum like this she would have laughed in their face and never let them forget what a stupid suggestion it was.

_'Who's laughing now?'_ Misty thought to herself.

    . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . eight minutes.

Misty stared down at her watch, willing it to move faster, willing time to speed up so that she wouldn't have to wait any longer.

Misty could picture his face.  The way he would smile as she walked into the quad lighting up his entire face.  The way his chocolate brown eyes would make her feel like she was some kind of goddess sat on top of some exaggeratedly tall pedestal from one look.  The way that he didn't have to say a word and she could already feel the urge to run right into his arms getting stronger and stronger.  

With that came the fear.  The fear of rejection; that he might shy away from her touch.  The fear of compassion, that he may just feel sorry for her and nothing else.  But mostly she feared acceptance, that he would accept her into his arms, into his heart and that nothing would ever be the same again.

She looked down at her watch again . . . five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . seven minutes.

Misty sighed to herself.

She wondered if he was ok.  Last night he'd seemed so sick, almost weak.  She'd never really seen him as weak before; he had this inner strength that seemed to shine through his eyes.  But when she first saw him, he seemed sad and his strength almost dull.

Ash was the strongest person she knew, and seeing him looking weak, even if it was only for a second, it put a new perspective on things.  Mostly it gave her a new insight on Ash, a side of Ash that she almost remembered seeing . . . if only she could figure out where.

Misty opened her silver locket around her neck hoping the picture inside could answer all her unspoken questions and tell her why it seemed so familiar.

Maybe it was the sadness, maybe it was one of the times he had to let a Pokemon go.  She searched her mind hoping to find it but none of them seemed to match.  Maybe it was the surprise, the shock of something unexpected.  She thought for a moment again coming up blank.

_'Maybe it was a mixture of both,'_ her mind suggested to her sounding almost evil.  A picture suddenly came to her.  It was the day she left and she knew from just that glimpse of her past that she had found it.

It only made her feel bad.

. . . two . . . one . . . six minutes.

It made her wonder though.  Why would he care so much that she was leaving?  She'd been cruel, vindictive, and spiteful and in short a right bitch.  But somehow he was still there when she was scared, when she was in danger, when she least expected him to be, there he was.  When all she needed to do was cry, it was his arms wrapped around her waist whispering comforting words in her ear as she let out all the pain she held back from the world.

She couldn't think of anywhere she would rather be then in his arms.  It was the place where the world around her would disappear and everything was perfect.  It was the one place where she knew the meaning of true happiness and it was a feeling she never wanted to let go.  But she had to; something always brought her back to reality before she got swept to far away for anyone to reach her.  Part of her was grateful for that, but the rest of her just wanted stay that way forever.

Why couldn't she just be happy or sad?  Why did she have to be both?

. . . five . . . four . . . two . . . one . . . five minutes.

Misty sighed yet again.  She was getting impatient; all she wanted to do was go see Ash.

_'That's it,'_ she told herself, _'I can't stand this anymore.  One more minute and I'm out that faster than he can say "Pokeball go!'_ she assured herself.

This minute was the longest of all; it seemed like hours rather than seconds.  Misty watched the clock closely as each second ticked by slowly.  She felt like the clock was taunting her.

The seconds went by getting closer and closer to their destination.  Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . time.  

It was finally there but it was too late, because Misty was already out the door.

Misty walked briskly towards the quad trying to make up for her lost time.  She hated being late and this time she didn't even have a good excuse.  "I'm late because I was sitting at home waiting for you to call," doesn't sound right, even in her head.

Misty smiled as she finally walked into the quad.  She stopped in the entryway glancing around the quad picturing the scene for the dance three weeks from now.

She could see herself dancing in the center of a frozen dance floor, her arms wrapped around the neck of her handsome prince (who just happened to look like Ash).  The full moon shone brightly above them enhancing his distinct features and chocolate eyes.  Fairy lights danced through the trees and the stars sparkled brighter than ever before.

Misty couldn't wait.

_Turn it inside out so I can see_

_The part of you that's drifting over me_

_And when I wake you're never there_

_But when I sleep you're everywhere_

_You're everywhere_

_Just tell me how I got this far_

_Just tell me why you're here and who you are_

_Cause every time I look you're never there_

_And every time I sleep you're always there_

_Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_I'm not alone_

_I recognize the way you make me feel_

_It's hard to think that you might not be real_

_I sense it now the waters getting deep_

_I try to wash the pain away from me_

_Away from me_

_Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_I'm not alone_

_And when I touch your hand_

_Its then I understand_

_The beauty is within_

_Its now that we begin_

_You always light me way_

_I hope there never comes a day_

_No matter where I go_

_I always feel you so _

_Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I catch my breath it's you I breathe_

_You're everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_You're everyone I see_

_So tell me_

_Do you see me?_

_('Everywhere' by Michelle Branch)_

Ash noticed her long before she noticed him.

She gazed wistfully around the quad not even aware of him as he walked up to her.  By the time she was out of her trance he was standing right in front of her.

A look of surprise consumed Misty's face as she was snapped back to reality, not that she minded at all, this reality was twice as good as her fantasy.

"You're late," Ash tisked jokily.

Misty smiled nervously and a light blush from both embarrassment and how close she and Ash were standing crossed her cheeks.

"Never mind," Ash smiled seeing her embarrassment.  He figured she had a good reason, Misty usually did.  "So what are we up to?"

"We need to figure out the dance floor thing," Misty told him happy to have the subject changed and the focus off herself, even if Ash was the one doing the focusing.

Ash looked across the pool where they planned to place some kind of dance floor.  It was at least the size of an Olympic pool but he was sure bigger, Misty and her sisters seemed to share the same motto "Everything in moderation, including moderation".

"Its too big just to slap a few floorboards across," Ash said as he looked to Misty, "especially if were just going to throw it out afterwards."

Misty nodded looking anywhere but Ash's face.  That had been her decision, just to avoid eye contact like she usually did, like she had since she was about eleven years old.

"What about an ice rink," she asked still avoiding eye contact.

"Wouldn't that be a bit too slippery to dance on?" Ash asked trying to find a way to catch her eye without being too obvious.  Obvious being defined as taking her face in his hands and gently lifting it to face him, he wasn't exactly what you'd call subtle.

Misty let out a soft giggle despite herself.  "That's why we use dry ice," she told him.  Dry ice was a special technique only certain ice Pokemon could achieve and Misty just happened to have one that could.  "Azure could do it," she added.

"And Azure is a . . ." he said slightly sarcastically hinting for her to explain.

"A delightful shade of blue," she told him returning his sarcastic tone much harsher.  She bulled a blue pokeball from her pocket and aimed it at the pool.  Out came a beautiful Lapras in a rare shade of blue he had never seen before in any sort of Pokemon.  "Azure Ash, Ash Azure," she said introducing the two.

"I see where you got its name," Ash said inspecting it from all angles.

"Her name, Ash," Misty corrected, "and she doesn't like being stared at like that."

"Just a sec Myst," he said taking a step closer regardless of Misty's warning.  "I just want to see something."

"Don't say I didn't warn," Misty said with a shrug.

Ash took yet another step closer.  Azure quickly leaned back and began aiming her ice beam attack at Ash.

"Azure don't," Misty warned but it was already too late as her ice beam hit Ash smack dab in the face.

Ash shook it off quickly and looked to Misty.

"I told you not to stare at her like that," Misty said shaking her head irritably.  "She has a rather nasty temper, especially for a Lapras."

Ash smiled mischievously.  "Reminds of this redhead I know," he said.

"Really?" Misty asked sounding way to innocent.  Ash knew she was up to something, the question was what.  "You look awfully hot there Ash."  She nodded towards Azure and smiled.

Before Ash even had a chance to understand her words fully Azure had already aimed a full force water gun attack in his direction.  Ash had actually been struck dumb for a few seconds as the words 'you look awfully hot' came out of Misty's mouth.

"What makes you think I was talking about you?" he asked when Misty had finally got azure to stop.

Misty threatened to give him another ice blast.

"Sorry," he offered smiling innocently and flashing his puppy dog brown eyes.

Misty felt her heart jump to her throat beating a hundred times a second.  She felt her knees go weak and every sense in her body work over time.  Her body was covered with goose bumps and she felt like she could faint right into his arms.

But she didn't.  She stood her ground and did her best impression of annoyance as she returned Azure back to her pokeball.  "You are so annoying," she sighed exasperatedly rolling her eyes and taking a quick glance at Ash.

"Truce?" he asked.  He was standing right by the pool, which required Misty to move to meet him.  His hand was held out to her.

Misty walked to him in a few long strides and took his hand in hers.  As soon as she did Ash pulled her closer to him, wraping both his arms around her waist and jumped into the pool.  

Misty screamed as the cold water hit her skin.  She hardly felt it though.  Being in Ash's arms warmed her right through in spite of the chilly autumn weather.

She pushed Ash away from her as soon as she was over the initial shock, after all, she didn't want to look like she was enjoying it.  She swam up to the top for air waiting for Ash to surface.

She waited a minute but saw no sign of Ash and began to get worried.  She dived under checking that he wasn't still there but she didn't see him.

"Ash, where are you?" she asked as she tread water.  "Ash this isn't funny," she called out to him anxiously.  "Ash if you don't come here right this instant I swear, I'm getting out of this pool right now and leaving you here all alone."

Misty began to shiver finally feeling the cold with Ash's warmth gone.  She was really worried.  She knew that part of the reason she was shivering was the fear she felt.  She was so afraid that Ash might not be ok.

"Boo," he whispered in her ear wrapping an arm around her waist so she couldn't escape.

"Ash that was not funny," she told him her back still to him.

"What makes you think that I'm Ash?"

~ to be continued ~

Yes a cliffhanger.  I guess you've been reading these long enough to realize just how much I love cliffhangers, and not just the occasional one.

So, anyway I need a few suggestions on whom this mysterious guy is and what the hells he's doing with his arms around Misty.  All will be considered even though I'm majorly leaning towards making it Will.  I figure you expected more from Will and Melissa's conniving minds than that stupid thing.  Maybe it was just the beginning?

Please Review.  I want to try to get to 200 reviews before I reach chapter 20.__


	20. All I've Ever Wanted

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.  

I would like to start by thanking you guys for all the reviews, when I asked for 200 reviews I seriously didn't think I'd get them, but I did.  So thanks a bunch and I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

Reasons of the Heart – All I've Ever Wanted

"What makes you think that I'm Ash?"

Misty gasped.

_'Don't panic,'_ she reminded herself trying to keep her breathing steady.  She had enough problems breathing regularly and keeping her heart rate under control when she thought that it was Ash's arm wrapped tightly around her waist brushing her bare skin between the bottom of her top and the top of her shorts.  Now that she knew it was a complete stranger who was majorly giving her the heebie jeebies it just got harder.

She took several deep breaths trying to calm herself.  She slowly turned around to face her attacker.  She didn't want to, she could feel the fear trying to suffocate her, but she just knew that she was at a disadvantage with her back to him.

She gasped again as she turned around.

"Ash you prick," she yelled angrily as she whacked his head.  "I thought you were some kind of serial killer."

Ash smiled at her.  "Next time you'll think before sending your Pokemon after me," he told her with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Do you not realize how scared I was?" she asked hitting him again.

"Of course," Ash replied.  "You were shivering like hell but I put most of that down to the cold."

Suddenly Misty realized that she wasn't shivering anymore.  She didn't feel cold and she still felt Ash's powerful arm wrapped around her waist.

"Don't you have even one ounce of sense in that oversized head of yours?" she asked glaring at him angrily.  She could already feel a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth but she held it back so she could see Ash squirm under her angry gaze.  He looked so sweet when he was trying to be apologetic.

She wondered if he realized that his arms were still around her.  If he did would he take them away?  They were so close and it all seemed so perfect.  All she wanted right then was for him to kiss her.  The memory of their first kiss was fresh in her mind and all she wanted to do was to share that feeling again.

"I'm sorry Myst," he said looking up at her flashing an apologetic smile.  "I guess I just got carried away, I really thought it would be funny."

"Well you thought wrong," she told him finding it harder and harder to be mad at him.  It wasn't just the scare that she felt the urge to forgive but everything that had happened.

"I'm really, really sorry," he said smiling at her.  "But even you have to admit it Myst, it was kind of funny."

Misty smiled.  _'Is it just me or is he a lot closer than he was before,'_ she thought to herself.  "I guess," she giggled lightly.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

She nodded.

Ash let go and Misty suddenly felt the cold return.  He hopped out of the pool and held his hand out to Misty lifting her out of the pool.

Misty shivered and felt her teeth chatter slightly.

"I think it was a lot warmer in the pool," she whispered quietly.

"Here," Ash said draping his soaking coat over her shoulders.

"I don't think that's helping," she said with a laugh.  "I think we should relocate our meeting to a warmer climate."

"Your place or mine?" he asked.

Misty thought for a second.  She knew that she would never hear the end of it if she brought Ash back to their house.  Nobody would stop teasing her and they'd probably tease her to Ash's face.  But then she needed dry clothes and she knew she'd be much worse if she came back wearing Ash's shirt.  

Plus her place was closer.

"Mine," she said as she ran off knowing Ash would follow.  

He did.

He raced up behind her and caught her in a huge bear hug as they reached the stairs.  He carried her through the door and she had to resist the urge to curl up into his chest.  They both laughed glad to find the warmth of the sorority house.

Misty told Ash the directions to the lounge where a fire was always burning in the colder months.  He dumped her on the couch and she laughed as he fell down next to her.

"You know you're a lot heavier than I remember," he told her.

She hit him on the arm but laughed in spite of herself.

"You know after awhile that really starts to hurt."

She hit him again just for good measure.

"I'm going to go get changed into some dry clothes," she told him getting up.  "I'll see if I can find a shirt or something.  I think Sabs has a couple of Brocks or something."

She took a quick glance back before climbing up the stairs to her room.

She quickly pulled on a pair of pale blue sweat pants and a warm woolen jumper.  She then crept into Sabrina's room and stole a shirt hoping it was the right size.

"Misty," someone said.

_'Please don't be Sabrina, please don't be Sabrina,'_ she thought to herself.  She glanced over at the door.  "Thank god," she sighed.

"What are you doing?" Anya asked.  "And why are you soaking wet?"

"I got in a fight with the sprinkler system," she offered innocently.  "You should have seen me.  I was out numbered but I held my ground and everything."

"No really?" she said sarcastically.  

"Ash tried to drown me?" she said hoping it would do.

"Misty," she said warningly.

"I was at meeting with Ash and he pulled me into the pool and now he's sitting downstairs soaking wet which is why I'm taking a shirt," she said so quickly that you could barely tell one word from another.  "Please don't tell Melody or Sabrina," she pleaded resuming a regular pace.  "They'd never stop teasing me about this."

"Promise," Anya said crossing her fingers over her heart.  "Now hurry up down there," she said.  "You're guest is waiting."

Misty smiled thankfully and quickly went to grab a towel and a couple of blankets.

She walked into the lounge to find Ash almost in a trance as he watched the fire.  One that only she had the power to break.

"Ash," she said.  He snapped his head to face her straight away.

"I was just thinking about something," he said not sure why he felt he had to explain himself.

Misty smiled.  "Let me guess, it was unfamiliar territory and you got lost?" she asked.

He looked at her with a smile.  Usually he probably would have retorted even though it was Misty, that was just more reason to, but he was in such a good mood right now that he didn't care.  He knew it was all in good humor anyway.

She chucked him the shirt and pointed him to the bathroom.  He went to change and was back in a few seconds.  He laid his wet shirt and jacket in front of the fire and hoped they would dry in time.

She passed him a towel to dry his face and a blanket.  She wrapped her own blanket around her shoulders and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him like a little kid waiting for a story.

"Okay so we've figured out the dance floor thing," she said bringing out a pen and paper.

"What about electricity?" he asked.

"The quad is connected to a power line but you have to hook a generator up to it to use it," she told him.

"Well that sorts that problem," he said.  "What we need to figure out is the music."

"Actually I was thinking of this band on campus," she said.  "They do great cover versions and they come with a DJ so they do a mixture."

"That sounds great," Ash smiled.  "Do you have anything of theirs so we can check?"

"Actually yes," she said.  "I'll be right back."

Misty rushed upstairs again and came back with a tape.  She pushed it into the stereo and pressed play.  A female voice came on almost straight away backed up by a few other voices.

_If you only knew_

_What I feel for you_

_If you only lived for me_

_The way I live for you_

_I'd be heaven_

_My dreams would come true_

_Cause all I've ever wanted_

_Is you_

_And you alone_

_And I love you so_

_More than you could ever know_

_All I've ever wanted_

_Is you_

_If you were my own_

_To caress and hold_

_I would shower you with love_

_And drown within your soul_

_Because I live and breathe for you_

_And I really need to know_

_That all I've ever wanted_

_Is you_

_And you alone_

_And I love you so_

_More than you could ever know_

_All I've ever wanted_

_Is you_

_Everything I do is for you_

_You are every part of me_

_And I don't want to face_

_Another day_

_Alone_

_Without our love_

_Cause all I've ever wanted_

_Is you_

_And you alone_

_And I love you so_

_More than you could ever know_

_All I've ever wanted is you_

_(Mariah Carey 'All I've Ever Wanted')_

The song came to an end.

Misty sighed realizing just how close to home this song hit her.  It was as if the writers had just stolen part of her life for their own creative purposes and turned into an enticing love ballad about a girl and a boy.  She always thought that her life was like a soap opera, now it was a musical too.

While Misty's mind jumbled with thoughts the tape continued to another song.

Take my hand 

_Touch my face . . ._

Misty sighed.  "I love this song," Misty said as she walked over to the stereo and turned it off.

"Then why are you turning it off?" Ash asked her.

_'Because,'_ Misty thought to herself, _'it means too much to me, and it says almost everything I've ever wanted to tell you since the day we met so simply that I'm afraid you'd find out.  I don't want you to see me cry.'_

But then of course she didn't say that.

"I remember couple of guys that use to complain constantly about me listening to the band that wrote this," she told him.

Ash shrugged.  "Have it your way."

Misty smiled, thankful that she hadn't had to explain her real reasons to Ash.  "So what do you think of the band?" she asked changing the subject to one much more easier to deal with.

"They sounded good," Ash told her.  "They don't just do love songs do they?"

"Of course not," she said.  "Does that mean they're it?"

"Definitely," Ash nodded.

"Great," Misty said happily.  "I'll go talk to them tomorrow."

"So, what next?" Ash asked.

Misty looked down at her pad and noticed that everything had been ticked off.  She tried to ignore the tiny hearts doodled subconsciously across the page and in the margin and hid them from Ash.

"That's all," she said a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Oh," Ash said his voice also lacking its usual cheer.  He always felt ten times happier with Misty, but leaving was always the worst part.  "I guess I better go," he added praying she would ask him to stay.  

He knew he was expecting too much.  They were barely friends; he was lucky she hadn't just left him in the pool.

"I guess," Misty said nonchalantly.

Ash couldn't help but notice the regret underneath her nonchalant tone.  _'Maybe, just maybe . . .'_ he thought to himself as he stood up.  _'Forget it Ketchum, she couldn't, it's just not possible.'_

Suddenly it seemed as though he had just lost all control of his own body.  He bent down from his standing position and lightly wrapped his arms around Misty's shoulders and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

_'What have I done?'_ Ash thought to himself as he looked into Misty's shocked expression that mirrored his own.

"Uh . . ."Ash started nervously.  "See yah Myst."

He made for a quick get away.  He didn't want to wait around just so Misty could yell at him.  At least this way he could pretend that she didn't mind, and he could tell himself that they were friends and that that was just something friends do.

"Bye Ash," she called after him quietly as she finally found her voice.

Ash stopped and looked back at her flashing her a nervous smile before he headed out the door.

Misty stared intently at the fire waiting for it to answer her questions.

_'It was just a little peck on the cheek,'_ she told herself.  _'Nothing special.'_

_'Sure tell that to the butterflies,'_ the annoying little voice in her head told her.  She didn't want to admit the voice was right, her stomach was full of thousands of tiny little butterflies trying to escape, but that didn't mean anything, right?

_'It was just a little peck,'_ she argued with the voice.  _'Friends do it all the time.'_

_'So now you're friends,'_ it replied maliciously.  _'Isn't it strange how quickly you've changed you're tune.'_

Misty sighed, giving up on arguing with a voice inside her head.  She already knew she was a head case, but talking to voices in your head is definite affirmation.

"Why are things so confusing?" she sighed to herself.

From the moment Ash Ketchum walked into her life he just flipped the whole thing upside down and had been driving her to the point of insanity ever since.  She had the feeling she was finally there.

All he had done was kiss her on the cheek, nothing special, yet it had this amazing affect over her that she could hardly explain.  She felt this yearning deep with in her soul; she felt as though she needed him, that he was her breath, that he was the only thing holding her down to earth.  She felt excited, she could feel her pulse racing through her veins, her head wanted to explode and all she could think of was him.  She felt happy, happier than she had ever felt before, and it was strange to think that Ash was the key.

Well not really.  If she was honest with herself, she wasn't the least bit even remotely surprised that Ash was the main cause of her happiness.  He always had been, and she got the feeling that he always would.

She could remember times in their journeys together when she would feel so low and so sad that she would just mope around, and Ash would do everything in his power just to make her smile again.  He usually succeeded.

Half the time he would just say something and no matter how lame and stupid it was she would be clutching her stomach and laughing within seconds.  He had a power over her that he didn't realize.  He didn't realize how strong it was or what it could make her do or that it was even there, but it was there and it could make her do it all.

Maybe it was something in his eyes, or maybe it was his smile, she didn't know, but the only thing she knew was that something about Ash Ketchum made her smile without a doubt.  There was something about him that could only be captured with one word.  

Ash.

It was such a simple thought.  He was just so . . . he was Ash and that was all that really mattered to her.  Part of her felt the need to explain it all.  Part of her felt that she had to have reasons to love him, and that love had to be explained as if it were some kind of equation or problem she need to solve.  The rest of her knew only one reason, and felt that any others only enhanced that one important reason.

He was the reason, and all others were just more things for her to love about him.  Love wasn't math; it wasn't quite that simple.  You don't put your names on paper and search for the answers, if it was she would have found hers years ago.

Ash = Misty.  Misty = Ash.

No, love wasn't nearly simple enough.  So what if they were meant to be, that didn't necessary mean they would.  The equation added up perfectly, the answer was obvious, and yet still they were apart.

_'He's the reason he'll never know.'_

Misty blinked at the strange thought that had just come to her head.  True he was the reason; he was the reason for everything she did.  He was the reason she got up each morning, the reason she fell asleep at night, the reason she didn't just give up, he was the reason for her every breath.  He was what she lived for, but the reason he'll never know?  It just seemed too much, too deep, and at the moment while her thoughts were still consumed by the meaning of a supposedly innocent kiss, too much to comprehend.

Ash kissing her, even on the cheek, was something she thought would only ever happen in her dreams.  She never once even played with the idea that Ash could be as in love with her as she was with him; she never thought about the reality that he would want to kiss her.

Now it was all she ever thought about, the feel of Ash's lips against hers, the silky sensation that warmed her right through, the soft caress of his hand against her skin.  Nobody knew how much she wanted to share that feeling with Ash again, especially not Ash.

The words of her mother's favorite song flowed through her head.  Her father used to sing it to her whenever she was upset.  He used to tell her how much her mother loved that song and how beautiful she was and how much Misty reminded him of her.  The words seemed more appropriate now.

It was a simple song about love and about not being afraid.  It was definitely something she needed to think about.  She was afraid to love, and she knew that wasn't a good thing.

Again she thought about that kiss, the pleasure of his warm lips against her skin.

She sighed and rested her head in her hands, finally diverting her gaze from the twisting flames of the fire.

"Great," she sighed.  "Yet another thing I can add to my list of reasons why I can't look Ash in the eye."

~ to be continued ~

This has got to be my longest chapter yet, well almost.  I thought she knew is longer by about 208 words not including disclaimers and the screwed up bits I put at the end.

I know you all wanted it and were expecting Will, probably because I said it would be him, but then I remembered what a total wimp Will is and the fact that he's afraid to even go near Misty because Ash would beat the crap out of him for just looking at her.  Yes I do realize how interesting Will Fox (Simmons) having the crap beaten out of him, why else do you think I read Sweet Valley Seniors?  Cancel that, I read them for all the Jessica and Jeremy romance, but I still get to read about Will getting the crap beaten out of him in anything before the knee injury.

Anyway please review, I really want thirteen reviews for this chapter, it's a good number for me.

Also, if anyone can guess the song that started after the full one then you will get a special early edition (by this I mean when I finally put it up which I reckon will be quite a way away seeing as its about the third to last chapter you will probably have a totally different chapter apart from the few main details) of My 'What if?" chapter.  Just write in the review or send me an email at virgochick87@hotmail.com.


	21. Something Like You

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

Sorry this took a while but I was at camp which thouroughly sucked.  Hands up anyone who wants to spend four days surrounded by sheep . . . that's what I thought . . . I can't see your hands. 

Anyway thanks for all the reviews, I still can't believe I got so many.

Reasons of the Heart – Something Like You

Misty.

Ash sighed.  It was at least the tenth time he had written her name on the page in the last five minutes.  Right now he was trying to figure out what the point was of even having a journal if all you did was write the same name over and over again until it was etched into his memory.  Not that it wasn't already there.

He had opened his journal the moment he got back to his room.  His mind was bursting with questions and thoughts and he felt the need to put them down on paper, to put them into some order and language he could understand before his head exploded into millions of tiny fragments.

His mom had urged him to start keeping a journal when he first started his journey all those years ago.  And he had.

It was a lot easier then.  Most of the entries consisted of all the "cool" Pokemon he saw and the annoying little redhead that followed him around and all the things that annoyed him about her.  Then he started to like his annoying little redhead and the same things that had filled his pages under a title of 'Why Misty Waterflower is the most annoying person in the entire universe' made him like her, her annoying habits, like how she screamed whenever she saw a bug Pokemon, were suddenly cute and funny.  

And then he started to love her and there was suddenly less mention of Pokemon and more of Misty until the Pokemon completely disappeared.

Now his pages were filled with Misty.  He would write pages and pages on the delicate hue of green in her eyes or the silky feeling of her skin or the enticing shape of her red lips.  And sometimes he would just sit there writing her name over and over again.

Misty.

_How is it that two simple syllables seem to fit together so perfectly and just capture it all?  There's so much going on in my head that it honestly feels like its going to explode any second now, but for almost five minutes all I could do was write her name._

_Misty._

_It's so perfect.  It's beautiful, and kind and strong and all the reasons that I love Misty in one word.  There are a lot of those, yet somehow it finds a way to say them all so simply._

_How long have I loved her?_

_Was it eight maybe nine years?_

_Maybe I always loved her.  Maybe my entire life I just loved Misty Waterflower.  Maybe I loved her from the moment I was born and I just never realized.  Maybe I was in love with her the moment we met, maybe I was just trying to hide it from myself like I tried to hide it from Brock._

_I guess the only thing that I really know for certain is that I love her, and I will until the day I die._

_There's nothing wrong with that as far as I'm concerned.  I'm not complaining; I love to love her._

_Okay, I know that that sounds really, **really** corny but its true.  I love loving Misty.  I'm not going to start spewing some crap about endorphins and chemical reactions making me feel this way, because I believe in love._

_I believe that love is real, that I'm not just getting high on a bunch of chemical reactions stimulating it all.  I believe that love is all that it is, that love is love.  _

_I don't really care if people think I'm just being stupid, I believe in love.  I believe that what I feel for Misty is as pure as it comes and that I could never stop loving her even for a second.  And I believe that five years apart proves it._

_I spent five years alone wondering why I had ever let her go, wondering how I could ever live my life with out her.  Now I wonder how I ever survived life without her._

_In those times I felt as though I had ten thousand tons weighing down my heart.  I still strived for the best hoping she would see it and realize exactly why I went to the trouble that she would realize that I was battling for her that the titles were all just to prove something to her.  _

_I'm not quite sure what, maybe it was to prove that I wasn't the stupid twerp she had always told me I was.  Maybe it was to show her that she meant that much to me, that she was the reason I was doing it all.  Maybe it was just a macho show of male pride.  But whatever it was, it was for her._

_But that's not the reason that I need to write.  Sure its about Misty, it always is, but this is about the present, not the past._

_This entry is about me screwing up again, and the simple lack of a future together.  What are the chances of her ever forgiving me if I keep doing stupid things like this?  All I've accomplished is to freak her out.  _

_It feels as though I'm taking two steps forward and three steps back._

_I mean today was great, she wasn't even that angry after the pool thing.  I think that we were really connecting again, I felt as though it was like old times, like we were just Ash and Misty again not two separate entities that were rarely left alone in the same room together.  It felt perfect, like I'd found it, as if I was exactly where I wanted and all my dreams had come true and I had everything I'd been looking for my entire life._

_I guess were kind of like the yin and yang.  You know two halves that just seem to fit together perfectly to make one, two people that can't live without the other.  _

_Sure I lived without her, but only just not without taking a little piece of her with me.  _

_When she walked away, well actually if I want to be really honest ran away from me.  Anyway, when she ran away from me that day, she took a part of me with her.  She took my heart and I always felt like I was empty unless I saw her face._

_Now I feel whole again.  I feel like . . . I don't know it's so hard to describe.  It's confusing, there are all these feelings and they all just seem to be thrown at you at once.  I can't distinguish one form another and the only thing that I really know about them is that whatever they are, that Misty's the source._

_I feel happier just knowing that she's here.  I mean not right next to me or anything, but she's so close I don't have to worry about her getting hurt or anything like I used to.  It's like there's a bounce in my step, especially when I'm going to see her, and I feel as though I could fly.  I feel like the luckiest guy in the world just to know her but to love her, I feel blessed._

_And all that just knowing she's here, maybe not with me, but she's not with anyone else either._

_What I really want is for her to be here with me.  I know I have to do something really extravagant if I want her to even consider me as an option.  Misty is gorgeous, she's most definitely the most stunning girl I've seen in my entire life, she's probably has thousands of guys just throwing themselves at her everyday.  I'm trying hard not to let that put me off._

_I have something they don't, history.  I know Misty better than I know myself and that's how I'm going to prove to her that I love her.  I'm going to show her what she means to me._

_Now all I need is the means._

_I thought about it as I walked back here from her place and I think I've got it, or at least part of it._

_That song seemed so familiar.  I have a feeling that she didn't just love that song, but I almost remember it being her absolute favorite song.  So I'm going to put it to good use._

_First though I have to figure out what band it is that sings it.  All I have is a tune, two lines and the fact that it was sung by a band she use to listen to when we traveled together.  There's also the fact that Brock and I complained about the band so they must have been a boy band (A/N: Clue)._

_I'm going to make sure I find that song and I'm going to make the ball perfect just for her.  It will be a night she'll never forget, I'll make sure of that.  I just hope the memories are fond._

_Misty is a part of my life that I wouldn't give up for anything and a part that I would do anything for to get back for good.  And I will even though I still struggle to believe that she wasn't just a dream._

_So many times_

_I thought I held it in my hands_

_But just like grains of sand_

_Love slipped through my fingers_

_And so many nights_

_I asked the lord above_

_Please make me lucky enough_

_To find a love that lingers_

_Something keeps telling me _

_That you could be my answered prayer_

_You must be heaven sent I swear_

_Cause something happens when you look at me_

_I forget to speak_

_Something happens when you kiss my mouth_

_My knees get so weak_

_Could it be true this is what God has meant for me_

_Cause baby, I can't believe_

_That something like you_

_Could happen to me_

_Something like you_

_Girl in your eyes_

_I feel your fire burn_

_Oh your secrets I will learn_

_Even if it takes forever_

_With you by my side_

_I can do anything_

_I don't care what tomorrow brings_

_As long as were together_

_My heart is telling me_

_That you could be my meant to be_

_I know it more each time we touch_

_Cause something happens when you look at me_

_I forget to speak_

_Something happens when you kiss my mouth_

_My knees get so weak_

_Could it be true this is what God has meant for me_

_Cause baby, I can't believe_

_That something like you_

_Could happen to me_

_Something magical_

_Something spiritual_

_Something stronger than the two of us apart_

_Something physical_

_Something undeniable_

_Nothing like anything that I've ever known_

_Cause something happens when you look at me_

_I forget to speak_

_Something happens when you kiss my mouth_

_My knees get so weak_

_Could it be true this is what God has meant for me_

_Cause baby, I can't believe_

_That something like you_

_Could happen to me_

_Something happen_

_Can't believe that you happened to me_

_('Something like you' by Nsync)_

Ash tried to hustle his frat out of the house.  They had a meeting in about ten minutes and damn if he was going to be late.

Misty hated tardiness, she couldn't stand being late and it annoyed the heck out of her if anyone else was late.  Timing was everything to her and he had less than ten minutes to get thirty something boys over to her sorority house in time.

Ash paused as he heard a phone ring.  He rushed to grab knowing that he was probably the only one who wasn't so rushed off his feet that he couldn't answer a phone.  It was ten to eleven and at least half the guys had only just gotten out of bed.

"Hello?" Ash asked as he put the phone to his ear.

"Can I please speak to Ash?" a croaky voice asked.

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on whom it belonged to.

"This is Ash," he replied trying to figure out who it was.

The person on the other end coughed before answering.  "Ash its me, Misty," she replied sounding much less than her usual cheerful self.

"Misty, are you ok?" he asked worriedly.  "You sound terrible."

"Believe me," she said a slight smile heard in her voice, "I look worse.  I think you made me sick."

He could picture her pouting jokingly on the other end; her lips pursed angrily, her arms crossed over her chest and mischief in her eyes.

He laughed at the thought.

"Does this mean it's my turn to storm over and make you soup?" he asked her.

"No," she replied.  "You see, unlike somebody I know who shall remain nameless for his sake, I remembered to call and didn't get my scaredy cat friends to do it."

"Does that mean the meetings off?" he asked.

Misty let out a soft giggle in spite of her sickness thanks to his tone.  It was immediately followed by a fit of coughing.

"I'll take that as a yes," he replied for her.

"I guess it will have to be," she sighed.

"Well, remember to get lots of rest and liquids," he told her.  "And keep nice and warm."

"I'll be sure to remember that doctor Ketchum," she said teasingly.

"You better, or I'll have to come down there and give you a piece of your own medicine," he told her.

She giggled again.  "Yes sir," she smiled.  "Goodbye Doctor," she teased.

"Goodbye, Myst," he said his tone returning to a more serious one.  He put down the phone.

"False alarm," he yelled to the guys.  "Misty's sick so the meetings cancelled."

With that they headed back to bed.

Misty sighed as she placed the phone back in its cradle.

She wished he would come over.  He could just smile and kiss it all better just like her mom used to do when she was really little.

He was a drug, and she was addicted to him.  She didn't blame herself, she wasn't sure she could have stopped it even if she tried, he was just too perfect, too cute, too sweet and just too Ash.

She felt as though she needed a fix.  Just one glance to get her through the day, one smile to get her through the year and one kiss to make her last forever.

That's how she felt when she was with Ash.  She felt as though forever was slipping away and that all that was left was eternity.  She felt as if her life was complete and that he was holding her in place.  She felt like if he let her go, she would just drift away, but she never did and she was happy for that.

Misty sighed again.

She had almost mentioned it, the kiss.  The simple peck on the cheek that she tried to convince herself was nothing more than a sign of friendship; she almost brought it up.

She wanted to talk about her.  She wanted to find out what it really meant.  But she wasn't brave; she didn't want to hear him tell her it was nothing, or that it was just something friends did.  Sure that was what she had convinced herself, but deep down she hoped it was more.

Misty pulled out her diary and began to write.

_Dear Diary,_

_You know some people would say that I missed out on an important and significant part of my life in the four years we spent together. _

_Those people would be wrong._

_I say that I missed out on the most important and significant parts of my life from the moment I left to our first meeting a Davison and that I'm finally getting my life back together._

_Some people might think that it was all just one big waste of time that I gave up more than I received.  I don't think so._

_Some people might tell me that falling in love with Ash Ketchum was the biggest mistake of my life.  Well, I'm not going to listen anymore.  I love Ash and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it._

_In my few years of life I have had it rather easy coming to the other side with only one outstanding regret.  If I had to live my life over again, and I could change anything along the way, there's only really one thing that I would change.  I never would have ran away._

_I didn't just run away from Ash that day, I ran away from my hopes, my dreams, my pain and fears.  I ran away from Ash, I ran away from everything that truly mattered to me in life._

_I wonder what would have happened if I had turned around if, what he would have said if he had said if he had seen the tears in my eyes.  Would he have wrapped his arms around me, or would he have been too angry at the things I had said or the fact that I was deserting him in the middle of his journey?  If I had apologized would he have accepted it, would he have taken me back?_

_What am I thinking? For six years I've wanted him to apologize and now I'm pondering what would have happened if **I** had apologized.  I'm not the sort of person who apologizes; I don't think I've ever apologized even once._

_Well at least not a formal 'I'm sorry' that wasn't forced upon.  Sure I have my own way of saying sorry, kind of just to show that I didn't mean to do it but that's not quite the same as an apology is it?_

_I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't saved Ash from the river.  Would we still have found each other?_

_Sometimes I think that Ash and I are soul mates, like we were just meant to be.  I feel like our journeys could take different roads but we'd always end up at the same place.  We found each other here at Davison.  Its all too perfect, our best friends are together, we're the presidents of a frat and sorority which have a long running history of ending up together and living happily ever after, Togetic even thinks Ash is her dad._

_This isn't a crush, it isn't infatuation, it isn't desire and it definitely isn't immature high school love.  This is the real deal.  This is true love, the sort of thing that lasts lifetimes, that crosses oceans and survives through thick and thin._

_This is the sort of love you find in fairytales and Disney movies.  This is the sort of thing that you dream of as kids, with a handsome prince and you as the beautiful princess._

_Ash is a prince.  He's not a frog that hides a handsome prince beneath; he's a prince through and through.  He's just perfect._

_But I'm not a princess.  Maybe I'm the ugly ducking who just needs to hide away until she finds her wings.  But all she got was beauty, I don't want beauty, I'm not that superficial.  What I want is Ash._

_Sure some people say I'm pretty, but it's more in a cute way.  I still see myself as plain old ordinary Misty Waterflower, a blemish on the perfect record of the Sensational Cerulean Sisters._

_Its strange, if anyone else had said these things about me, I would have slapped them across the face until it hurts so bad they couldn't speak for a year._

_Ok, so lets say that I'm not a blemish on my family's perfect record, but I'm not the prettiest Waterflower, that's for sure._

_But that's kind of off the topic now isn't it?_

_So back to Ash, and all these 'what ifs?' that seem to plague my existence._

_What if I hadn't ran away when Ash asked for my forgiveness?_

_Would we still be standing where we are today, somewhere in between friendship and love?  Would we be friends at all?  If I had stayed, if I had let him explain, would I have liked what I would hear?_

_I don't know._

_All I know is that I don't regret the life I chose to live; I only regret that I chose not to live it with him._

_Signed_

_Misty Waterflower._

Misty sighed, her questions still stirring in her mind.

_'What if?'_ she thought to herself again.

She shook her head and tried to get rid of them.  

"Its just because I'm sick," she reasoned with herself, "I'm not thinking straight."

She sighed.

She guessed that she might as well take the doctors advice and get some rest.  At least that way, while she was sleeping she wouldn't have to think about the boy that she knew was destined to haunt her dreams.

~ to be continued ~

Any complaints? 

Another long chapter, I'm getting good at those, I can't wait to get started on the next chapter.

Please review, at least ten will suit me fine.


	22. Complicated

Disclaimer – Don't own Pokemon and never said I did, so please don't sue me.

I really wanted to call it complicated but Avril didn't fit right and neither did Good Charlotte so I spent ages looking for this song so that I would be song less.

Reasons of the Heart – Complicated

Ash sat downstairs in front of a large stereo flicking through the tracks of the CD's.  The entire room was full of CD's sprawled into every crevasse.

"What are you up to?" Brock asked as he walked into the room.

"Listening to music," Ash explained.

He listened to the first few bars of the music and stopped it before the second line of words was through.

Brock scrutinized him doubtfully.  He bent down to the floor and picked up the closest CD to him.

"N sync, no strings attached?" Brock asked staring at ash disbelievingly and narrowed his eyes suspiciously.  

(A/N: I am not in any way, shape or form dising N sync, I for one think N sync rock and anyone who begs to differ can think otherwise)

"I borrowed them from Tracey and a few guys," Ash answered grabbing the CD case from Brock and replacing its contents.

"Who?" 

"I promised not to tell," Ash replied.  He opened another CD case and shoved yet another CD into the stereo.

"So what exactly are you trying to do?" Brock asked.

"I'm trying to listen to this," Ash said slightly frustrated by Brocks insistent questions.

"Last time I checked that's not how you listened to music," Brock said.  "I always thought you were supposed to . . ." he trailed off.

"Shh shhh," Ash told him, cutting Brock off as he recognized a familiar introduction.

_"Take my hand,_

_Touch my face,_

_Let me feel your embrace . . ."_

Ash jumped up and stopped the song, glad that he had finally found it.

"So what's so special about this song that it actually got more than two lines in?" Brock asked annoyed that he had been shushed.

"This is Misty's favorite song," Ash told him happily.  "Don't you remember it?"

"Not really," Brock replied.  "It seems kind of familiar, but otherwise no."

"You sure?" Ash asked.  "Misty loves this song, she use to play it none stop all the time and we used to tease her because it was soppy and romantic."

"Actually speaking of Misty, soppy and romantic," Brock said as he went out the room to grab something.  He came back in a few moments holding up a costume.  "Melody sent this over.  I think it's your costume."

"What exactly is it supposed to be?" Ash asked gingerly lifting at what appeared to be a pale blue wing.

"It says here that you're a fairy prince," Brock said reading off the label.

"You mean I'm a freaking fairy!" Ash exclaimed.  "You mean she expects me to show up to this thing as a bloody fairy."

"Looks that way," Brock shrugged.  "Anyway," Brock continued, "at least you wont' be alone Parker has to wear wings too, his are all pretty and fluffy

"What did he get stuck as?" Ash asked.  "An angel?"

"Of course not, that would be far to obvious."

"Then what?"

"A seraphim," Parker replied as he walked in holding up a beautifully and intricately made costume complete with feathery white wings and halo.

Both Ash and Brock doubled over with laughter as Parker held the halo over his head.

"At least you don't have to wear a dress," Ash offered as his laughter died down.

"I'm not gong to laugh or complain," Parker promised himself.  "Melody went to a lot of trouble to makes these so I'm not going to complain.  I'm the highest ranking angel in the angel hierarchy and I will not complain."

"Well, I guess its kind of cool looking without the halo and wings," Brock shrugged trying to be supportive.

"I guess," Parker sighed.  "But I would have preferred to be a devil."

"At least you get to wear pants," Ash said looking slightly distastefully at his own costume.  "I mean, what the hell are these things?"

"I don't know," Brock told him, "but I'm sure as hell glad that I'm Demetre."

_I Misty Waterflower of sound body and semi sound mind would like to announce that after careful consideration that in an effort to conserve the last of my sanity have decided to disregard all kisses received from Ash Ketchum and any emotions that may or may not have been attached to these for mentioned kisses.  _

_So there!_

_I thought about it long and hard and after about two days sick in bed have come to the conclusion that if I think about it any more I will honestly go crazy and I'm sure I'm already on the brink of sanity.  Scratch that, sanities like here and I'm somewhere down the other end of the world.  _

_So I decided to forget about it all, I mean its not like things aren't already complicated enough without throwing in a few kisses here and there and an 'I love you'._

_Oh great, you know I had almost forgotten about that.  Now that's something that I really need to disregard if I want to keep sane.  I mean how the hell am I supposed to stay on the thin red line that keeps me here when Ash keeps throwing things like that at me to make me fall._

_Thanks Ash._

_You know what we really need to do is just sit down and have a nice old discussion about what the hell is going on here and exactly where we stand.  Are we friends?  More?  Less?  Is there something going on here that neither of us are brave enough to admit to?  Or am I as crazy as I think I am?_

_Yes, Misty Waterflower, the self-proclaimed lunatic.  And damn you Ash, I swear its all his fault.  I mean, I know that I was perfectly sane before he decided to just . . . swim into my life, no bad pun.  I was perfectly fine until he dropped into my lap, until he just broke down the walls and pushed his way into my life._

_Those walls were perfectly fine the way they were.  Nobody hassled me; it sure as heck made dealing with my sisters a hell of a lot easier without all the freaking emotions to deal with.  The walls were good, I never got to close, I never got attached to people so when they didn't turn out to be who I thought they were, when they hurt me or when they just up and left, I didn't care.  People walked in and out of my life, I remained withdrawn and emotionless like I was on the other side looking in feeling nothing for the world around me._

_With the wall all that really mattered were my Pokemon.  I didn't cry when I saw others crying, I didn't cry myself when I could help it only crying when it was completely inescapable.  I didn't care if someone was hurt other than my sisters and father.  I didn't put someone else's happiness above my own.  I didn't care if people cried, if it was my fault they were upset, and I didn't care._

_I was like a shell of a human being with only the necessary organs, no heart.  Well at least not the metaphorical heart just a plain old ordinary heart that I hope will continue beating without Ash.  Sure, my metaphorical heart would die along with him, it would break into thousands of tiny pieces just to know that he didn't feel the same but maybe the physical one will keep on beating until it runs out of breath, keep on clinging to the last strands of hope._

_Sometimes I look around me and I feel like an outcast, a misfit, and the odd one out.  I feel like I don't belong, like a lonely heart lost in a world of love, vulnerable and desperate for affection.  I feel unseen hidden in the shadows invisible to all the happy couples around me, I feel nonexistent a lost cause better best forgotten._

_I wish I was still a shell, unfeeling, untouched, unaffected by the world around me.  I wish I had only the essential organs, I wish I didn't have my metaphorical heart._

_No, that's a lie.  I don't wish that I were without one of the most precious things known to man.  No, I only wish that mine were reciprocated._

_I guess that no matter how bad things get all I really want is for Ash to feel the same.  I mean everything could just fall apart at the seams, it could all just crumble away to nothingness, I could lose everything dear to me, give up on my dreams and everything would really be as bad as it seems but still if in those times I only had the one wish that could put my life back together again, that could pick up all the pieces and fit them into the right places I would still wish for Ash._

_Is it really as bad as I make it out to be?_

_Maybe, maybe not but at least I'm safe this way._

_The walls, they didn't just happen, just appear out of nowhere.  Those walls were built up after years of getting hurt.  I use to be vulnerable, trusting if you want to call it that, maybe even innocent but I just call it naïve and stupid.  I learnt that people take advantage of you when you open you're heart to them, so I stopped, I hid it behind a wall where people couldn't get to it.  The walls protected me, from all the pain, the suffering from the world._

_But Ash opened them, my heart was opened again and I wore it on my sleeve where it could be broken easily.  I was poor naïve Misty again who trusted everyone.  I know it was stupid but I guess I couldn't help it, I opened my heart to the world again, and again the world broke it in two._

_Actually it was Ash, but to tell the truth, Ash is my world.  I get the feeling that if he were to just disappear, everything else would just disappear along with him and I don't think that I could handle that a second time round._

_So all I can do is pray that he doesn't disappear, that I can wake up tomorrow and he will still be somewhere out there so close I could almost reach out and touch him._

_I hope he's still there._

I'm so scared that the way that I feel 

_Is written all over my face_

_When you walk into a room_

_I want to find a hiding place_

_We used to laugh, we used to hug_

_The way that old friends do_

_But now a smile and a touch of your hand_

_Just make me come unglued_

_It's such a contradiction_

_Do I lie or tell the truth?_

_Is it fact or fiction?_

_The way I feel for you_

_It's so complicated_

_I'm so frustrated_

_I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away_

_I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay_

_Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel?_

_Oh I want you to know_

_But then again I don't_

_It's so complicated_

_Just when I think I'm under control_

_I think I've finally got a grip_

_Another friend tells me that_

_My name is always on your lips_

_They say I'm more than just a friend_

_They say I must be blind_

_Well I admit I've seen you watch me_

_From the corner of your eye_

_Oh it's so confusing_

_I wish I could confess_

_But think of what I'd be losing_

_If your answer wasn't yes_

_It's so complicated_

_I'm so frustrated_

_I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away_

_I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay_

_Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel?_

_Oh I want you to know_

_But then again I don't_

_It's so complicated_

_I hate it 'cause I've waited so long_

_For someone like you_

_Should I say it?_

_Should I tell you how I feel?_

_I want you to know_

_But then again I don't_

Is so complicated 

_(Carolyn Dawn Johnson 'Complicated')_

Misty sat there, just staring at them.

She didn't know what else she could do, she didn't want to do anything else, and so she just sat there, staring at them.

They were beautiful, that was for sure.  They were perfect, so much so that she could tell from her position across the room.  They smelt amazing; they were brilliant shades of blue, red and yellow.

"He loves me, he loves me not," she whispered to herself willing the petals off the delicate stems of the flowers.

She didn't want to move, she didn't want to get any closer than she already was, so she just continued to stare while her mind tried to comprehend it all.

Merely minutes ago she had vowed not to think about him, she had sworn off him altogether.  Well at least as much as her mind would let her, which wasn't really much at all, but she had done it.  She had said she would forget about him, his kiss, his eyes, his hair, his smile, his laugh, even that stupid little hat and she hated breaking promises.

But no, she couldn't do that could she.  No, he just had to go and be the sweetest guy as per bloody usual and go buy her this gorgeous bunch of flowers with a cute little get well soon card.

"He loves me," she said pulling at an invisible flower in her mind.

She thought she could do it.  She honestly thought that she could go five minutes without thinking about him, but she was just kidding herself.

She could barely go five seconds, let alone five minutes without thinking about him, how on earth did she go five years without seeing him?

This was torture for her.  She knew he wasn't far, maybe one minute's walk in the right direction.  She knew she could just go over there right now and he would welcome her in with open arms, wrap himself around her and tell her everything she had wanted to hear for the last nine years.  Well maybe not everything she wanted to hear, but what he could tell her was more than enough, but she couldn't bring herself to move.

So she didn't.  She tried to but all she could do was just sit and stare.

"He loves me not," she whispered pulling off another imaginary petal from her imaginary flower.

She felt like a little kid again, making daisy chains and putting her entire life in the hands of a flower.  Could she do it?  Could she really just sit here asking a flower for the answers she'd been searching for her entire life?

She couldn't.  She could barely entrust into the hands of another human being, let alone a coin, which she knew, was far more reliable.  The coin had the same odds she had worked out in her head.  It was fifty – fifty unless you believed that stuff about the heads side being heavier, but basically it was the same and she liked those odds.  But flowers, the odds seemed as though they were against her, there were just too many petals to count and she couldn't tell which one held her answer.

"He loves me," she said again yet another petal falling from her imaginary flower.

Maybe she could just sit there and watch them, there's nothing wrong with that.  The flowers couldn't possibly hurt her, could they?

She didn't know.  

She thought Ash couldn't hurt, how wrong could she be?  

He was the one person who could actually hurt her, the one person who could break down the walls around her heart.  He was the only person who mattered, the only one that mattered enough to hurt her in the worst possible way.  He was the only one who mattered enough to break her heart in two with only a few simple words.

"He loves me not."

Misty closed her eyes and watched her petal float through the air.  It fell too slow it made her wait too long for the next one, the one she wanted to fall.

As a little girl she had learnt not to love, she'd learnt the hard way watching those she loved pulled away from her until all she had left were her sisters.  She loved her sisters, but she had built the walls so that they couldn't get to her, so that they couldn't hurt her, so they wouldn't get to her heart and then be pulled away from her at the last possible moment.

She didn't want to have to put a wall between herself and the world, but the strong Misty that people see on the outside is just a clever disguise for the little girl hiding inside.  She needed the wall to protect herself.  But what she needed was to be loved.

What she needed was Ash.

"He loves me . . ."

~ to be continued ~

Does anyone else actually remember doing that when they were little?  Oh those were the days.  By the way I'm suffering from severe and sudden outburst of nostalgia, and to think I'm only 15!  Yesterday I started reading the faraway tree, you know with Fanny and Dick (that's just sick and illegal in 49 states, I mean their cousins and their only kids).

So anyway, hope y'all liked that chapter and I hope nobody carked it (my current favorite NZ word) while reading this chapter.  Please review, thanks for all the ones I've received thus far.


	23. More Than Words

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

I would like to apologize to Stephanie in advance for the first part because its just to add a little drama, it is not based on true experiences and there isn't much truth in it at all apart from a few tidbits in the descriptions.

Reasons of the Heart – More Than Words

"No!" Jessica screamed at the top of her lungs jarring Misty from her peaceful slumber.

"Why not?" Stephanie Otecco yelled back not nearly as loud as Jessica as she hadn't had nearly as much practice.  She wasn't one to fight; she was usually playing the part of peacekeeper between Jessica and basically everybody, especially Anya and Misty.  

You see, Jessica had very strong beliefs on what was right, her usually and anyone who felt differently didn't for much longer.  The only ones who really dared to disagree were Anya and Misty who's belief in what was right was almost as strong as Jessica's.  This usually ended in petty disputes about who was hotter and what movies just suck.

But this was far from petty, for once she was actually arguing about something important rather than Justin Timberlake's natural hair color.  (A/N: Societies burning question)

"Because I am," Jessica yelled back her voice slightly quieter than before and lacking its usual conviction.

"Guys, do you even know what time it is?" Misty asked stepping out of her room wiping the sleep from her eyes.

Jessica looked at her as though she had just sprouted a third eye.

_'No duh, Jessica doesn't wear a watch,'_ Misty thought to herself remembering all the times Jessica had been late because of that fact.  Time supposedly stopped for Jessica Davis, at least according to her, but nobody had really seen it take place.

"Fine, let me rephrase that," Misty stated.  "Why the hell are you guys fighting?"

"Ask her," they both replied angrily.

The whole thing just seemed wrong to Misty.  Stephanie who usually stopped Jessica from fighting with people, almost matching Jessica's glare and herself who was usually fighting with Jessica, playing peace maker.

_'It would be like me and Brock fighting and Ash trying to break us up,'_ Misty smiled thoughtfully to herself.

"What's so funny?" Stephanie asked.  

"Do we even need to ask what you're smiling about?" Jessica said eyebrows raised and a sly smile playing on her face as she saw the slightly dreamy look on Misty's face.  

"Shhh," Misty hissed glaring at Jessica.  "Now tell me what the hells going on."

"She said she was going to ask Shane to the dance," Jessica said raising her head in her usual superior manner and turning her back on Stephanie.

"I was only kidding at first, but now I really think about it maybe I will," Stephanie replied.  "I mean she broke up with him a whole year ago so what right does she have over him anyway?"

"I'd appreciate if you didn't talk about me like I wasn't even there and for your information it was a joint decision," Jessica said huffily turning back her arms crossed over her chest.  "We decided to split because we didn't have the time and we were busy with our studies.  We thought that maybe it would help us grow."

"Sure," Stephanie said bitterly.  "I bet that's what you told yourself while you were lip locked with Ben last summer."  Stephanie regretted the words the moment they came out of her mouth.  She wasn't usually like this; she wasn't usually such a bitter person and usually never even got in fights.  It was totally out of character and even Misty looked surprised.

Jessica on the other hand looked like she was about to cry.  You could see the tears welled in her eyes, but she promised she wouldn't cry.  She promised herself that she wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of letting her tears fall, especially not Stephanie.  

So she held them back and hardened her jaw then spat her next words out distastefully.  "That was low Stephanie," she said her voice quiet.  "That was really low.  If you remember, Ben asked me out like way after we split and you were one of the people who convinced me to go out with him.  I was really upset when Shane and I broke up and Ben was just really cute and fun, nothing serious and we both knew that.  And secondly, I'm not the only one who saw other people Shane did too, Mandy for one."

Misty scoffed at the name; she hated that girl so much.  "Mandy's a slut," she said.  "She'll jump anything with two legs and a dick."

Jessica didn't reply but continued to blink back the tears that threatened to come.  Sure Ben had been cute with his brilliant blue eyes, brown hair and sexy English accent (A/N: I love English accents), but he was no Shane and it really hurt that one of her best friends could practically imply that she was some kind of whore that jumped from guy to guy.

"Jess, I didn't mean it," Stephanie started.

Misty looked between the two.  

"You know, why don't we forget everything that was said and figure this out properly?" she suggested.

Jessica shrugged and looked down while Stephanie nodded hoping Jessica would agree to forget about what she had just said.

"How about this?" Misty said.  "I'm going to call Shane and I'm going to ask him which of you he wants to go with.  Now you have to promise that if he doesn't choose you, you won't feel bad and you won't be mad at each other.  Promise?"

"Promise," they both said quietly.

So Misty walked to the phone and began dialing the frats number.

"Hello," a male voice answered almost straightaway that she immediately recognized as Ash's.

"Uh . . ." she stuttered nervously her cheeks burning a bright shade of red, "hey Ash."

"Hey Myst, what's up?" he replied slightly confused.  "Is this about tomorrows meeting?"

"Uh, no I was wondering if you could get Shane for me," she asked.  "Please," she added hoping he wouldn't be able to refuse.

"Sure, I'll be just a sec."

There was a pause on the other side as Ash went to get Shane.

"Hello?" Shane asked as he picked up the phone.

"Hey Shane, its Misty," she replied.

"Hey, so what's the deal?" he asked.

"What deal?" she asked with mock defensiveness.  

Jessica gave her a warning look.

"Look I'll get straight to the point," she sighed.  "Are you going with anyone to the dance?"

"Misty, that's great and all and I really am flattered, but I thought we were just friends so sorry no," he told her after a moments shock.  "I mean, shouldn't you be going with Ash anyway, I mean there's the whole tradition thing and last I heard you two were head over heals for each other."

"Aw how cute," Jessica sighed as Misty's blush got that much more noticeable.  She loved romance and figured that some where between picking up the phone and finding out who he liked the conversations had found its way to Ash.  It always found it's way to Ash.  Sometimes she found that Ash and Misty were just too cute for words.

"I didn't mean it like that," Misty yelled into the phone angrily.

"So that means that you are going with Ash, right?" he asked.

"NO it doesn't," Misty screamed.  "Is there anyone in particular you want to take?"

"Well there's this one girl, but I'm not sure," he shrugged.

"Look, I know this girl that wants to ask you but she wants to know if you'd want to go with her so if you kind of told me who you wanted to go with this would be a hell of a lot easier."

"Fine," Shane sighed.  "I was thinking about asking Jessica, ok?"

"Oh my gosh, really?" Misty asked.  "Bye," she said quickly hanging up the phone.

"What did he say?" Jessica asked nervously.

"Sorry Steff, he chose Jess," Misty said apologetically.

"Its ok," Stephanie shrugged.  "I guess you deserve it anyway," she said giving Jessica a hopeful smile.

Jessica smiled back.

"I'm really sorry about the things I said," Stephanie added.

"Yeah, me too.  I'm sorry I called you a worthless know it all tart," Jessica replied.  "Friends?" she asked holding out her hand.

"Friends," Stephanie nodded taking Jessica's.  "Wait a sec," Stephanie said suddenly.  "You didn't call me a worthless know it all tart."

"Well not to your face, duh," Jessica replied a smile forming on her face.

Misty smiled glad to see things back the way they should be.

"What did Misty want?" Ash asked as Shane walked into the room.

"She wanted to know if I was going to the dance with anyone?" Shane replied.

Ash gasped and you could practically see his heart breaking through his eyes.

"Gees man," Shane sighed.  "You really do have it bad, I mean I thought that Tracey was exaggerating when you called Misty sweet and harmless . . ."

"But Misty is sweet," Ash replied still confused as to why nobody else saw her like that.  He felt as though there was his Misty and then some other Misty that everyone else saw.

Shane shook his head in humorous pity.  "She was asking for her friend," Shane told him.  "Anyway, rules say she has to go with you."

"Why do people keep saying that?" Ash asked.  "It wasn't funny the first time when Brock said it and it isn't funny now."

"Well it may not be written down in stone," Shane told him, "but it's an unwritten rule for them and those are the ones that really matter.  She'll go with you even if Melody and Jess have to drag her down here themselves."

"Sure," Ash replied sarcastically.  "You know the problem with any unwritten rule is that you don't know where to go to erase it."  Shane shook his head and rolled his eyes.  "Look," Ash said, "call me when pigs start flying and someone figures out what those things in my costume are."

_"Saying I love you_

_Is not the words I want to hear from you_

_Its not that I want you_

_Not to say but if you only knew_

_How easy_

_It would be show me how you feel_

_More than words is all you have to do to make it real_

_Then you wouldn't have to say_

_That you love me_

_Cause I'd already know_

_What would you do if my heart was torn in two?_

_More than words to show you feel_

_That your love for me is real_

_What would you say if I took those words away?_

_And you couldn't make things new_

_Just by saying I love you_

_More than words_

_Now that I've tried to_

_Talk to you and make you understand_

_All that you have to do_

_Is close your eyes and just reach out your hands_

_And touch me_

_Hold me close_

_Don't ever let me go_

_More than words is all I ever needed you to show_

_Then you wouldn't have to say_

_That you love me_

_Cause I'd already know_

_What would you do if my heart was torn in two?_

_More than words to show you feel_

_That your love for me is real_

_What would you say if I took those words away?_

_And you couldn't make things new_

_Just by saying I love you."_

_('More Than Words' Westlife/BB Mak)_

Misty sang along softly to the song playing behind her own voice.  It was one of her favorites and just like every other song in her CD collection it made her think of Ash.

She wasn't quite sure why anymore.  A lot of the time they didn't make sense, but very little that concerned Ash even mildly did.

She sometimes found that even she didn't make sense anymore.  She felt like she was constantly contradicting every promise she had ever made to herself. 

She had promised that she would let Ash get to her as she sat down preparing for her first class.  But he had, he sparked every emotion, every feeling buried within in her, some good, some bad and some she didn't even realize existed but all because of Ash.

She had promised herself as she recognized his beautiful chocolate brown eyes and his knowing smile that first day that she wouldn't forgive him for what he had done.  But now that was all she wanted to do.

She had promised she would never ever let Ash Ketchum back into her life that day as she ran from the clearing.  She had promised that she would keep him out forever.  But then she hadn't exactly let him in; he just magically appeared, just like he always did.

She had promised that she would never cry again as she spent almost a year locked in her room as tears flowed down her face ceasing to stop.  She had promised that she would never let Ash be the reason she cried; never let him get close enough to make her cry.  But in a matter of seconds, he was right back where he'd always been picking off where he left off as if he had always just been there and as soon as she was alone, she was crying, just like she always did.

She had promised herself she could live without him as she found herself crying yet again without understanding why or how to stop.  But only a few months later she knew it was a lie, that she couldn't live, couldn't breathe, she couldn't be without Ash.  And maybe that was the worst lie of all.

And as those few words came out of his mouth, she promised she would never fall in love again, not with him, not anyone. 

She broken that promise too, it was the easiest to break and the one that she had hoped would survive.  It didn't take long to break, maybe it was already broken from the start, but she definitely broke it the moment she knew that she was in love with him.  Maybe even before that, maybe earlier, maybe she never meant to make that promise.

For she never truly stopped loving him, if she was honest she knew she could never stop.  At first it was scary, knowing that no matter what she did, she was in love with Ash and there was very little she could actually do about it, but now, she was calm she didn't care that she had lost control over that part of her life and she was happy to know that she would always be in love with Ash.

She just needed to know.  She needed to know that maybe he cared, that maybe he loved her too.  She needed him to tell her everything she had dreamed of for so long, all the things she felt in her own heart.

She needed him to kiss her, to whisper sweet nothings in her ear and to tell her he was there now and that she would never be alone ever again.

Because maybe that was what scared her more than anything else put together.

She hated being alone; she hated it more than anything else in this world.  That was part of the reason she had followed him.  Only a small portion was the bike, not enough to really care about.  

If someone else had floated down that river that day, she would have followed him or her, not Ash.

But she got the feeling that things wouldn't be any different.

She believed in fate and destiny and she knew that it was her destiny to be in love with Ash, that if anyone else had been there that day she would still be right where she was, pinning over Ash.  

The path would have changed along the road, maybe it would have taken different turns, gone different directions, but eventually they would have crossed, she would have found Ash, or maybe he would have found her, but somehow things would just find their way.  The pieces would just fall into place, like they were meant to.

It was her fate, her destiny and everything she ever dreamed of.

~ to be continued ~

You know when I started writing this story I really didn't expect to get to chapter 23 and still not be finished.

I'm hope you liked that chapter and that it wasn't too mank (my current favorite English word), so wish me luck for the next chapter, which I'm probably already writing as you, read this.

Please Review.

Also please read 'Beyond the Shadows' it isn't half bad and I'd really appreciate it.


	24. BarenakedPhase Two

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon, some rather conceited (not that I can talk) guy named Satoshi who named the main character after himself (not Pikachu) does.  

Sorry to take so long but I was suffering from torrential writers block again as i always am and just couldn't think of anything to write.

And to Kris and Steff I want you two to try and guess who Melissa is loosely based around in this chapter.  There is a very major clue in there.

Reasons of the Heart – Barenaked or Phase two

_'Its all I ever think of, its everything that I need to do and it's the only thing that could possibly bring her back to me.'_

This single thought sent shivers up and down his spine and made him very nervous.  The dance was just under three weeks away now and Ash needed help.

Every time he thought about her, he longed to tell her then and there, but he had to wait.  It all had to be perfect, he was going to make sure of that and hope maybe it would all work out this time.

But it was hard.  It was hard to see her walking by and not tell her.

He got the feeling that he wasn't going to be able to work this out on his own, but who could he ask?  He couldn't get his friends help, they had already tried and failed, you could tell by the frustrated looks they sent him and Misty when they thought he wasn't looking.  He also didn't trust them to keep it to themselves and not tell their girlfriends who were sure to tell Misty or to tell somebody else that would, heck Parker was dating one of the biggest gossip in the entire school.  Brock was probably dating the other.

So that left him with very few options.   He could try Misty's sisters but then as far as he knew that was like going straight to Misty and telling her himself.

It seemed that the best option was just to brave it alone.  He didn't want to risk her knowing too soon by bringing others into the plan.  

She was the one thing in his life that he would never risk, the one thing that he would never leave to chance.  So he never did.  He always made sure anything concerning Misty was perfect because to him she deserved nothing less than perfection.

So he tried to be perfect, to excel her expectations.  For years he tried to be everything she wanted, at least everything he thought she wanted.  But girls were confusing and Misty even more so, it seemed no matter how hard he tried he just kept moving backwards.

He finally just gave up and decided to be his own imperfect self and hope it would suffice and it seemed that that was his best plan yet.

He just hoped he wouldn't have to spend another year watching Misty from a distance just wishing she were his.

_Do you ever have that dream_

_Where you're walking naked down the street_

_And everyone just stares_

_Did you ever feel so deep_

_That you speak your mind _

_To put others straight to sleep_

_You wonder if anybody cares_

_Sometimes I think I'm the only one_

_Whose day turned out unlike it had begun_

_And I feel barenaked_

_And I just can't take it_

_I'm getting jaded_

_No I just can't fake it anymore_

_'Cuz I'm bare naked_

_And I know life's what you make it_

_Wish I could float away _

_To some other day_

_You ever go down stairs to start your day_

_But your car's not there_

_Yeah you know the jokes on you_

_Did you ever try your luck?_

_With a pick up line but you just sucked_

_You tell yourself it wasn't you_

_And I know it's hard to hold it inside_

_Its days like these I run and hide_

_When I feel barenaked_

_And I just can't take it_

_I'm getting jaded_

_No I just can't fake it anymore_

_'Cuz I'm bare naked_

_And I know life's what you make it_

_Wish I could float away _

_To some other day_

_It's all a state of mind_

_But I don't mind trying to find a way_

_To keep my head above the mess I make_

_What the world creates_

_Sometimes it feels so good to let it all fall_

_As the world fall_

_I may fall_

_We all may fall_

_And then the world comes tumbling _

_Down down down down down_

_And I feel barenaked_

_And I just can't take it_

_I'm getting jaded_

_No I just can't fake it anymore_

_'Cuz I'm bare naked_

_And I know life's what you make it_

_Wish I could float away _

_To some other day_

_When I feel . . . feel {barenaked} . . . feel_

_When I feel_

_Yeah no no no_

_(Jennifer Love Hewitt 'Barenaked')_

Misty sat cross-legged in the middle of her room taking deep breaths in and out.

She wasn't usually one of those new age fools with their herbal cigarettes and inventive yoga but sometimes stress required it of her.

Misty rarely got stressed, she usually just got angry kind of like the whole "it take 49 muscles to frown and only 4 to punch that son of a bitch in the face" thing.  There was only one thing that got her this stressed and she wouldn't dare touch a hair on his cute little head.

As you can guess, she had a meeting in half an hour with none other Ash.  So she was stressed to the max.  She didn't know what to wear, what to say and it didn't help that she hadn't seen him in three days and that was all she wanted to do right now.

To see his smiling face, to hear his voice, to feel his lips against . . . 

_'Stop,' her mind cried out before she could finish that thought.  __'Don not go there Misty if you want to keep what's left of your sanity for another year.'_

She closed her eyes trying to stop herself from picturing the dead vase of flowers sitting in the corner.  She hadn't gone near them, she hadn't moved them to the sunlight, changed the water, and she'd even gone so far as to thrown a towel over them so she wouldn't have to look at them when they first started to die.

She didn't even know what she was getting so upset about; it was just a vase of flowers.  They weren't even Venus fly traps, they couldn't even harm a fly if they wanted to, so why was she going to so much trouble to stay as far away from them as possible?

God, she wished that Ash wasn't so damn perfect and gentlemen like.  He never made this any easier.

He always made it harder to hate him, not that she did she'd given up on that just too long ago to even bother recalling.  It was no wonder that she had tried so hard to deny it, especially when he did things like this, sending her a gorgeous bouquet of flowers when she was sick, and threatening to come over and make her soup, even though he had only really just gotten over the flu himself.

"Breathe in, breathe out," she said quietly as she tried to remember Melody's meditation exercise she raved on about.

"Like talking to yourself is going to make it any easier to forget him," she muttered to herself.

She tried to clear her mind but all that did was make more room for Ash in it.  She even tried focusing on something but her mind always strayed.  Her mind only wanted to focus on one thing and it just so happened that he would be coming over in somewhere between twenty-five and twenty nine minutes.

"Lucky me," she muttered.

She closed her eyes and tried the meditation thing again.

_'Deep breaths.  In and out.  In and out.'_

It was strange.  As long as she kept repeating those words to herself she could focus elsewhere and she was actually starting to feel calmer.  Her deep breaths didn't seem quite so forced now as they did before.

_'Maybe this new age crap actually works,' she mused to herself as she calmly took another breath in and out.  __'A few more minutes of this and I might just be able to figure out what to wear.'_

Misty took four more deep breaths in and out.  _'Maybe I'll wear my new jeans,' she pondered to herself feeling more excited about the meeting than she was anxious.  __'No wait, I lent them to Melody who knows what they look like now.  How about those cute black pinstripe pants that make me look about ten pounds lighter?  I'm sure Ash would love them.'_

_'No don't you dare go there,' she practically screamed at herself.  __'Don't you dare start considering what Ash might think and start dressing to his preferences.  You've already been warned about your sanity and that's something you want to cling to at all costs.'_

_'Fine, I'll wear those cute black pinstripe pants because I love them, happy now?  Now leave me alone so I can figure out what top to wear.  Maybe the nice violet one . . .'_

She was jarred from her thoughts by the phone ringing.

_'Oh god, what if it's Ash? What if he's not coming?' she worried._

"Hello, Misty Waterflower speaking," she said overly perkily as she picked up the phone.

"Look out the window," said a voice that appeared to be male.

"Who is this?" Misty asked as she walked to the window.

The voice sounded vaguely familiar though no matter how she tried she couldn't place her finger on it.  Maybe it was because she had mentally blocked it with the hope that she would never have to hear it again, or maybe she just forgot.

She smiled as she noticed Ash walking towards her sorority house suddenly presuming that this was some sort of sweet romantic trick he was playing with her.

_'OH MY GOSH,' she suddenly realized.  __'Ash is almost here and I'm still in my pyjamas.'_

She was about to go stress out and rush to get changed when she noticed something.  There was a girl chasing after Ash who looked a lot more familiar than the voice.

Clad in go-go boots and a whorish fake-leather and lace outfit was none other than Melissa Simmons, the only girl on campus trashy and classless enough to be seen in such an outfit.

Melissa ran around so she was standing in front of Ash and struck a pose.

Ash rolled his eyes and dodge past her trying his best to ignore her.

"Hey Ash," Melissa said flirtatiously her voice sounding sugary sweet and definitely fake.  "I've been looking for you every."  She giggled as if she had just cracked a joke and stood there expecting him to laugh with her.

Ash was beginning to get aggravated and walked faster to get away.  He had a feeling that her outfit hadn't been chosen because of its aerodynamic properties.

She giggled again and tried to catch up to him.  He hated that laugh, it was disgusting and air headed sounding more like a chimpanzee than anything human.  It was ugly, not like Misty's laugh.  Misty's laugh was beautiful, it was like music silky and smooth just the thought tugging a smile to his lips.

"I see I've gotten to you," she said seeing the smile on his lips.

He suddenly remembered what the hurry was as he suddenly remembered that Melissa was still there and the smile faded from his face.

"Please go away," Ash asked her nonchalantly.

"Oh you don't mean that sweetie," she said.  "I saw that smile."

_'She should really lease all that space out,' he thought to himself thinking about what Misty would say if he told her that._

"I'd appreciate if you didn't call me 'sweetie'," Ash told her quite distastefully.  "And if you wouldn't mind I have an important meeting to get to so I'd be quite grateful if you just left me alone."

"Oh Ash," she teased giggling again.  It occurred to Ash just how much she sounded like a horse even when she wasn't talking.  "You're so cute."

Ash sighed.  "What do you want?" he asked aggravated giving up his escape and stopping with his back towards her.

"This," she said as she grabbed Ash's arm pulling him towards her and forcing her lips onto his.

Ash pushed her off straight away not even letting her lips touch his for more than a second.  He immediately felt dirty and like he was going to be sick.  He felt the need to wash all over and burn his clothes to remove all traces of Melissa Simmons.

"Just get away from me Melissa," Ash said.  "Are you trying to get your boyfriend beaten up?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Chances are she wasn't playing dumb, that she actually was as stupid as she looked and sounded.

"Forget it, you wouldn't understand even if I put it in lame-men's terms, too many big words for your liking," Ash sighed as he started to walk away.  "Just stay out of my way and tell your boyfriend the same."

Misty ducked down as she saw Ash turning in her direction.  He looked angry, like he was about to kill someone.  

As she watched him get closer she suddenly realized that he was going to be there in about a minute and that she had to change or somebody else would get the door.

She pulled through her draws looking for the perfect outfit she had planed out in her head, something classy and sophisticated that would be the complete opposite of Melissa.

She raced down the stairs as she heard a knock on the door pushing people out the way as she ran to the door.

She took a deep breath to compose herself and a glimpse in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable, before calmly opening the door.

"Hey Ash," she said semi-nonchalantly.  "I didn't expect you here for another ten minutes."

"Yeah well I wanted to make sure everything was sorted before we gave out the tasks."

"Do you want me to take your jacket?" Misty asked, "It's pretty warm inside."

"I wouldn't touch it, I think I've been contaminated for life," he replied taking his jacket off himself touching it gingerly like he didn't want to touch it for more than a second.

"Why?" she asked.  She had a pretty fair idea of what he was talking about but she knew it was best to let him explain.

"Melissa Simmons just kissed me," Ash said.

Misty bit her lip nervously.  She knew that she should tell Ash but she wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"Well I think it might have been a setup," Misty said.  "I got a phone call just before she did telling me to look out the window."

"Oh I . . ." Ash started to say suddenly feeling extremely guilty and that he had to explain himself.  Sure he felt a little guilty but he shoed it away trying to convince himself there was no need to feel guilty, it's not like him and Misty were a couple or anything but now all logic went out the window.

But then Misty didn't look angry or upset, she actually looked strangely amused.

"That's round three to us," she said victoriously.

"I guess it is," Ash said quite relieved to find that there wasn't even the tiniest hint of anger in her voice.

"He's not doing a very good job living up to the war threat, is he?" Misty smiled.  "You know I was actually kind of worried about that but now.  Will's nothing more than a cheap prankster with nothing better to do then seek out his 'vengence'."

Ash smiled and finally got a good look at Misty now that all the drama and stress was over.  She wore a short black strapless dress over a white off shoulder falred sleeve top and black pinstripe bootlegs.

She was like a breath of fresh air after having Melissa trying to get up close and personal.

"You look great Myst," Ash said trying not to sound so much in awe and amazement.  He always thought Misty looked great but when he had the chance to tell her that he always sounded like he was surprised.

_'I told you he'd love it,' she thought to herself._

"Thanks Ash," she replied.  "You don't look half bad yourself."

Ash blushed and placed his hand behind his head nervously, a habbit he still held onto from his childhood days.  He wasn't use to Misty paying him compliments even if it was in her own subtle way, heck he was barely use to hearing Misty talk to him civilly yet.

"So why don't we check out those lists?" Ash suggested in an effort to change the subject.

Misty suppressed a laugh at his embarrassment.  "I'll just go grab them from my room," she told him.  "Just head to the lounge, you know where it is."

Ash chuckled and walked to the surprisingly empty lounge.

Suddenly, without Misty by him, the whole place seemed eerily quiet except for the quiet whispers and the smothered giggles from somewhere he didn't know.  Now and then he was positive he could hear his own name being hissed in hidden whispers along with Misty's followed by a giggle.

Ash tried to shake off the feeling crawling up and down his spine and waited patiently for Misty to return.

"Found it," Misty said as she entered the room holding up the sheets of paper.

 Ash smiled as he was again struck by how beautiful she looked.  Again he heard the giggles around him.

Misty scowled at the sound.  "I'll be back in a tick," she said as she disappeared again.

The giggles started the moment she left as they had been cut short by Misty's scowl.  

Then suddenly it all stopped, the giggles, the whispers, all of it.  And suddenly it was completely silent making Ash more aware of the fact that he was all alone in the lounge of a hundred year old house which probably had more than its fair share of ghost stories to tell.

"Right," Misty said coming back in dusting her hands.

"So what's figured out thus far?" Ash asked.

"Well I was thinking about putting Jessica and Melody in charge of decoration," Misty said.  "I know Melody's ideas can be a bit outrageous at times . . ." Misty trailed off.

"You haven't seen my costume yet," Ash sighed.

"Why?" she asked.

"I have wings and these weird things that Tracey said were knickerbockers or breechers and stoakings," he told her.

Misty giggled.  Ash was relieved to hear the gentle sound of Misty's laugh erasing all memories of Melissa's.  "What are you?" Misty asked.

"A fairy prince," Ash scoffed.

She laughed again.  "What kind of person would go to the dance with a fairy prince?" Misty said.  Ash laughed with her.

_'I don't know.  You, I mean, Thumbilina maybe?' her mind said almost maliciously._

Misty's laughter stopped abruptly as she realized just what kind of person would go to the dance with a fairy prince and that Melody was yet again trying to set her up.  _'She is so dead this time,' Misty thought angrily._

"Are you sure you're a fairy prince?" Misty asked hopefully.  She wasn't even sure what she was hoping for, whether it was to find that Ash wasn't a fairy prince or to find that he was.

Ash nodded.  "Have the proof right here," he said pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket.  He read off the piece of paper.  "Ash, here's your costume.  you are the fairy prince.  Signed Melody.  P. S. Don't tell Mist . . . opps."

Misty smiled despite herself and bit her lip.  "I won't tell if you won't," she told him.

"Deal," he said with a sigh of relief.  "So Myst, what are you going as?"

~ to be continued ~

I know this was a bit of a half assed chapter and that the last bit is just me being too lazy to think of anything more to write.  Please review it anyway, just because I'm lazy doesn't give you an excuse so just scroll down that little bit more and press the little go button down the bottom and with a little help it may help regain the last of my sanity.

Also while you're all sitting there listening to me rant on about nothing could you please all read my other Pokemon fic.  I know it isn't nearly as good but it's worth a glance over. 

Ok, now that I'm done read the bit before again and do exactly what it says before I have to resort to reverse psychology.


	25. Colourblind

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

Reasons of the Heart – Colour Blind

"So Myst, what are you going as?" Ash asked.

_'will he know?' Misty thought to herself.  __'If I told him, would he know exactly what that meant?'_

"Um . . ." Misty said her mind throwing questions at her.  "I'm not actually sure what I'm going as?" she lied.  "I told Melody to surprise me."

She battled her conscience hoping she wouldn't feel guilty, but she did.  She hated lying to Ash, she always had.  It was why she always found it easier to say nothing at all than to speak to Ash because there was so much she couldn't tell him no matter how much she wanted to.

But she couldn't tell him.  She'd made such a fuss about the stupid fairy prince thing, the truth just wasn't an option right now.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Ash asked.

"Hell no," Misty replied.  "I'm just a risk taker.  You can't go five years with a boy who insists on saving everybody and everything that moves without learning to take a few risks."

Ash smiled back at her.  She hadn't mentioned their younger days distastefully, it almost seemed as if she was recalling fond memories.  He suddenly felt just that little bit braver than before.  He wasn't dreading the dance nearly as much.

"So what are our jobs?" he asked, he didn't want her memories to turn sour.

"Oh we have the best jobs of all," Misty told him proudly.  "We get to sit back, relax and tell everybody else what to do."

"I could get use to that," Ash said relaxing into the couch.  "Do we have titles?"

"Of course, how else would I trick people into letting us do nothing all day and boss them around?" she asked.

"Mind control," Ash suggested.  "I've seen you do it, I know about your powers Myst."

"Oh yes Ash," she replied sinisterly with a hint of sarcasm.  "All along I just thought it was my charming magnetically irresistible personality that did it," she added with mock defensiveness pouting at him.

Ash laughed at her response.  She looked so cute right now, like a little child trying to get her way except in an of age sort of way.

"That too probably," Ash replied.  "The mystical Myst," he mused more to himself than Misty.

"That sounds about right to me," she said with a nod.

Ash shook his head.  "Now what were you saying about titles?"

"Oh yes," Misty smiled building up anticipation.  "Creative Directors."

"I like the sound of that," Ash smiled.  

Misty smiled back and caught a glimpse of the clock above the mantel piece.

"Boy does time fly," Misty gasped as she stared at the hands of the clock this time willing them to move backwards and give her some more time alone with Ash.

Ash looked over his shoulder towards the clock where she was staring.  He quickly covered his disappointed expression and hoped that Misty hadn't noticed.

She didn't, she was too busy trying to will back the hands of time and to cover her own disappointed expression when time wouldn't stop for her.

_'Time stops for Jessica Davis, but not Misty Waterflower,' she thought to herself disappointedly.  __'Life sucks.'_

She hated how unfair life always was, just when she wanted time to slow down and not to pass unusually quickly it finally did, and all the times she wanted to get the minutes over and done with they seemed to take hours.  Kind of like how it always seemed to take longer to get somewhere than to go home.

Time seemed to just rush by her when she was with Ash, she wasn't even aware of its presence or anyone elses for that matter.  But when he wasn't with him time seemed to be on a standstill as if it was taunting her and making her spend more lonely hours than she should away from Ash.

Speaking of not noticing anyone else . . .

"Melody," Misty said her eyes wide with shock, surprise and god knows what else.  "What, I mean, when did you get here?"

Melody smiled and bit her lip nervously.  "Just a few seconds ago," she said.  "I was coming to tell you that the frat were here and Ash wasn't with them."  She paused and smiled coyly making Misty blush and glare angrily in Melody's direction while Ash blushed and refused to meet Melody's gaze at the thought of what she was about to imply.  "But then I guess _you already knew that," she said joyously taking in Misty's look of almost horror._

"Oh, I just can't wait to boss around her scrawny little but," Misty muttered to Ash so Melody couldn't hear.

"You know what would really get her back," Ash whispered back right by her ear.

Misty could feel his warm breath on her neck and it sent tingles up and down her spine.  It was exhilarating, she felt her breath catch in the back of her throat and she dared not speak so as not to ruin it all and find out it was some sort of dream.

"Putting her and Parker in separate groups," he said moving away from her ear and talking in a stage whisper meant for Melody's ears.

Now it was Ash's turn to smile almost knowingly while Melody's face took on a look of horror and pure shock.

"You wouldn't?" she asked almost daring them to say they would.

"You never know," Misty shrugged now recovered from the shock and breathlessness she had felt before.  "We are the Creative Directors of this whole operation and what we say goes."

"Please Misty," Melody begged.  "I'll be your best friend forever and I won't tell anybody what you guys were doing in here."

"but we weren't doing anything," Ash said bewildered.

"don't argue with the girl," Misty warned.  "You don't know what crazy things are going on in that head of hers."

"And still you insist on putting her in charge of the decorations," Ash said still bewildered.

"No her and Jessica," Misty corrected.  "You really think I'm crazy enough to put her in charge on her own.  Melody's a control freak, even an ounce of power and she turns into a modern day Hitler, you really think I would let _that happen?"_

Misty shuddered at the thought of what had happened the last time anyone had given Melody that much power.  The whole scene had not been pretty especially when everyone had deserted the neo-nazi ruler except for herself and Sabrina who had tried to stay loyal to their friend.  Loyalty wasn't worth it and after a while they realized just how necessary it was to bring Melody back down to earth.

"that sounds like a recipie for trouble if you ask me," Ash shrugged.

"I have so much confidence in their skills as artistes that I am willing to look beyond their narcissistic tendencies and controlling instincts," Misty told him proudly.

"What does narcism have to do with any of this?" Ash asked.

"absolutely nothing," Misty told him, "I (A/N: by which I mean me) just like the sound of it."

"Excuse me," Melody suddenly piped up.  "I just wanted to check that you two realized that I was still in the room and that there is a room full of guys next door waiting for the all clear to send them in here."

"Oh yeah," Misty said blushing.

She scowled at Melody trying not to appear quite as annoyed as she was.  She had to keep up a psuedo image for Ash's sake, or maybe it was for her own either way she needed to keep up her walls.

Melody had just ruined all the fun she was having with Ash and she was honestly going to kill her next time she got the chance.  But for now, Ash was still there by her side and that was all that mattered.

_Feeling blue_

_When I'm trying to forget this feeling_

_That I miss you_

_Feeling green_

_When the jealousy wells and it won't _

_Go away in dreams_

_Feeling yellow_

_I'm confused inside a little hazy but mellow_

_When I feel your eyes on me_

_Feeling fine, sublime_

_When that smile of yours _

_Creeps into my mind_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light_

_You're the light_

_When I close my eyes_

_I'm colour blind_

_You make me colour blind_

_Feeling red_

_When you spend all you time with your friends_

_And not me instead_

_Feeling black_

_When I think about all of the things that_

_I feel I lack_

_Feeling jaded_

_When its not gone right_

_And all the colours have faded_

_Then I feel your eyes on me_

_Feeling fine, sublime_

_When that smile of yours _

_Creeps into my mind_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light_

_You're the light_

_When I close my eyes_

_I'm colour blind_

_You make me colour blind_

_Blinded by the light you shine_

_The colours fade completely_

_Blinded by you everytime_

_I feel your smile defeat me_

_I'm colour blind_

_I just can't deny this feeling_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light_

_You're the light_

_When I close my eyes_

_I'm colour blind_

_You make me colour blind_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light_

_You're the light_

_When I close my eyes_

_I'm colour blind_

_You make me colour blind_

_('Colour Blind' Darius)_

"So what your saying is," Jessica said staring at the two as if they had each suddenly sprouted an extra limb hear and there.  She began to stutter, strugling to get out the unfamiliar words.  "That, that I . . . have to . . . share?"

Suspiciously fakes tears sprung to the corners of Jessica's eyes as she got the words out and she held the same shocked expression Melody had when she had learnt the news.

Jessica had spent most of the meeting from the moment Ash and Misty had got up to stand at the front and address the group cooing to her best friend Krysanthia who sat beside her about what a perfect match the two made.  In turn Ash and Misty had spent a lot of the time hiding the blushes from each other too busy thinking about their own to even comprehend the others.

Jessica's ears had suddenly perked up and she had stopped her talking at the sound of the position she was hoping that her artistic talent would make her a shoe in for, head of the decorating committee.  

She had been shocked to find the position had been given to two people and even more so when she found that it was between herself and Melody.

It wasn't that she disliked Melody or anything, quite the contrary they usually got along great and they'd known each other long enough to put most differences aside.  It was just that both of them could be so controlling and longed for power like this and that at times like these their ideas would begin to clash.  Artistic differences weren't quite so easy to disregard especially with something quite as important as the equinox ball.

But they were going to have to, for Misty and for Ash.  

This ball could be their chance to finally find the happiness they longed for and she wasn't going to ruin if for them because of a few artisic differences.

"So when do we start?" 

~ to be continued ~

Yes another halfhearted effort at a good ending but its really hard when you have writers block, especially stupid writers block where the only way to get over it is to swear off Pokemon fics until I can write again.  How terrible is that?

Sorry again for the long wait but I'm trying to work through this writers block.

Please read my 'Beyond the Shadows' fic and please tell me what the strongest pokemon is, I really need to know that.

Please review.


	26. I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon, wish I did cos I probably wouldn't have aired anything after the orange islands and had a series that didn't revolve around the Pokemon.  I mean really, what kind of thing to do is that.

Reasons of the Heart – Can't Help Falling In Love With You

_Misty smiled up at the full moon that bathed her face in an almost heavenly glow._

_"Perfect," she whispered still looking at the sky which was exactly how she had always pictured._

_"What's perfect?" she heard someone ask in her ear as she felt to familiar arms wrap around her waist._

_She relaxed into their grasp loving the warmth, familiarity and the security she felt with those arms wrapped around her.  She liked the way that it felt so right.  She felt that if someone were to take all those things away from her, she would be lost forever._

_"Everything," she said turning around in his arms to face him._

_He looked perfect as ever his hair tossed by the wind, his chocolate brown eyes sparkling with joy and his smile lighting the sky more so than the moon.  He wore a simple silvergray kimono, a colour she had always found to bring out all the features she loved so much._

_She looked down at her own soft pink kimono skattered with darker cherry blossoms and embroided with gold suddenly confused by her costume._

_She wasn't where she had thought she would be, not even close.  She wasn't in her sisters beautiful, spacious quad surrounded by other couples in the same position. _

_They were all alone, staring out into the ocean crashing silently against the rocks as though it had purposely done this so as not to ruin the perfection above.  They were alone, in the middle of a dancefloor surrounded by fairylights while early snow scattered delicately around them.  They were at maidens peak, their peak._

_He stroked her face, lifting it towards his._

_"it seemed the best setting," he whispered before planting a gentle kiss on her lips._

_"it is," she said glad that her voice hadn't failed her after the simple earth shaking kiss he had bestowed upon her.  "its . . ."_

_"Perfect," he finished for her kissing he again._

_She nodded dumbly not trusting herself or voice to be able to control itself.  She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck as she tried to steady herself and stop her legs from turning to jelly._

_"How do I ever say no to you?" she asked as he kissed her again turning her entire body to jelly and sending her heart into an accelerated frenzy._

_"And I thought I was the one being put under a trance," he replied sending her his cute lopsided grin which made her want to melt into his arms.  "All you have to do is look at me and I'm under a spell that you seem totally unaware of casting."_

_"I wish I could make it all last forever," she sighed leaning into his chest as the danced to the soft tune traveling across the winds._

_"Don't wish," he said next to her ear kissing her cheek before he continued, "wishes don't always come true.  Just know that it will last forever."_

_"I know," she whispered back._

_Wise man say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can't help_

_Falling in love_

_With you_

_Shall I stay _

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help_

_Falling in love _

_With you_

_As a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

_Take my hand_

_Take my whole heart too_

_For I can't help_

_Falling in love with you_

_For I can't help_

_Falling in love with you_

_('Can't Help Falling in Love' by Elvis Presley)_

BEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!

misty opened her eyes regretably sad to find that her dream had ended far too soon, as they always did.

_'Damn alarm clock,' she thought glaring the blasted contraption as it continued to sound much to the aggravation of anyone in a twenty meter radius._

"Misty," she heard Melody groan through the wall.  "Could you turn that damn thing off before I have to come in there and do it myself."

"Sorry," Misty said quietly.  She'd been so busy glaring at the thing for waking her from one of her most precious dreams to flick the switch and end the constant beeping.

She had to coax herself out of bed this morning, she'd rather be anywhere than in class with Mr. Jordan and the dream only made it that much harder.  There wasn't anywhere she would rather be than up on Maidens Peak with Ash's arms wrapped tightly around her waist as they had in her dream.

Actually it didn't really matter where she was, just as long as she was with Ash she would be happy.  Those with Ash had always been her happiest and there was no doubt in her mind that they always would.

Too bad she couldn't just stay there a little bit longer just recalling the perfection of the dream, enjoying the pictures that played in her mind and putting her own finishing touches that consciousness allowed her to add to the story.

Now away from the inviting warmth of her comfy bed and the comforting softness of her pillow she found it easier to make her brain and muscles function and work through her regular morning ruotine.

"How wrong is it to have a class at eight thirty in the morning," she mused aloud as she pulled her things together still wiping the last ounces of sleep from her eyes.

She looked down at her wrist watch. Seven thirty.  She had more than enough time to grab a coffee from the café before heading to class.

She slung her bag of books over her shoulders and headed out the door without seeing anyone beside herself awake.  But then what did she expect, it was early Monday morning, half of them had probably wouldn't even get up before twelve whether they had classes or not.

She locked the door as she shut it and looked up at the place that had been her home away from home for almost a year. It was surprisingly tame look for the old victorian house that it was.  The inside was probably the scarey bit as it was inticately decorated with antiques of the same era and old portraits of previous members and the societies founders.

Many would probably be too scared to step past the parlor but to her and many of her housemates it was beautiful.

She smiled as she took a glance in the direction of the fraternity which they had been linked to at the beginning.  The direction she presumed Ash to be in and the opposite one to where she had to go.

She let out a regretful sigh as she headed towards her destination.

"Café Americano," she said as she reached the counter and placed her order of a coffee and a danish.  (A/N: has nobody ever heard of regular coffee?) 

She grabbed her food and sat down to eat.  She thought about all the events of the past year, of the five before that and basically any part of her life that involved Ash even minorly.

She just sat there for a long moment engrossed in her thoughts until she was pulled back to consciousness by a familiar voice calling her name.  A voice that she could never forget even if she wanted to.

Sorry to interrupt but I get the feeling that nobody reads the bit at the end.  See I have this other AAMRN, which I don't think is halfbad but very few people have read it.  So to try and "encourage" reader participation, the person who gets that story to twenty five reviews will receive an early, limited edition version of chapter thirty, cry.

Now on with the story

"Myst?" he asked again.

"Sorry," she replied.  "I guess I'm not quite awake yet."

"I'm surprised your even up this early," he said settling down in the chair opposite her.  "I remember when you wouldn't dare get up before nine."

"People change," she said with a smile and a shrug.

"so you finally realised that you don't need your beauty sleep nearly as much as you thought," he teased his chuckle easily becoming awkward as he realised the depth of his words.

It was only meant to be a joke about their younger days when she would yell at him if he tried to wake her, or accidently woke her even a second before nine because she needed her beauty sleep, but somehow without even realising it had taken on this deeper meaning.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean, mister?" Misty asked a slight giggle heard in her false annoyed tone.

"Nothing Misty," he said waving his hands in front of his face for protection.

"good," she said raising her head triuphantly.

"some things never change though," he teased sighing and shaking his head disapprovingly.

Misty stuck out her tongue in a childish manner and smiled to herself as she raised the coffee to her mouth.

It was strange the difference a year could make.  Last year 'people change' would have been said filled with malice or followed by a sad sigh as if reliving a bad memory, but now it was almost a joke, just part of casual conversation and she preferred it this way.

"So where are you heading?" Misty asked as they both headed out the door after they had finished.

"nowhere actually," he replied.  "I was thinking that maybe I could walk you to class."

"sometimes I don't think I'll ever understand you," Misty sighed looking at him with confusion.

"you will eventually," he told her, "and at that moment of enlightantment it will make milk spurt out of your nose or whatever drink you happen to be drinking at the time.  So, is that a yes or a no to letting me walk you to class?"

"Well only cos you asked so nicely," she said sarcastically.

"ok then," he said.  "Mi lady may I please have the absoulute pleasure of escorting you to class?" he asked holding out his arm to her.

"Much better," she said loading him with her bag full of psyche books.

"that wasn't what I had planned but sure," he said flipping the bag over his shoulder and keeping in step with her.

"thanks for that, my shoulders were really killing me," she said flashing him a grateful smile that only made him too ready to help.

"You should have told me Myst," he smiled, "I could have given you one of my infamous massages."

"And risk getting hurt worse?" she asked disbelievingly.  "I don't think so.  Anyway, be careful with that bag its got my laptop in it."

"That would explain why its so damn heavy."

Misty shrugged.  "C'mon Ash I'm sure you've carried heavier," she said.

"Like what?"

"like me for istance."

"Well I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it," he teased trailing off and giving her an innocent look.

She wacked him over the shoulder playfully before running away from him.  "Remember to be careful with my bag," she yelled over her shoulder.

He sighed as he began to run after her.  "Why is that every time I offer to walk her home or something we always end up in some kind of chase?" he asked himself as he started to catch up to Misty.

He immeadiately tackled her to the ground as he caught her, gently holding her in place.

Misty shivered with pleasure as she felt his warm breath against her face and his heart beating through his shirt.

They were so very close and it seemed getting closer.  She gave in to the inconrollable urge to close her eyes and wet her lips and felt herself yearning for the kiss that she was almost certain would come.

_'Only a few more seconds,' she thought to herself as she felt the space between them almost disolve at his touch._

Three . . . 

Two . . .

One . . .

~ to be continued ~

Oh, aren't I just cruel?  Ok guys please review I'm going to try and get the next chapter up in less than a month but I really can't promise much seeing as I'm still having problems with writers block.  You know if I don't finish this story before Febary I'll have been writing it for a whole year, well not including the time before I posted it which would then mean that I've been writing it for two by now but I don't think that counts.

While I remember I want to thank stoko981 (by the way thanks for being the only one who actually answered my question even though I can't actually use any of them cause the chances of a nobody little girl controlling them is pretty slim, their one of a kind and their kind of on Ash's side anyway) for the idea on this even though it was for a different story.  Also you should all read Nine Fatal Months which is a brill AAMR.

Please tell me what the strongest pokemon is and don't say togepei because she's on his side so I can't really have that and I think there's only one togepei anyway.


	27. Out Of My Heart And Into Your Head

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokémon.

Sorry if the lyrics are off a bit off, but I had a lot of trouble finding the words to this.

Reasons of the Heart – Out Of My Heart and Into Your Head

Three . . .

Two . . .

One . . .

_'I can't do this,' Ash thought to himself as he stared into Misty's angelic face almost begging him to kiss her, making him want her more than anything else, making it all disappear around him and make him forget everything he had planned out in his head.  __'I can't.  It would ruin it all, its too soon I have to wait.'_

It was all so perfect, so right. It was everything he wanted and he hoped to god it was everything she wanted too, but he couldn't take that chance.  He had to have it as perfect as could be, so nothing could go wrong and so the risk wouldn't be quite as high.  He had to patient and he had to remember that.

"Sorry," he said getting up off her and holding out his hand to her which shocked her beyond comprehension.  "I didn't mean to hurt you."

_'Of course not,' she thought to herself.  __'You never do, yet you're the only one that ever could.'_

"Its ok," she said putting on the false happy voice and turning away so he couldn't see the tears welling in her eyes.  "Come on, I better get to class."

Ash nodded as they walked the rest of the way in a solemn silence.  

_'no man is worth your tears,'_ she thought trying to convince herself that these words she had been told time after time by her sisters.  _'and those who are wouldn't make you cry.'_

She struggled so hard to believe them.  She knew Ash was worth her tears, she couldn't think of anyone else who even came close, yet he was the only one who ever  made her cry.

It wasn't intentional, she knew that.  She didn't even think he knew how much he was hurting her, or about the tears that constantly filled her eyes when she thought of him.

He was worth every tear that fell from her eyes in her solitude.  He was worth every smile that came to her face when he was near.  He was worth every skipped beat and forgotten breath when she saw him.  He was worth so much more than she could ever give.

Things seemed to have changed between them so easily.  Misty was so sure that he was going to kiss her, that he wanted to kiss her just as much as she wanted him to, but then he just got up like it wasn't important, like she wasn't important, like he didn't want her anymore.

Ash could tell she was hurt by it, that she felt rejected and unloved, but he had to do it.  He couldn't ruin things by letting things slip, by doing things like this.  He had to be patient, he had to wait and he couldn't kiss her no matter how much he wanted to or wanted her.

_'Patience is a virtue,' he reminded himself sadly stealing a glance of Misty and pretending for her sake, that he couldn't see the tears welling in the corners of her eyes._

He knew Misty better than he knew himself, and he knew the deceitful image of strength Misty had made herself out to be.  He knew the walls built around her heart, their weak points and strong.  And he knew that Misty hated nothing less than to appear weak and for others to see her as anything but strong,

He knew that it would only hurt her more to know that he could see the tears in her eyes, and that he knew that she wasn't as strong as she made herself out to be.

He didn't like hurting Misty; it was something he couldn't stand to do.  To see her cry or in pain was bad enough without the heart wrenching suffering he felt to know it was his fault.  He felt his own heart being broken in two, being torn into shreds and disregarded casually like it was nothing just from seeing the look she was trying so hard to hide in her eyes.  

All he wanted right now was to see a real smile, no matter how small on her perfect lips.

"See you Myst," he said overly happily giving her a quick hug hoping that it may help fix the bond, which had been damaged after what he had done.

"See you Ash," she said returning his hug and feeling some of that same hope that Ash's actions always filled her with returning to her and pulling a small smile to her lips.

He nodded and handed her the bag of books before waving goodbye as he walked away.

She sighed.  _'I'll never understand him,' she thought to herself as she watched him leave._

She sighed again and walked into her psyche class knowing that today was going to be a very long day.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh," Jessica screamed excitedly as she ran through the house up to her best friends room waving her hands around just as excitedly.

"You won't believe this," Jessica gushed.

"Come back in half an hour when I'm more awake in and in a state where I'm not quite so naive," Krysanthia complained still trying to get over last night's party.

Jessica rolled her eyes and continued being the chirpy little morning lark she was.  "This is way too important to wait," Jessica insisted.

"Then go tell somebody who cares," Krysanthia moaned rolling onto her side which earned her a very disapproving look from Jessica.

You see Melody wasn't exactly the biggest gossip in Davison, more like the second.  Jessica strong belief about gossip being the key to her happiness meant she loved nothing more than to do so and boy did she have some gossip.

She fidgeted around the room like a little child waiting to open her Christmas presents and practically bounced off the walls with excitement.

"Well maybe I will," Jessica said huffily.  "I just thought that you might appreciate hearing this before anyone else," she said turning to walk out the room.  "It's not like anyone else knows anyhow."

Krysanthia was hooked.  She hated second hand gossip, which had been messed up along the way into some kind of cheap imitation, but hearing it straight out of the mouth of the creator, that was what she lived for.

"Ok, you got me. Now, who, what, when, how and where?" Krysanthia asked.

Jessica smiled with satisfaction.  "Well I was going for a walk in the quad when I saw Ash and Misty together.  Then she started running away from him and he chased after her, then he tackled her to the ground.  Then they were just lying there for like five minutes till he pushed himself away and Misty was practically in tears."

"So?" Krysanthia asked kind of annoyed that Jessica had woken her up for this.

"So, I think he's planning something," Jessica said quite shocked that her best friend didn't find this quite so interesting.  

"And?" Krysanthia asked still bored with Jessica's gossip but urging her to go on and may be find something that peaked her interest.

"And we just like have to find out what it is," Jessica continued becoming more excited.

"He's probably just planning something special for the dance," Krysanthia told her in a bored tone as she checked herself in the mirror.  "So don't go spreading that around because he's probably trying to surprise her and it won't be nearly as good if Misty suspects something."

"Fine," Jessica sighed, "but can I at least tell Melody about the first part?"

"Sure," Krysanthia replied, "but I don't think Misty would be too impressed with you if you spread it around the whole school, she might just decide to give Melody creative control over the decoration thing."

"I'll be good," Jessica said quickly sulking as she left the room to go tell Melody exactly what she saw knowing she would appreciate it far more than Krysanthia had.

_I feel fine_

_Now the rain has gone_

_And the sun has come to shine_

_Nothing can get me down today_

_Head over heals_

_Got my mind made up_

_As I'm driving through the fields_

_Nothing can get me down again_

_Catch me if you can_

_I've got to make a get away_

_As the sun goes down_

_Waking up my dreams_

_And in my mind _

_You're with me once again_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_And beside my heart_

_There's a place for you_

_And in my mind_

_I'm with you once again_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_Chasing the sun_

_Trying to get away _

_From the rain that's going to come_

_Hope I make it all the way_

_I'm lost in a crowd_

_Trying to find my way_

_But the rain keeps falling down_

_Doesn't matter any way_

_Catch me if you can_

_I've got to make a get away_

_As the sun goes down_

_Waking up my dreams_

_And in my mind _

_You're with me once again_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_And beside my heart_

_There's a place for you_

_And in my mind_

_I'm with you once again_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_Take a look_

_At the sky_

_Feel the sunshine_

_In your heart_

_In your head_

_In your own time_

_As the sun goes down_

_Waking up my dreams_

_And in my mind _

_You're with me once again_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_And beside my heart_

_There's a place for you_

_And in my mind_

_I'm with you once again_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_Out of my heart into your head_

_('Out Of My Heart And Into Your Head' BBMak)_

_'I wonder exactly how many pages you can write about a guy before it really starts to border on obsessive behaviour,' Misty pondered to herself as she turned through the neat and full pages of her diary each one with his name mentioned at least once._

It wasn't like she could help it, he kept on doing stupid and incomprehensible things like this that just messed up her head even more than it already was.

"Thanks a bunch Ash," she muttered turning to a new page so she could begin her current entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_I promised myself I wouldn't say it and I'm going to try to keep this promise, but I get the strangest feeling that it won't be long before I break this one just like the rest of them so I might as well get it over with._

_Damn you Ash Ketchum!_

_There I said it and I have to admit that it needed to be said.  I've been holding all this in since early morning and it is now late afternoon so I'm sure that either says a lot about me or a lot about what he's done now._

_I'm sure that he is the most incomprehensible being in this entire godforsaken planet.  I mean I wish he would just make up his mind._

_One second he's kissing me goodnight and taking every chance to hold me in his arms, next he's practically repelled at the thought of kissing me or something._

_I wish he would just stop giving me all these mixed messages.  I'm sure today is the best example to date.  We were just hanging out and stuff and then we had this chase, he takled me to the ground and he was just so close to kissing me that I could practically already feel his lips against mine, but he didn't.  He pushed himself away, smiled nervously and said 'sorry myst' just like he always does every time he breaks my heart._

_But sorry doesn't mend it, it doesn't fix it.  I'm almost certain that sorry only makes it worse than it already is._

_I was so sure he was going to kiss me.  I was so sure that he wanted to kiss me, but I guess I was only fooling myself._

_I wanted him to kiss me.  I wanted him to hold me in his arms and never let go.  I don't think I've ever wanted anything else as much as I want him to take me in his arms and tell me everything I've dreamed of.  But those are just foolish dreams and today I almost gave up on them, which I fear might have been the stupidest thing I could ever do._

_It makes me wonder, where would I be without them, without my foolish dreams?  What would I do without even them to hold onto anymore?  I'd be lost without them, without my dreams, without him to bring me back to reality or to take me away from it._

_That's the thing with reality, its never how you want it to be.  You either want to be there or somewhere else.  Sometimes my reality is twice as good as my reveries, at others reality basically sucks._

_My best realities and fantasies are always with Ash but sometimes even he can't make all my problems go away.  Especailly when he's the reason for my problems._

_Not that I'm complaining, I mean I love Ash and I can't really picture my life without him, in fact I don't even want to, but sometimes he can be a bit of a handful to say the least._

_I'm not sure which is scarier, the fact that he was going to kiss me, or the fact that he didn't.  Is it scarier to think that he loves me or to think that he never could?  I just don't know anymore._

_Just when I think I've got it all figured out, that I finally have my life under control; that I understand him and that I finally understand exactly where Ash and I stand, he does this.  For no apparent reason he messes up my perfectly laid logical explanations and conclusions thus turning my entire world upside down._

_But I guess that's how it's always been with me and Ash, one step foreward, two steps back as if I'm never any closer to where I want to be.  I feel like just when I think I'm finally there and finally have everything how I want it; I start losing ground and end up back where I started._

_So here I am, at the beginning again, caught somewhere within the middle ground and I'm not sure how to get out._

_All I know is that if I'm ever going to be with Ash I have to figure this out and as they say 'where there's a will, there's usually a way'._

_So here's to finding my way, and hoping that it leads me to Ash._

_Signed _

_Misty Waterflower_

~ to be continued ~

So I hope that was ok.  I know that was kind of mean and I feel really sorry for Misty but I have Ash's plan worked out perfectly and it's too early to ruin it all.

This is going to be the last chapter for a while because one of my friends are going away to France (bon voyage steff) and as she's one of the first and biggest fans of this story I don't want her to have to catch up when she comes back, so unless something major happens to change my mind I probably won't be updating again until January, not that that's any different from usual.  I'll still be updating my other stories if anyone actually cares, just not this one but I'm sure with the pressure off for a bit I'll be able to work on some really brilliant chapters.

By the way everyone, I changed chapter 15 which was formally known as 'Have You Ever' to 'These Are The Days'.  There isn't much of a change, but seeing as it's been so long since you've read it I'm sure it would help jog your memory a little.

Please review.


	28. Help Me

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon

Sorry this took so long, but my friend only came back yesterday.  Depending on when your reading this it had been one years and four days since I first uploaded this story.  

Reasons of the Heart – Help Me

Misty sighed as she surveyed the scene around her.

Ash had been so distant lately, ever since that day in the courtyard when he tackled her to the ground and almost kissed her.

The blissful memory tried to tug a smile to her lips but it only reminded her of the fact that he didn't kiss her and that she wasn't even sure if he wanted to anymore.

She had cried that night.  For the first time in a long time, she had just locked herself away in her room and let the tears fall from her eyes.

It had been a long time since Ash had given her reason to cry, more and more often he had become the reason for her not to cry and the reason she smiled so often.  But he had been the reason that she cried, and she cried harder than she could remember until her head hurt so much she felt like it was going to explode.

She didn't blame Ash, she wasn't angry at him for causing her tears.  She was angry at herself.

There were so many reasons, for crying, for not being pretty enough for him to want to kiss her, for pushing him away so often and building walls between them so he couldn't reach her, for calling him names in their younger years, for running away five years ago.  Mostly she was angry at herself for being angry.

Deep down she knew exactly whom she should be angry at, she knew exactly who was to blame but she couldn't seem to get herself to do so.

So she just cried harder.  She buried her head in a pillow and drowned out the sounds of her sobs from any passer by.

"you don't want to hate him," she remembered Melody telling her one time.

She was trying so hard to convince herself and everyone else that she did, that it was exactly what she wanted to do because she couldn't handle it any other way.  Tears seemed to steam down her face so easily then as she tried to figure it all out and tried to push Ash out of her life.

"If you did," Melody continued upon seeing Misty's confused reaction, "you wouldn't have to try so hard to convince yourself of it.  The human mind is an amazing thing, you should know that better than any of us, and if deep down you really wanted to hate Ash, you would and you wouldn't be crying right now and you wouldn't need to justify your reasons."

"You know how it goes," Sabrina added proving Melody's point.  "Fake love has to try to fall in love, true love has to try not to."

How she had tried, she had tried harder than anything else from the very beginning not to fall in love with his chocolate brown eyes that melted into her soul, not to fall in love with his smile or his messy ebony locks, but the harder she tried, the deeper she fell.  She fell deeper with every second, every moment she looked into those eyes, every time he said her name she just fell deeper into his spell.

At least now all the tears had dried out.  She still had reason to cry, he was still standing so close yet he seemed an entire lifetime away, she just didn't think she had any tears left in her whether she wanted to cry or not.

She could hear his constant breathing beside her, deep, relaxed and slow.  Somehow this relaxed her.

She made herself more comfortable in her chair and focused on the sound, taking it all in.  She closed her eyes relaxing into the sound of his deep breathing and . . . 

_'Wait,' she thought to herself__, 'was that a snore?'_

She listened carefully for a second and heard the same sound again almost immediately.

"Ash Ketchum you wake up right this instant!" she yelled next to his ear drawing the attention to herself and Ash.

He jumped out of his chair and tried to look busy or something.

"I wasn't sleeping," he insisted.  "I was just resting my eyes."

"Sure Ash," she said turning away and playing with the tiny daisies beside her.

Ash sighed with relief and relaxed into his chair watching Misty from the corner of his eye.

He knew she was upset with him and he felt his heart breaking in two.  She had good reason to be angry at him, to hate him even.  He was an egotistical prick who couldn't seem to make up his mind, especially when it came to her.  He just hoped she didn't hate him as much as he knew she should.

He knew the distance that had come between them was his fault, but he had good reason to put it there.  

The distance was like Misty's walls in a way.  They too were for protection, but not for himself.  In some ways the protection was for Misty but in more it was for his perfectly laid plans.

He had put the distance between them to ensure that nothing like that day in courtyard ever happened again, at least not between then and the dance.  He didn't want to come so close to getting the one thing he had dreamed of for so long only to deny himself it and hurt Misty in the process.

He knew that he couldn't handle that again and neither could she.

If he ruined it all now by letting desire take control of him and giving in to his instincts he may end up losing her, he might have gotten the signals crossed and ended up doing something that she didn't want.  He couldn't risk that so he had to keep to the plan and maybe that would be the one thing that could win her over and make her fall in love with him.

It was strange.  From one look in those beautiful, crystal clear, cerulean blue eyes he fell in love with her all over again yet he never realised that she too had fallen in love with his chocolate brown ones.

For a long time he was so scared that he had merely fallen in love with the memory of the girl that had gotten away but as he spent more time with her he fell more and more in love with the woman she had turned into.  He fell more and more in love with this beautiful, intelligent goddess that had only become more beautiful with the years apart.

He had always found Misty to be beautiful, even when they were both naïve ten year olds who knew nothing about love.  Even in the times when he thought Misty was some kind of witch casting spells on him and turning his legs to jelly, when he thought that all the feelings he felt inside were evil magic caused by the enchantress beside him on the tree stump.  Even when they were on non-speaking terms, minus the occasional insult, but still almost subconsciously placed their sleeping bags next to each other's on the forest floor.

He couldn't remember a time when he didn't think she was beautiful in some right.  All he could remember was that defining moment on maidens peak when he realised that Misty had something no one else could ever match. That defining moment in his life when he realised just how beautiful she really was and that even though she was the most beautiful girl there in his eyes and could have probably danced with any guy she liked, she wanted to dance with him.

He wasn't even sure what that really meant at that time, he wasn't even sure if he understood what that meant now, but it had changed the relationship between the two.  

It wasn't an overnight sort of change, just subtle one that took its time and calmly changed into something more mature.  In a way it changed from the three of them, Ash, Misty, and Brock to just Ash and Misty.

And he liked it that way.

He cherished the moments in his journey when it was just himself and Misty and no one else.  He liked the way that the two of them could just sit in silence for hours but not find it awkward or forced.  He liked the way that he could be so relaxed around Misty despite the secret he was hiding.

He liked being with Misty and there really wasn't any place he would rather be.

I wish I could define 

_All the thoughts that cross my mind_

_They seem too big for me to choose_

_I don't know which ones to use_

_When I'm falling down so far_

_I think I'll never see your light_

_Bouncing off of me_

_Shining down here from your eyes_

_Help me_

_Figure out the difference_

_Between right and wrong_

_Weak and strong_

_Day and night where I belong_

_Help me_

_Make the right decisions_

_Know which way to turn_

_Lessons to learn_

_And just what my purpose is here_

_It's like I've I got the signals crossed_

_With messages I can't decode_

_Half asleep, never wide awake_

_And I'm on complete overload_

_I've got too much information here_

_And nothing I can really grasp_

_I should know the truth _

_But I'm too afraid so I have to ask_

_Help me_

_Figure out the difference_

_Between right and wrong_

_Weak and strong_

_Day and night where I belong_

_Help me_

_Make the right decisions_

_Know which way to turn_

_Lessons to learn_

_And just what my purpose is here_

_Want to love you_

_More than anything_

_I need you_

_In my every dream you're there for me_

_Do you love me?_

_For who I am_

_No angel just an ordinary man_

_Help me figure out why I'm stuck in the middle_

_Tying to understand why I can't_

_Why you're such a riddle_

_Got my eyes crossed_

_Thinking so hard and I know I'm missing the mark_

_Can you help me sort out all this information_

_I'm just racking my brain_

_Keep paying attention_

_Put I'm still lost and at all costs_

_I got to know_

_Help me_

_Figure out the difference_

_Between right and wrong_

_Weak and strong_

_Day and night where I belong_

_Help me_

_Make the right decisions_

_Know which way to turn_

_Lessons to learn_

_And just what my purpose is here_

_Help me figure out why I'm stuck in the middle_

_Tying to understand why I can't_

_Why you're such a riddle_

_Got my eyes crossed_

_Thinking so hard and I know I'm missing the mark_

_Can you help me sort out all this information_

_I'm just racking my brain_

_Keep paying attention_

_Put I'm still lost and at all costs_

_I got to know_

_('Help Me' Nick Carter)_

"some people," Jessica sighed to Melody her voice full of aggravation as they took a break from their stressful positions to watch our two favourite Creative Directors interact.

"totally," melody replied with a similar tone of aggravation in her voice.

"how can they be so completely and utterly . . ." Jessica trailed off as she searched for the perfect word to describe the two.

"clueless?" Chloe offered coming into the conversation stars painted on either side of her face as well as a few paint smudges.

"I was thinking more along the lines of dense," Jessica replied.

Melody nodded.  "So how's the banners going?" Melody asked Chloe who just happened to be in charge of it.

"Good," Chloe nodded.  "But on something totally unrelated, I need to choose a date for the dance."

Melody and Jessica stared at Chloe with skeptism.  

Melody gaped.  "You've only got about forty hours until the dance and you're telling us you don't have a date?" she asked her voice full of shock.

"I have a date," Chloe said.  "Two to be exact, I just don't know which one to go with.  Tom or Orlando."

Chloe was pretty with a kind air around her, plus she was the sort of person that made everyone she met happy.  She could be one of the guys, or one of the girls depending on her mood and she had two of the best looking guys in Davison at her feet.

"Well, then who asked you first?" Jessica asked trying to take the logical approach to sort this out.

"See that's the problem," Chloe replied, "they both asked me at the same time while I was online so I can't use that."

"geez," Jessica sighed in frustration.  "why don't you just go with both of them?"

Chloe thought about this proposition for a second.  "Why don't I?" she asked.  "I mean I am Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile and she had affairs with how many guys . . ."

"Including her brothers," Jessica whispered to Melody when Chloe wasn't looking.

"ewwwww, incest," Melody complained screwing up her face in disgust.

" . . . I mean," Chloe said continueing her trail of thought aloud despite the fact that Melody and Jessica weren't quite listening to her.  "I could have my own Marc Anthony and the ugly egotistical one who named a month after himself, what was his name?"

"You mean Julius Ceazer?" Melody offered.

"Yeah, salad guy," Chloe nodded.  "It'd be perfect."

"Yeah," Jessica agreed sarcastically, "you think Misty would mind?"

"Why would Misty care?" Chloe asked.

"Well, she is in charge of this dance," Melody explained.  "she'd probably tell you that this is a couples dance not some kinds of dirty dancing managetrois."

"she's has a point there," Jessica agreed.

"fine, I'll go tell Tom I'm going with Orlando," Chloe sighed sadly.  "it's not like he would have made a good Julius Ceazer anyway, he's too cute for the part."

She went off to break the bad news to Tom while Jessica and Melody fell into fits of laughter.

"So, did you find out anything about what Ash is up to?" Melody asked after their laughter had died down.

This was a far more serious and important topic.  They were still trying to discover what it was exactly what Ash had planned to make Misty fall in love with him, not that she wasn't already, but Ash didn't know that fact.

Jessica shook her head no.  "how about you?" she asked.  Melody replied the same way.

Melody sighed.  "Parker is like his best friend, you'd think he'd at least know something," she said frustratedly.

Jessica nodded.  "maybe he's afraid that bringing others into this could ruin it."

Melody sighed again.  "let's just hope that Misty doesn't run away this time."

~ to be continued ~

Ok, so another chapter done.  Yeah I know this chapter is a bit well, pointless but you can't blame me if I've forgotten the plot of the story or something.  You also can't blame me if I start using stuff I've already used because quite frankly I don't remember.

Next chapter is pre-dance, you know very interesting stuff you know attempted murder of Ash, M . . . actually never mind that's the next, next chapter.  I really have to start paying more attention to where these things fit in.

Please review, the more the merrier.****


	29. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

This song is the last out of about ten different songs that this chapter was previously named for so you all better appreciate the fact that I had to redo the song like twenty times because I couldn't choose.  I also realise that most of you will recognise it as Elton John but Blue just did a remake and I like them better so I considerate it theirs.

Reasons of the Heart – Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

The Alpha Gamma household was in a state of complete and utter chaos.

Girls rushed from room to room, slamming doors and fighting for one of the ten bathrooms in the place.  Make up brushes were held at dangerous angles as eyeliners and tweezers became the essential tools of self-inflicted torture.

Stress levels were high and stiletto heals even higher, but all this of course was understandable.  The equinox ball was merely hours away and half of them hadn't even started on their makeup.

Misty had locked herself in her room, finding it her solitude away from the chaos.  She just sat there on her bed, still in her pyjamas, just staring at the intricately made dress that hung by her dresser as she had the flowers.

She ignored the sense of de ja vu she got as she remembered that she had been in the very same position no less than three weeks ago, staring aimlessly at an inanimate object waiting for it to disappear along with her troubles.

The dress was gorgeous; it was made from indigo satin covered by a layer of white organza which gave it a shimmering effect as the light shone down upon it.  She had a pair of violet wings attached to the back and a veil made of the same organza on her head connected to a halo of flowers.

Roses had been embroidered into one corner of the dress.  It was a simple, elegant, form fitting spaghetti strap dress with a split up one side to her knee.  It also had matching shoes and gloves.

Melody was the sort of person who paid extreme attention to detail and left nothing to chance.  Misty got the feeling that Melody had been planning their costumes long before they had even announced the dances theme and the fact they would be wearing costumes.

But Misty didn't care about Melody's obsessive-compulsive indications; right now she had more important things on her mind.  She had no room for anything else in her head right now that would on complicate her train of thought.

"What kind of person would want to go to a dance with a fairy prince?" she asked herself now regretting those very words that she had asked Ash.  She stared at her costume, more or less a fairy princess and sighed from frustration.

"Me," she said meekly wishing she had just kept her big mouth shut.

She thought of all the fights she could have avoided, all the tears she wouldn't have shed if it hadn't been for her big, stupid mouth.  She thought of the things she wouldn't have said and the ones he wouldn't have been forced to say in reply.

She thought about the fact that if she had been nicer, if she hadn't called him names and so forth, she might be with him today and she wouldn't have lost the most important thing in her life.  She wouldn't have spent so many years without; she wouldn't have lost so many tears and years of her life to this unwanted pain and suffering.

But at least now she was getting her life back together.  Ash was becoming a part of her life once again, and that was one thing she was thankful for.

_'Admit it,'_ her mind scorned at her, _'you'd still want to go with him if he was _Barney the Dinosaur_.'_  [A/N: I don't own Barney, thank god]

She sighed.  She knew it was true, she just hated to admit that annoying little voice in her head was right, if she did she wasn't sure if she'd be able to live it down for long.

Again she sighed.

She wondered where the day had gone, where all the joy and excitement she had been filled with this morning had gone in the few hours since she had awoken.

It had all started so perfectly, the birds were singing, the sunrise was that perfect shade of orange that demanded your attention and a light breeze spread the sent of fresh autumn leaves through her room.  It had all gone down hill from there.

She could still picture the exact moment when everything had started going wrong.  

She had got up to go to the window and watch the sunrise for a few minutes before going through her usual morning routine.  It was when she checked her alarm clock that it went so terribly, terribly wrong.  Actually, it was what she saw on the alarm clock that sent her into this downward spiral.

September 21st [A/N: sorry this isn't a full moon, at least not where I live but it was the closest Saturday to it.  I also realize that it is nowhere near September or even the actual equinox right now but I wanted to make the dance when it was still kind of warm and I had to guess this cause my seasons are opposite].

It was the day that part of her had been dreading since she found out Melody's evil plot.  The rest of her had been positively thrilled at the prospect of even having the chance to dance with him.

It was just that damn part of her full of fear that drowned all her feelings of excitement and anticipation in a bittersweet misery.

So much of her was looking forward to the dance, to having her dreams come true.  So much of her was anticipating the feeling of Ash's arms around her waist as they danced together in perfect harmony to a romantic slow song that seemed as if it had been sung just for them.

She was reminded of the dream she had recently.  The dream she was on maidens peak, just the two of them alone with no one there to ruin the perfection of the two of them together.

Her mind constantly strayed to it, to the moment that he kissed her.  It strayed to when she felt his soft breath on her cheek before he whispered softly to her 'don't wish, wishes don't always come true.  Just know it will last forever'.

"I know," she whispered to herself as she closed her eyes and tried to take herself back to that place.  

It was somewhere away from all the nervousness, and anticipation.  Away from the loud sounds drifting through her walls and the tension filling the house.  

Away from the fact that she was still repeating those words over and over again in her head.  

_'Who would want to go to a dance with a Fairy Prince?  A Fairy Princess,'_ she thought to herself.  _'Thumbalina. Or maybe even me.'_

Suddenly Melody barged in, relieving Misty of her ever-depressing thoughts.

Misty sighed thankful to have them out of her head even if it were only to be for a few moments.  It seemed that she couldn't escape them.  The thoughts plagued her, scorning at her for being so naïve and stupid, for being so stubborn and sanctimonious, for just being.

"Misty," Melody gasped her eyes wide in shock as she looked over her best friend clad in pale blue pajamas with cute little Starmies on them rather than the dress still hanging on her wardrobe.

Melody being, who she was, unlike Misty, was dressed and ready to go even down to the very last strategically placed star clipped into her long brown hair.  Her clothes and make up complimented her dark blue eyes and ivory skin making her look simply angelic.

Melody was dressed as what she liked to call a cherub.  It had actually started off, as a Juliet costume but it just seemed so fitting to add wings and a halo.  Her wings were far more subdued than Parker's three meter wing span, though the gold band used as a make shift halo made up for that.

The gown was two-piece.  The top a pale blue corset with crossover straps at the top embroidered with a shimmery blue thread that caught the light.  The skirt was full and flowing edge in gold satin just like the top.

"Why aren't you in your dress?" Melody asked as she eyed Misty suspiciously.

"Um . . ." Misty started as she tried to think up a worthwhile excuse to get her out of this whole mess.  "I think I'm sick," she said coughing slightly just to prove her point.

Melody looked her up and down looking for any signs of sickness.  "Well you certainly don't look sick," she said as she placed the back of her hand against Misty's forehead.  "And you definitely don't feel sick.  Though you do sound sick.  Sabrina come here," she could suddenly surprising Misty.

"What is it?" Sabrina asked annoyed to be interrupted from her finishing touches to her out fit.

Sabrina looked gorgeous, dressed in a perfect copy of the dress Anastasia wore to the opera in the animated movie.  She was fitting a pair of long diamond earrings into her ears as she walked into the room.

"Why is she still in her pajamas?" Sabrina asked as she got a good look a Misty.

"She's sick," Melody explained turning away from Misty so she wouldn't catch her winking a Sabrina.

Misty's eyes shot open with surprise and she held back a victorious smirk that pulled at her lips.  She hadn't expected Melody to believe her so easily, but then she definitely wasn't going to be complaining, especially if it meant she wouldn't have to go to the dance.

"What with?" Sabrina asked with a sinister smile that she kept well hidden from Misty as a strange tone came to her voice.

"You know," Melody shrugged, "the usual."

"The usual," Sabrina nodded smiling.  "I'll make the phone call, you get her in the dress," she commanded as she left the room locking it from the outside as she went to make that very important phone call.

There was a loud noise from inside which she presume was Melody chasing Misty around the room before pinning her down as she did her hair.  Sabrina smiled to herself as she listened carefully to make sure that nothing went wrong.

"Believe me Misty," she could hear Melody say through the door probably more to herself than Misty, "you are going to thank us for this later."

_What I got to do to make you love me?_

_What I got to do to make you care?_

_What do I do when lightning strikes me?_

_And I wake to find that you're not there_

_What I got to do to make you want me?_

_What I got to do to be heard?_

_What do I say when it's all over?_

_And sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_It's sad, so sad_

_It's a sad, sad situation_

_And it's getting more and more absurd_

_It's sad, so sad_

_Why can't we talk it over?_

_Oh it seems to me_

_That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_What do I do to make you want me?_

_What I got to do to be heard?_

_What do I say when it's all over?_

_And sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_It's sad, so sad_

_It's a sad, sad situation_

_And it's getting more and more absurd_

_It's sad, so sad_

_Why can't we talk it over?_

_Oh it seems to me_

_That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_What do I do to make you love me?_

_What I got to do to be heard?_

_What do I do when lightning strikes me?_

_What have I got to do?_

_What have I got to do?_

_When sorry seems to be the hardest word?_

_('Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word' Blue)_

Ash opened his eyes cautiously waking up for the second time that day.

_'Please say it isn't so,'_ he prayed silently hoping against hope that he wouldn't see the one thing he dreaded more than anything else staring back at him.

His fingers were crossed as he clung to every omen in his mind for good luck.  (A/N: people were complaining about the lack of Pokemon so I transferred all my omens into poke land so bear with me) A lucky pika paw was in his right hand (meaning that he was holding onto Pikachu foot which if he didn't let go soon he would probably be shocked), a four leafed Bulbasaur in a pokeball in his left, a white Meowth in his pocket and most importantly, a battered up old red and white official Pokemon league cap on his head.  

He reckoned that was more than enough luck to last him a lifetime, but sometimes luck isn't enough.  Sometimes all we really need is a miracle.

Ash opened his eyes and fainted . . . again.

Ash was more prepared now.  He knew luck wouldn't save him and he knew that there was only one thing he could do about it.

He sat on his bed, staring at the costume hanging on the closet door opposite him.

"It's you or me, bub," he said his eyes darting between the semitransparent royal blue wings and the breecher, knickerbockers things.

He knew he had to make a decision, that he would only be able to get away with one, so he had to decide which would be the most embarrassing.  Not an easy decision if you ask me.

Ash took a glance at his watch.  He had plenty of time, he hoped.

He looked over his costume again.  

It wasn't that it was completely hideous and unwearable or anything, I mean the jacket was pretty cool, and he could handle the buckled shoes and the frilly necktie, maybe even the wings, it was just those damn breechers that were just so . . . euch!

And it just so happened that thanks to a last minute visit to a nearby mall, it was a very easy problem fix.  The only problem now was getting Melody to agree with his change.

But right now, that was probably the farthest thing from his mind.  It seemed there was only room for one thing in his mind and everything else that was still in there included her in some way.

And so it happened that his thoughts began to drift to the one thing that his mind always drifted to when it had the chance, the first and last thing on his mind.  

It was obvious where it had gone by the content smile forming on his lips, he was thinking about Misty.

He thought about the way her eyes would light up when she smiled, and how all the blues and greens would swirl together in her eyes entrancing him and pulling him deeper into his trance.  He thought about the way her lips felt against his skin, against his own lips and how beautiful she was whenever she smiled or even when they held no expression.

He thought about the laugh that he loved even when she was laughing at him.  It sounded like summer rain, or beautiful finches.  It was like some melodic harmony playing just for him.

He thought about all the things he'd missed about her, all the things that he could no longer live without and he hoped that he wouldn't have to ever again.

It's strange the things that you can't live without seem to matter so much to you, and you find yourself depending so much on them for just living each and every day, for just breathing, that you wonder you wonder how you ever seemed to live without them before.

Misty was one of those things.  In fact she could quite possibly be the only thing in his life worth that much.  She was the reason for everything he did and now he couldn't imagine ever trying to live without her again.  She gave his life a meaning he could only try to comprehend and he didn't want to lose her again.

Tonight he would do everything in his power to make sure that he didn't.

He sighed as he began to get changed into his costume.  He pulled on the hand made shirt that Melody had made then the royal blue Napoleon like coat over top.  He pulled on the cream dress pants and buckled up his shoes.  

He then sighed as he pulled on the powder blue wings and the fairy prince crown.

He looked at himself in the mirror trying to see what he wanted Misty to see in him as he stood there.

_'Who would want to go to a dance with a fairy prince?'_ he thought to himself repeating the phrase he had seen heard Misty say so clearly.

"Certainly not Misty," he muttered sadly to himself with a sigh.  "But what about a lowly Pokemon Master who's loved her all his life."

With that last thought he headed downstairs crossing his fingers again and making sure he had everything he needed for tonight.

"Ok," he heard Brock say on the phone.  "I'll tell him that.  I love you."

Ash guessed he was talking to Sabrina; Brock always went all mushy like that when he was talking to her.  The fact was that he was almost embarrassed for his friend; if anyone knew about all the nicknames she had for him he would surely be ridiculed for the rest of his life.

Brock turned around to see Ash walking down to where he was.

"What do you think, man?" Brock asked gesturing over himself with his cane.  He was wearing a black penguin suit with a top hat to finish it off.

Ash nodded approvingly.  "Sabrina will love it," he commented assuring.

Brock smiled.  "And Misty will love the fact that your sacrificing your own pride for her," Brock told him.  "You know she's always been a sucker for chivalry."

Ash chuckled light feeling the laugh take away a bit of his nervousness but not enough to make him feel calm.  "Don't I know it," he replied with a nervous laugh.

"Don't worry," Brock said sensing Ash's nerves and knowing the assurance that he needed to hear right now, "Misty loves you and that's all that matters."

"I hope your right Brock," Ash sighed.  "I really do."

"Actually, speaking of Misty," Brock said remember the conversation he had just had with Sabrina.  "Misty wants you to meet her before the dance just to check some stuff."

Ash nodded as he began to head to the sorority house.

Melody had finally gotten Misty into her costume.  It looked absolutely perfect on her and she and Ash were going to look perfect together.

Misty sighed as she began to walk down the stairs heading to the lounge to watch some TV or something in an effort to calm her growing nerves.  Just thinking about dancing with Ash sent shiver of excitement and nervousness down her spine.

She felt her stomach churning around like a washing machine and all this nervousness was making her horribly sick.  She wished she could just fast forward everything until it was over and she and Ash were living in the happily ever after or somewhere like that.

She was about halfway down the stairs when she heard a knock at the door.

She looked around and saw that she was the only one there quite shocked to find the usually bustling household to be completely empty.

There was another knock at the door as she realized that she still hadn't moved to answer it.  She quickly did so her skirt swishing loudly around her legs.

She gasped as she opened the door and fainted into his waiting arms.

~ to be continued ~

Ok I think it's relatively obvious who's waiting arms she fell into.

The next chapter is the dance which means only four more chapters till the end, oh my gosh that is so sad.  What am I supposed to do now?

Please review everyone and I'll try to get the next few chapters up relatively fast.


	30. Site

Ok, finally it's here so anyone who wants to see what Ash and Misty and a few other characters are wearing for the ball go to where you can see for the for yourselves. The next chapter should be up by about the end of the week, hopefully so keep checking for it. 


	31. One Last Song

Before I begin I would just like to apologise for the time it took to get this up.

Sorry

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon, the only Pokemon things I have is a Pikachu soft toy, which sits in my hammock thing with the rest of my teddies and a book I use for reference when I actually use Pokemon in my stories which isn't actually too often.

By the way, I do realize that 'Against All Odds' by Westlife and Mariah Carey (or Phil Collins if you prefer) would be more fitting but I had picked this song ages ago and I'm sure you're all sick of Westlife by now I on the other hand could never be sick of Westlife and I got the new one for Christmas (when I wrote this like five months ago) which means six more new story idea's.  So as my friend Kris says "boo yah!"

Reasons of the Heart – One Last Song

_Misty stared out into the churning, vast ocean before her sighing contently.  It was almost hypnotizing the way it would hold her gaze to it's rhythmic motion to a song only she could hear._

_She had always loved the water, the ocean especially, ever since she could remember.  Looking out into the curling waves always made her feel so free and at ease like there was nothing left to bound her to this world.  She felt as though she could just jump into the sea and drift away into forever._

_She stepped up onto the ships railing and leant further forward so she could feel the strong winds against her face dancing through her hair and drying her tears.  She didn't care about how dangerous it was for her to be in that position or anything else for that matter.  Right now it was just she and the ocean, the way it had been since her parents died, the way she had always thought it would be.  _

_But it wasn't like that anymore.  This was the way it had been before he came along and changed her life so drastically._

_She suddenly felt two strong and powerful arms wrap themselves around her waist drawing her fragile body closer to theirs the way they always did when she need to feel safe and protected, when she need to feel her feet back on solid ground._

_"Don't tell me you were going to jump," a male voice said close to her ear._

_She shook her head and smiled to herself a she felt the usual sense of perfection she always felt take over her.  "Just wanted to take a closer look," she told him._

_"Good," he replied huskily right next to her ear sending shivers of pleasure down her spine as she felt his warm breath on the back of her neck, "because I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_Misty turned around to meet a pair of warm brown eyes staring lovingly into her own cerulean blue.  She immediately found herself lost in the deep chocolate brown of his eyes and falling deeper under his spell._

_"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" he asked her his eyes flashing teasingly as he gently weaved his fingers through her hair and stroked her face._

_"Not in the last half hour," she teased back after a moment of mock thought as a smile pulled onto her lips._

_"Well I do," he told her his tone becoming more serious and his eyes becoming sincere and devoted.  "More than anything else in the universe, more than anyone or anything could ever imagine.  You mean more to me than you could ever know and without you my life would be meaningless."_

_She smiled and leaned in to plant a passionate and loving kiss on his soft lips.  She relished the feeling every time they kissed, it made her feel whole and complete like they were one in the same.  She didn't think she could ever get tired of kissing him._

_"I love you more with every second," she said quietly so only he could hear her confession of love, "more with every hour and every day.  I love you Ash, always and forever."_

_Again they kissed conveying all their feelings deep inside.  Words were no longer needed but as he breathed a single name next to her ear she was remind of how incredible it felt to hear her name flow upon his lips._

_"Misty . . ."_

"Misty," Ash called trying to wake the sleeping girl in his arms. (A/N: If you want to check out what they costumes look like, go to )

She looked so beautiful and peaceful.  Her faced shined with an angelic glow and sparkled where the lights caught the shimmer on her face.  No wonder he loved her so much.

She'd fainted into his arms the moment that she had opened the door to see his face.  He couldn't understand why, I mean she had asked him to come over to sort some dance stuff out, hadn't she?

No wonder he couldn't understand Misty.  If he ever did understand her he was sure that the sheer shock of it would send him into a state of comatose, he most definitely didn't want to find out if he was right.

"Look who's going to a dance with a fairy prince," Ash teased as she came to, "little Miss Fairy Princess."

She looked at him sleepily for a moment as she tried to figure out why she was lying in Ash's arms, not that she was complaining or anything.  It took her a few seconds to remember everything from her hours of preparation to her standing at the door and seeing Ash's handsome face looking positively adorable in his costume.  But that was where everything got all hazy and started flipping between reality and her dream on the ship.

She finally realized what was going on and came up with the proper response for Ash's 'Little Miss Fairy Princess' comment.

"I'm not a fairy princess," she told him as she got up out of his arms regrettably as she felt the warmth that had swept over her slip away.  "I'm Thumbilina," she said defiantly daring him to speak with her eyes.

"Same thing," he told her with a shrug wearing a smug smile of his own.

"Uh-uh," she replied childishly.  "She was just a miniature girl."

"With wings?" he asked her sarcastically gesturing to the beautiful indigo wings flowing from her back.

Misty made a sound that said she was obviously annoyed and for a few seconds their eyes were locked in a fierce, silent war but after that they both fell into an awkward silence and neither would meet the others eyes.

They were each lost in their thoughts about what tonight might hold for them.

Ash was busy going over the events he had planned for the night in his head ticking off all the things he needed and making sure he knew exactly what it was he needed to do.

Misty slipped into her Maidens Peek reverie dreaming of herself dancing with Ash underneath the glow of the stars with no one else there to ruin the moment.  Or maybe it was the dream she had just had the wind tossing his wild hair dramatically and the sweet sent of the ocean lingering in the air.

Or maybe she was perfectly happy just being in the here and now.

"What are you doing here?" Misty asked being the first to break the silence.

"What do you mean 'What am I doing here'?" he asked her looking at her oddly as if she had sprouted a few extra limbs in odd places.

"Exactly what I sound like I mean," she said heatedly wondering what the hell he was going on about now.

"You told me to come here, or did that just slip your mind?" he asked his tone coming out a little harsher then he had expected it to.  He didn't want to argue with Misty, he would love to be doing everything but arguing with her, it was just his stupid pride that always got in the way.

Misty and Ash were just too stubborn and proud to loose an argument and neither of them would back down.  They were already both standing in fighting stances which was actually quite difficult for Misty thanks to the not quite long enough split in her skirt.

"I did not," Misty replied.  "Why would I want you over?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" he asked rhetorically.  "Brock just said you wanted to sort some stuff out after he was on the phone to Sa . . ."

Both their eyes widened with realization at they both came to the same conclusion.

A voice interrupted them before they had a chance to confirm their suspicions screaming blue bloody murder.

Or rather "Hey, those aren't my pants!"

~ to be con . . . just kidding, I haven't even gotten to the song yet but don't you think that would just be the most perfect place to cut it off? ~

They had long since moved out of their fighting stances and both looked up to the stairs where the voice had come from to reveal Melody glaring angrily at Ash now out of her previous hiding places for spying on Ash and Misty.  If you looked really carefully you could see Sabrina hiding too, holding her ears and cringing as she had got Melody's shrill cry full force in her ear.

Melody stalked down stairs angry carefully lifting her dress so as not to trip on it.  She stalked into the front hall until she was glaring up at Ash, which was quite intimidating despite her small stature and the petite dress complete with halo and angel wings.

Ash smiled sheepishly at Melody as he shot Misty a look of puppy dog brown eyes trying to convey a message of 'Please Help Me'.  She shook her head and returned it with a 'You got yourself into this mess so you can just get yourself out of it' look that she had no option but to perfect after spending just a couple of years with the boy.

Melody closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath as she tried to state this as calmly as possible.  She was about this close to killing Ash and if she and Misty weren't such good friends and if Misty wasn't so damn madly in love with the boy then she probably would have.

Ash sighed gratefully as he realized that Melody didn't look quite so angry and scary anymore.  He turned to Misty and found himself entranced by her beauty all over again now that all the fear was going.

"Ash?" she said her voice almost nonchalant.

"Hmmm," he nodded in a faraway dreamy tone not taking his eyes off Misty, or blinking for that matter.

"That's not the costume I gave you," she told him her voice having a warning tone in it, as she looked him up and down suspiciously.

"Yes it is," he insisted flashing her an innocent smile, which made Misty's heart melt even though it wasn't directed at her.

"No, it's not," Melody replied directly taking deep breaths and counting back from ten in efforts to keep calm.

"These are you wings, and your jacket, and your shirt . . ." Ash trailed off as Melody cut him off with a simple gesture of her hand.

"Ash I'm going to ask you this just this one time," she said holding up her index finger quite dangerously for emphasis.  "Where.  Are.  My.  Pants?" she asked slowly pronouncing each word singularly and precisely.

"Oh these," he said gesturing to the pair of cream dress pants that had replaced the breecher things that still lacked a proper name thanks to this lazy authoress.  "Well you see . . ." he stared trying to explain himself.  "Um  . . . it's like . . . no . . . uh . . . I, well . . . you know."

Misty stifled a giggle as she watched the stewing Melody glare at the very tall Ash who was at least a foot taller than her.

"C'mon Ash," she said finally taking pity on him.  "We have important . . . stuff to do."

With that she dragged Ash out the door.

"That went perfectly," Sabrina smiled as if this was part of some intricate plan they were creating.

Melody just gave her an incomprehensible look and went back to putting the finishing touches on her look.

"Misty *gasp* *laugh* please *gasp* stop *gasp* laughing," he pleaded between his own laughter.

"You're *laugh* one to *gasp* to *laugh* to talk," she giggled back.

"It wasn't that funny," he said after taking a deep breath trying his best to remain serious.

Misty stopped laughing when he said this and turned to look at him with a curious look on her face.  Ash took one look at her and just couldn't help it, she was so cute like that and it just made him laugh harder.

Again they both fell into fits of laughter, which they had struggled to keep in until they were out of earshot of Melody and Sabrina.  They had practically run all the way to where they stood now under a huge oak tree clutching their stomachs painfully.

"Ok, you know we really have to stop laughing," she told him as she took a deep breath and held on to the huge oak tree for support.

"I guess," Ash said trying to keep his mind off what had happened so as not to laugh.

"But not yet," she giggled as she felt more laughter bubbling inside of her.

"Did you see her face?" Ash gasped between chuckles his eyes beginning to water.

"I thought she was going to kill you," she replied between giggles now finding it easier to control herself enough to actually speak.

"She wouldn't, would she?" Ash asked slightly anxiously not quite pulling it off seeing as he was still laughing.

Misty shook her head.  "Melody wouldn't hurt a fly," she told him.

"That's what I said about you and nobody would believe me," he told her.

And that's where the conversation ended as well as the laughter.  They weren't even sure why that one line was such a conversation killer.  Maybe it was because Ash knew the meaning behind it and Misty was trying to figure it out, but the talking had become nil and they had fallen into silence again though this one was more comfortable.

Again they were lost in thoughts of each other.  That's what the silence usually held for them even though they didn't know how similar their thoughts really were.

Ash took a quick glance at his watch, which looked rather out of place with the rest of his costume.  It looked as though it was time for the dance to begin, if it hadn't already started and as the sorority and fraternity presidents it just wouldn't be right without them.

"My dearest Thumbilina," Ash teased bowing down in front of her and taking her hand in his as he planted a light kiss on the back of it.  "May I have the most admirable pleasure of escorting thee to the dance?" he asked looking up to meet her eyes.

Misty giggled nervously as a light blush formed on her pale cheeks.  "Well I wasn't really planning on going to the dance with a fairy prince," she teased back holding her index finger to the side of her mouth in an effort to look thoughtful, "but seeing as you ask so nicely."

Ash smiled as he offered her his arm, which she took gratefully before they began the walk to the dance.

By the time they got there the ball was in full swing.  The band, Surreal which consisted of Ben, Harmony, Mercedes, Jade and Lee, were playing one of their own songs, a soft pop song called 'Don't' written by Harmony.  The dance floor was crowded with couples and groups all enjoying themselves.  (A/N: bravo to anyone who gets the above joke)

"Well if it isn't our fearless leaders back from the grave," Brock teased as he walked up to the two with Sabrina on his arm.  Sabrina had told him about the near death occurrence with Melody.  "You my friend," Brock added to Ash, "are a very brave man."

"Don't tell him that," Misty pleaded, "he already has a big enough ego as it is."

"Ouch Misty," Ash pouted cringing with mock pain as he put his hand to his heart, "that really hurt."

"Good, it was supposed to," Misty replied as she headed off but not before winking at Ash over her shoulder.

"Ash," Sabrina said giving him a concerned look, "would you breathe before you start turning blue?" she suggested raising an eyebrow.

Ash did as he was told.

"Aren't you going to follow her?" Brock asked.

"No," he replied shaking his head furiously.  "Did you see where she's heading?  Melody still wants to kill me remember."

"Why are you worried about Melody?" Sabrina asked.  "She wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Do you actually have a fly that would testify to that?" Ash replied one eyebrow raised slightly in a sceptical manner.  "I thought not, so until you do I think I'll go get some punch."

"Your loss," she shrugged as Brock led her to the dance floor and they began to dance to the fast beat playing against the up-tempo lyrics of a new song.

It had already been an hour and a half and Ash still hadn't worked up the courage to ask Misty to dance.  They'd barely talked to each other since they had walked in together at the very beginning and the more he waited the more nervous he got.

This was a crucial part of his plan, the most crucial part perhaps and he had to get it all perfectly right down the very last drop.

_'Just do it,'_ his mind tried to encourage him.  _'It's not like she'll say no.'_

_'But what if she does?'_ he argued back.

_'She won't,'_ it assured him.

_'Oh god, here she comes now, what do I do?  What do I do?'_ he screamed mentally at himself quite frantically.

"Hey Myst," he greeted nonchalantly.

"Hey Ash," she replied.

_'There's no time like the present,'_ his mind coaxed.  _'Do it now!'_

"Misty," he said as he took a deep breath.  "Doyouwanttodancewithme?" he asked quickly so she couldn't make out one word from another.

"What?" she asked her voice hopeful as she was almost certain she had caught the word dance in there.

Ash took a deep breath and decided to try again this time a little more proper.  "Misty, may I have this dance?" he said calmer holding out his hand and looking away from her.

"I'd be delighted," she said proudly as she took his hand in hers and let him lead the way to the dance floor.

Neither could deny the spark of electricity they felt running between them and felt sure that the other had felt it to.  Suddenly something felt different about tonight, they felt as though something was going to happen, something that would change their lives forever.

Ash nodded to Pikachu while Misty wasn't looking to give the signal to all those involved.  Pikachu waited until Misty's back was to him before sending a thunderbolt into the sky and slowly everything began to fall into place.

The slightly upbeat song that had been playing began to change into a slow one as Ash moved closer to Misty and wrapped his arms around her.  Misty smiled in content not ever wanting to let the feeling go.

Her smile widened as she recognized the familiar sound of her favourite song playing softly just for her.

_'Please work,'_ Ash begged silently as the music got softer and the words began to fill his head.

_"Take my hand_

_Touch my face_

_Let me feel your embrace_

_Let me know_

_In your eyes_

_That you won't say goodbye_

_Just tell me how you feel_

_I don't know what you're thinking anymore _

_So if you need me_

_You'd kiss me_

_Tell me how you feel_

_And if you want me_

_You'd show me_

_That your love is for real_

_And if you love me_

_You'd hold me in your arms where I belong_

_So while I'm feeling strong_

_I'll sing you one last song_

_Let me ask_

_Time has passed_

_Do you feel this could last?_

_If you don't _

_Why then stay_

_Take your wings and fly away_

_I love you way too much_

_To want to be the one who brings you down_

_So if you need me_

_You'd kiss me_

_And tell how you feel_

_And if you want me _

_You'd show me_

_That you're love is for real_

_And if you love me_

_You'd hold me in your arms where I belong_

_So while I'm feeling strong_

_I'll sing you one last song_

_One last song_

_I sing for you _

_Like I always did_

_This time it's for real_

_I'll never come to you like this_

_Expecting you'll return my kiss_

_So if you need me_

_You'd kiss me_

_And tell me how you feel_

_And if you want me_

_You'd show me_

_That your love is for real_

_And if you love me_

_You'd hold me in your arms where I belong_

_So while I'm feeling strong_

_I'll sing you one last song"_

_('One Last Song' by A1)_

Their bodies moved gently to the soft music in harmony with one another's.

Pikachu's signal had fulfilled its purpose.  It notified the band to change their song to the one he had asked them to play earlier.

It alerted Ash's old Butterfree who he had recently met up with and asked a favour of to sprinkle deactivated sleeping dust around them, which glowed lightly in the soft light of the Japanese lanterns and fairy lights hung from the trees and smelt like fresh lavender.

It told his Ivysaur to launch a specially developed glow attack into the sky and his Lapras to launch many miniature, harmless ice beam attacks thus creating glowing snowflakes that gently swirled around them.

It alerted a group of Bellossom he'd borrowed from an old friend to sprinkle white, pink and red rose petals in a well-controlled spiral around them and his Pigeot's flock to scatter tiny forget-me-nots from the sky above.

It notified Charizard to lightly heat the dry ice causing a sort of romantic mist to swirl around their ankles and a Haunter he had caught in Lavender town to make sure it all disappeared before it even hit the mist.

It was the perfect setting, more romantic than something even Misty who found romance in everything could conjure up in her dreams and the fact that she was sharing it with Ash only made it better.

The rest of the dancers had moved away some where along the way so they were the only two left dancing even when the song had ended and a new one had begun to play.  Neither noticed this fact just perfectly content in each other's arms.

It was right where they belonged, there was no other place they would rather be right now and each prayed it would last forever.

"You don't know how much I love you right now," Ash sighed contently without thinking right next to her ear, closing his eyes wistfully.

"What?" Misty said pulling back from him.

Everything had been so wonderfully perfect, and now it was all spinning out of control all over again.  It wasn't that she was complaining, it was the one thing she had longed for him to say her entire life, it was just his timing that was an issue.

She wasn't sure what to think right now.  All the beauty that surrounded them she knew he had done for her and she was still having difficulty comprehending that without making matters more complicated.

Why did Ash always have to make things more complicated than they already were?

_'Damn you Ash,'_ she thought though it lacked its usual confidence and assurance.  She didn't think she meant it anymore, no matter what he did.

Ash searched her face and eyes hoping that they would tell him what to say to make things all right again.  Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears and some unreadable emotion that he had seen in them many times before, and something that almost looked like hope.

But what would Misty be hoping for that concerned him?

"Forget it," he told her hoping it was what she wanted to hear from him, "it was nothing.  I mean you know me Myst always saying stupid things and saying what's on my mind without even thinking.  It was nothing Misty," he assured her, "just something stupid that I never meant to be said."

He said the last part with sadness and regret.  He had meant to say those things because they hadn't just slipped from his mind and out of his mouth without a thought, they had come straight from his heart, but he couldn't let Misty know that; he had hurt her too many times and it was only to make matters worse if he did.

Misty turned away from him without a word as the tears began to fall from her eyes.  She didn't want Ash to see her cry, especially not now.  Again he was breaking her heart in two and again he was completely unaware of doing so.

She quickly began to walk away from him, off the dance floor and towards the exit hoping nobody would pay any attention to her, but they did.  It seemed that she and Ash were every bodies business but their own.

It took Ash a few seconds to react to Misty walking away from him.  He was so sure that Misty would be happy that he didn't mean it, but things just seemed to be getting more and more confusing than ever.

He chased after her manoeuvring through the crowd surely but slowly trying to follow Misty's path and hoping he could get to her on time.

As he saw Misty walking through the quad gates he knew that this was Misty walking out of his life once again, something he knew he could never live though again.

So this time he was going to do something that he hadn't had the courage to do last time.  Summoning all the strength and sound he could muster he called to her hoping it would be enough to make her turn around one last time before she walked away without knowing how much she meant to him.

"Misty wait."

~ to be continued ~

Woo hoo!  This has got to be the longest reason chapter I've ever written.  And that would be the good news; the bad news is that there are only three more chapters of this to go.  How sad.

So just in case I forget later on, here is a very long list thanking everyone who ever reviewed this story for doing so.  I'll put 'Thank You's' in the next chapter too.  A very special thanks to all that reviewed chapter 19 as it was a major ask.

Ah hem.

Mice _(my first ever reviewer, you are like the best)_, Stephanie C _(my second one, you rule too steff)_, ~*Crystal Lilly*~, 9065, Kay, Sailor Saturn, Evil #1, Nova S _(if you liked my authors notes you are just going to love my new fic I'm writing called 'Dude Where's My Plot?  I'm glad to see that someone thinks I'm funny)_, E2K, Roxynomekop1288, Rocket Girl, Misty25, More Confused, AJ, So, CrystalWolf, Cinnamon Spider, No-1, Jurrie, Zero.

Breath.

Bronwyn, Eri, Cowgirl Ed2002, Cutie Blossom, Cherry, Ryne, Lady Damita, The Axcuze For Abuze, King Cell, The Watcher _(thanks for the bit about feinting in chapter 8)_, Caleb, Rebot Coder 99, Hopeless Romantic, Crystal, Jenny, Loper, Lilly, Madra Nikita, Tangi, Stoko981, fisbait _(even though they called me a fuckin fruit and flamed it I'm still putting them down cause they went to the effort to review it and go through all eleven chapters before doing so)_, RookRaven, Latsyrc Girl, You_maycallmegod, micdog.

By the way this is chronological order.

Pokefan-Jenny, Pika Blu, animefreak85, Destiny's Light, Usagi Tuskino, Bobo the Hobo, Fanny chan, animegirl-mika, artic winds, Joe, Violet Emeralds _(when are you going to finish 'Anything but Ordinary' it's like one of my favourite stories)_, Damsel in Distress _(I _**am**_ a fairy and I _**don't**_ need no magic shoes so take that *click* *click*)_,Mika aka Digiberry, Cheery Angel, Erinperin, animorphs17 _(even though you scare me)._

Childsnake _(I don't listen to music 24/7, I have to sleep you know and I am not in love with Ash I just listen to way too many love ballads that probably explains why there's so much Westlife in here)_, the Duke of Fenwick _(and Ryo I remembered him this time thanks for the 'flame')_, Saint Sieya, Seabeast _(this should take another couple of months to finish so it should be done before you graduate)_, konrad, seongmi, Evan, Robyn1212 _(stuffed animals beware)_.

Gees, now I know how the rap guy in the Kanto league felt and he only had to do 30 at a time.

Angel, LYNN, Shadow, Demon Caller, Kyle Piccolo, pikagurl23, MoonRider, Crystal Mew, Porcupine-Oh-Nine, The Holy Beergut, B-chan and Syaoran's Angel, Annie, Stephanie, b4me, DarienChow, Ash + Misty 4-eva, Beautiful Stranger, alex, Jennifer q, Susana, skysong, Travis _(sorry the one holding her wasn't called James but an authors gotta do what an authors gotta do)_, Lidia, josh, Ash is MINE, Alexander, Adrod, Misty moon serenity, Clarachu, ssjgohanltp, Talon, Mony, Ianny, Samiah, tati, katinstyle2, Sailor Saba, Jehn, shaggi, Aquarius Tenshi, Lorena, ximena, wendy, moonbay, AmyDaFrEak. 

Glass-tear-drops, Graciela, sweetprincess, fine literature appreciator, Maniac Mosli, blu_pirana, Eminamemem, LittleKid13, Diamond Dust, trutenor, Jessica, NiChoMiMeSaJe, Kasuka, Angel of Darkness, Xx Kusanagi xX, Moonie BaLoonie, Amy, Naiyan, StephyBug, puffmaster_12, joker64ca, CrEaTiV, madpostman, candyapple, Leo Cole, Akiya Arimoto, aya-yohiko, silverzero.

CystalRabite, kitty, you #1 fan, jessie, silver angel, Maniac Mosli, Joy-girl, smiley, Black Mistress, kongykun, Aisha ClanClan, Uranasu _(I swear it's a complete coincidence that you have the same name, the reason I choose it was because Will Simmons and Melissa Fox from SVH Senior Year are kind of the people I based it one seeing as I don't like them and rather than thinking up original names I just swapped their last names)_, me, UranusBlade, Ashla _(yeah I exaggerated a little but it was only for effect and look at the response it got)_, roxy gurl _(Lisa you shouldn't have, at least I think it's Lisa, if it isn't than I'm sure this is embarrassing)_.

fyreblazen, CrystalFox, Queen of Games, Lady Knight, Black Mistress, Multiple Lilys _(I'm sorry I got the grammar wrong but I read a book with it written like that)_, Dancergal06, Lily of the Shadow, Miss Queen of the World, smiley, dragonsbane, Zeta-Bee, seongmi, Saz, Amanda, hypercat, monkeysme _(and you thought last chapters cliffy was bad, I assure you this one is worse)_, KuTiExAzNxAnGeL, lil_sakura, Dark Charizard, miyata-lover, Kit Kat, Jason, Yami's Girl Forever, Shadow Fox, Rachael Faith Black, RuRsHeR.

Sorry to anyone I missed out or if I put some twice but you have to remember that I sifted through about 400 reviews to get this list.

Please review, as you can tell I really like reviews and the more I get the sooner I'll be able to get the next chapter up.  Thank you all the people in that list above and anyone who's read my story for inspiring me to continue and not just give up on it.

And go to my site and tell Lisa how wonderful she is for making it for me so I could update.


	32. Cry

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

What would have had happened if Ash had caught up to Ash in the forest?  What if Misty had headed his calls years earlier?  What if their fight had been resolved so much sooner than it was?  What if all of the 'what ifs' and 'maybes' that constantly passed through Misty's mind throughout the course of this story could be answered?  I think then perhaps, it would be a little something like this.

Reasons of the Heart – Cry

_I'll always remember_

_It was late afternoon_

_It lasted forever_

_And ended too soon_

_You were all by yourself_

_Staring up at a dark gray sky_

_I was changed_

"Misty wait."

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

Misty kept on running, tears streaming down her face.  She stopped trying to hold them back the moment she left the clearing.  She didn't look back to see him, she knew he'd see her tears, so she just kept on running.  She knew he was catching up, she could almost feel his presence surrounding her, but she didn't stop, she couldn't stop, not now.

_It was late in September_

_And I'd seen you before_

_You were always the cold one_

_But I was never that sure_

_You were all by yourself _

_Looking up at a dark gray sky_

_And I was changed_

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

 "Misty wait!" he called out again this time louder hoping maybe she would listen to him.  "I'm sorry."

And she was listening, she just chose to ignore his pleas as they just made her cry harder, made her run faster.  

She didn't know what to do.  It was all so just so confusing now, more so than it had ever been before.  Part of her wanted to stop and turn around; to run back into his arms, but the rest her just wouldn't allow it.  He had hurt her too much, so she just kept on running.

_I wanted to hold you_

_I wanted to make it go away_

_I wanted to know you_

_I wanted to make everything all right_

_I'll always remember _

_It was late afternoon_

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

_ In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was then that I realized _

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

_(Mandy Moore 'Cry')_

"Misty wait!" Ash cried out trying one last time knowing that the only thing that could make her stay right now was the truth he had been hiding for the past few years.  

"Please Misty," he called stopping behind her.  He wasn't going to chase her anymore, he wasn't going to make her stay with him just because he was selfish and wanted her for himself, he was going to let her fly.  He wasn't going to force her, he was going to let her choose, but first there was just one more thing she had to know.  

"I love you," he said loud enough for her to hear him in the small distance between them.

The fourteen-year-old girl stopped suddenly.  She very slowly turned around to face him her features full of utter confusion.  Her eyes were full of tears but just hearing those words had brought back the old sparkle that had disappeared only moments ago.

"I love you Misty," Ash repeated softly as he took several steps towards.  "I'm in love with you," he added shyly almost as an afterthought.

"I . . . I . . ." Misty stuttered as she struggled to find the right words.  

She could feel tears building up behind her eyes and her mind fought to decide whether or not to let them fall.  She could already feel a single warm tear roll down her face as she looked directly at Ash trying to find whatever it was she was looking for.

Ash took one last step closing the space between them and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly and letting her cry on his shoulder.

So she did.

She held onto Ash as tight as she could, not wanting to ever let him go again and for the first time since she could remember, she didn't care who saw her cry or even that she was crying.  She let out all the pain she had kept hidden inside all these years, every tear she had never shed and every memory she had tried to repress.

Ash just listened to the soft sounds of her sobs and held her against his chest as he whispered comforting words in her ear.

"Its all right to cry Misty," he whispered.  "Let me be the one to be strong this time."

Misty nodded softly as she rested her head against Ash's chest.  Misty always felt she needed to be strong or at least look strong on the outside.  Sometimes it seemed that that strength, even when pseudo, was her biggest weakness.

Ash was like her rock, her anchor stopping her from just drifting away, the only thing keeping her in reality stopping her from flying away into nothingness.  He was always there for her and he made life worth something.

"I loved you the moment I saw you," he told her softly as her tears began to die down, "and I will love you till the day I die."

He caressed her cheek softly as he turned her face up to his.  There was something in her eyes urging him to go on, to tell her everything in his heart.  It was so clear and so bright, the hope shining through her beautiful aquamarine eyes.

"I have never ever stopped loving you," he whispered, "and I never will."

His chocolate brown eyes stared into her tear filled eyes as his face inched closer.  His arms embraced her tighter pulling her closer and closer until there was little more than a millimeter of breath between their faces.

"Can I kiss you, Misty?" he whispered unsurely his voice faltering nervously.

Misty nodded dumbly and sealed her eyes as they closed in on that last millimeter of space that had kept them apart for so long and their lips finally met in a passionate kiss.

It was all either of them had ever dreamed of, a perfect kiss, a perfect scene and the perfect person to share it with.  It was perfect just the two of them so engrossed in each other that they barely registered anything else around them especially not the baby Pokemon that chirped away happily in its mothers backpack at the scene unfolding.

Misty felt as thought there were fireworks exploding in her mouth, that there were butterflies in her stomach that her entire body had turned to jelly and the only thing keeping her sane was Ash.

She couldn't believe it was all happening.  It was like a dream come true, her only wish made reality and yet it all seemed an illusion.  Everything seemed so perfect from the violet sunset painted across the horizon to the dancing flames of their distant campfire and the boy who's arms were wrapped around her waist, he was the most perfect thing of all.  She was so afraid that she would just wake up any moment now only to find that it was all just another cruel twist in her story.

Her entire body was on overdrive, working on pure ecstasy alone.  Her pulse was racing, her palms sweating and her brain only allowing her to focus on the one thing.  It seemed as though the entire world had just crumbled away around them and they were all that was left.

Ash couldn't think of anything but the kiss, his mind wouldn't let him, not that he was complaining.  He treasured every moment they were together, treasured every moment that he felt her lips pressed against his and his fingers lingering in the delicate curls of her hair.  He treasured her more than he ever thought possible.

He felt like everything he had cared about before had suddenly become so insignificant and unimportant compared to her, compared to the feelings he felt inside just from being near her, compared to this.  The titles, the badges, the fame, none of that mattered right now and he knew it never would again.  It was like nothing else mattered anymore except for Misty and that nothing else would come even close to his feelings for her as long as he lived.

He would give up all he had, walk an ocean, walk through hell and back just to make this feeling last forever.

But it had to end.

The two teenagers sighed as the kiss came to the inevitable.  They only wished it had lasted longer, but breathing had become somewhat of an issued.  So they both just stood there letting time pass them by with their arms wrapped around each other as the stared into each other's eyes.

"Ash . . . I . . . I . . ." Misty tried blushing and suddenly averting her gaze to the ground.  The kiss had said it all; he could see it in her eyes, the love, the devotion and everything else that went along with it.  Everything that he had been unable to read before, the unknown emotions he had struggled to find words for suddenly made complete sense.

"Shhh," he whispered lifting his finger to her lips.  "You don't have to say a word," he told her.  He traced the line of her jaw, stroking her cheek and sealing it with a gentle kiss.

"But I need to," she told him as they broke apart again.  "I love you Ash," she told him as she finally found the courage to speak the words that had plagued her existence for the last three years.

It was strange, in the four years she had known Ash, she had been able to tell him anything accept for this, the one thing she had wanted to tell him more than anything else in the world.  The one thing it seemed he had wanted to hear just as much as she had.  For so long it had forever played on the tip of her tongue longing to let him know.  But now he did and she felt as though she could scream it out to the whole world.

Her life seemed full of meaning now.  Ash made it all worth any pain caused before and she never wanted to let him go.

Ash smiled as he cupped her chin in his hands and kissed her again.

She closed her eyes and dreamily thought of how perfect everything had been made by the announcement of three little words.  How her world could go from upside down and falling to pieces to all she'd ever wanted and fitting into place because of those three little words.

She savored a feeling of complete happiness that seemed to surround her just from being near him.  She felt that everything she needed was right there, in his arms and that it was all going to work out perfectly.

She smiled back at him as the kiss ended then leaned into his chest.

Ash moved his mouth to her ear and she shivered with pleasure as she felt his warm breath on her cheek.  She sighed happily as he whispered in her ear and wrapped his arms tightly around her in a sweet embrace.

"I already knew."

~ The _Alternate_ End ~

As you can see this isn't the real end, it's what it would be like if this entire story only consisted of the two chapters.  How much easier would that have been?

Anyway, now for the current list of thank you's.

Emerald Eyes – You mean the first one right?  Well I actually don't entirely know who said it.  I kind of just copied it down without checking.  Now if you were talking about that last one I can say that is a bonafied Virgo Writer original all thanks to a pair of invisible Mary Jane's.

Glass-tear-drops – It seems everyone generally seems to love that part.  Thanks for the review.

Hopeless Romantic – Wow, thank you so much for that.  It's really good to know how much people appreciate what your doing.

Dragonsbane – I think I just made it worse didn't I?

Violet Emeralds – my favourite bit was the 'those aren't my pants' but probably because it's such a 'me' thing to say.

Joy-girl – Thank you for the compliment and I really am glad that I extended that scene a little, in the draft the bit where it described what was going on wasn't actually included.

Blue Flamed Cheetah – Weird huh.  Of course since then my fight scenes have matured and he calls her a slut and suggest she goes off with Gary but that is so beyond the point.

Stoko – . . .

Smiley – I can't believe you've never heard of A1, they're one of my favourite bands.  It really is too bad that they've currently broken up because one of the member left but Ben's going solo so 'she'll be right'.

Shadow Fox – Thank you

KuTiExAzNxAnGeL – Thank you

Pikagurl23 – Too true.  I love that song, I used it in one of my other AAMR fics cause I had the sudden urge to turn Misty into 'one of us'.  I think the best bit of it is 'I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to loose, But sooner or later I've got to choose', it describes Ash and Misty's relationship perfectly.

Miss Queen of the World – Again is say, it got worse didn't it?  I think this has got to be the worst cliffhanger I've ever written, and I seem to really enjoy prolonging it.

Roxynomekop1288 – It wasn't that she didn't believe him it's just that she was upset that he hadn't just taken it back as if he really hadn't meant to say it.

Lilly – Thanks and sadly there are only two left and I am really going to miss writing this fic.

RuRsHeR – Thank you

Ash and Misty Forever – Thank you so much and I really am trying to make an effort not to leave whole months between updates.

Lyse – We really do have to stop meeting like this?

Arcanine Gal 242 – I guess that was what really made the chapter, and like I said before it was kind of a last minute inspiration that got it in there.

Thank you everyone and hopefully the next chapter will be up in a month tops.


	33. A Million Love Songs Later

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon.

You may notice some similarities between this and the previous chapter, that is not because I'm lazy and basically just rehashed the same chapter but five years into the future it is because I purposely put some similarities in there to show that even if he had called her back in the beginning thus ruining the entire plot of my story things wouldn't have been that much different.

By the way, this chapter is about 200 words longer than the last.  I know when you guys said you wanted it longer you probably meant something closer to the 3,000-word mark but the next chapter is pretty damn close to 5,000 if that helps.

Reasons of the Heart – A Million Love Songs Later

_'Put your head against my life_

_What do you hear'_

"Misty wait!"

Misty hardened her jaw, blinked away the many tears that flooded her eyes and slowly turned around to face him.

"Look Misty . . ." he started.

_'A million words just trying to make_

_The love song of the year_

_Close your eyes but don't forget_

_What you have heard'_

"Stop," she said cutting off all attempts to explain the situation.  "Let me speak this time."

She took a deep breath and continued.  "Ash, you just can't go tell me something like that, something I've wanted you to say for so long and just take it back a second later as if you never meant to say it in the first place.  You don't realise what that does to me, that it breaks my heart in two all over again."

He opened his mouth to speak, to explain to her but again she silenced him.

"You think you can just waltz back into my life say 'sorry Myst' and then suddenly after five years everything will be how it used to be, well I'm sorry Ash but you expected far too much of me.

"You can't just come out her smile and say that you love me then expect I'll run into your arms because there's a fifty/fifty chance I'll run as far as I can in the opposite direction, but then," she paused closing her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat and forcing back the tears.  "But then there's the same odds that I will run straight into your arms and if I did that I don't think I'd ever be able to let you go.  You don't realise how much all of that scares me, that just being near you I loose all control.

"I hate this," she continued quietly her voice becoming strained.  "I hate that all you have to do it look at me and my world crumbles away.  I hate that every time I see you I feel tears welling behind my eyes and the fact that half the time I don't even know why I'm crying.

"Do you know how it feels when the one person that ever made you cry is the only one that can make the tears go away?" she asked looking Ash directly in the eye and finally letting her tears fall down her face.  She didn't even realise she was crying until she felt the moist streaks that trailed from her eyes against her skin.

Ash stood there mustering all the self-control left in him not to reach out and dry the tears that were falling down her fragile face.  Not to reach out and comfort her like he always wished that he could.

"I hate knowing that to forgive means to forget, to start anew and that I don't want that.  I want our memories to last forever even if it means taking the good with the bad.

"I hate knowing that my life is in your hands at that no matter what I do I have no control over what happens from this point onwards.

"I'm more scared than I have ever been in my entire life, I don't know weather to laugh of to break down and cry," she said letting out a nervous laugh to prove her point.  "All you have to do is say three little words and I loose all control of every aspect of my life, every function of my body and ever ounce of common sense or sanity left in my being goes straight out the window."

_'A man who's trying to say three words_

_The words that make me scared'_

"I'm terrified Ash," she said quietly just above a whisper the fear eminent in her voice, "and I barely know why.  This whole situation scares me beyond comprehension and all I can do is stand here and wait."

_'A million love songs later_

_And here I am trying to tell you_

_That I care_

_A million love songs later_

_And here I am'_

"Shh, I understand," he said comfortingly stepping towards her but she backed away as he did dampening his hope.

"No you don't understand," she said sobbing lightly, "Because if you understood Ash you would have stopped trying."

"Is that honestly what you think Misty?" he asked her the look in her eyes answering her question.  "God I wanted to stop," he said in frustration.  "I wanted to stop needing you so bad that I felt that I couldn't' even breathe without you.  I wanted to be able to go a minute, let alone a second without seeing your smiling face flash before my eyes, but I couldn't, you see my heart just wouldn't let me and that's one thing that I'm thankful for.

"Misty, what if I said that I didn't want things to be the way they used to be?" he asked softly.  "What if I told you that I'm scared too?  That I'm absolutely petrified that you'll runaway from me and that I'll never see you again if you do.  That all the time I've known you the one thing I feared the most, more than anything else in my life was that one day I would look into you eyes, and I mean really look into your eyes and see nothing.  Nothing but the glare of light."

He took another step towards her and this time she didn't back away.  "I'm so afraid that I might regret this for the rest of my life," he told her his voice full of sincerity.  "But most of all I'm afraid that if I don't do this right now I'm going to loose you forever and that's a hell of a lot scarier than regret."

He took another step forward, reached out and took both her hands in his own.  He lifted her chin so he could look into her cerulean blue eyes.  He gently caressed her cheek and wiped away the tears she had cried comfortingly as he looked for the courage he needed to do what he was about to do, what he had longed to do for as long as he could remember.

_'Looking to the future now_

_This is what I see_

_A million chances pass me by_

_A million chances to hold you'_

"So I think I'll take my chances," he whispered huskily.

Though he had just announced to Misty all his fears and worries it wasn't really until that moment he realised just how scared he was.  His hand trembled as he pushed a stray strand of hair from her face; he slid his arm down her back sending shivers of pleasure up her spin until it rested lightly on her waist hoping she would stop him from falling away.  His other hand followed the curve of her jaw nestling itself under chin as he lifted her face to meet his.

It was strange, he had kissed Misty before – twice if you included the party – but he had never been as scared as he was now.  But then, now that he actually thought about it, he couldn't remember a time in his life when he had ever been this scared.

_'That's because you've never had so much to loose,'_ he told himself.  He knew it was true, this was the greatest risk imaginable, nothing would ever compare to this.  He'd know exactly that the moment he fell in love with her.  He'd know that falling in love was it's own risk and he'd asked himself countless times why it had to be her of all people, his best friend, Misty.

But the answer was always so clear, so obvious that he often wondered why he even bothered asking the question to begin with.  The answer was all around him, in the way she smiled, the sound of her angelic laugh, the sparkle in her eyes and the way the emerald and sapphire colours combined so easily to make such a perfect shade of green, the graceful movements of her body, the feeling of warmth as he held her in his arms and most of all the sound of his own name flowing gently off her lips.

All of those things answered his question so easily and clearly but none so much as that very moment as they stood alone just outside the courtyard.  

She looked up at him, her beautiful aquamarine eyes shining with hope and tears, her crimson hair resting lightly across her with a halo of flowers illuminated by the stars.  The moonlight captured the gentle features of her face only making her look more angelic and beautiful than he had ever imagined possible.

Ash brought her face closer to his, happy to find a lack of resistance.

The kiss had to be perfect; it had to convey all their feelings so complex the he struggled to find words to describe them all (Definition: Lazy authoress too lazy to describe them).  This kiss needed to tell her what he felt for her, everything he had kept inside for the last ten years.

Ash closed his eyes.

_'A million love songs later_

_And here I am trying to tell you _

_That I care'_

Butterflies erupted in his stomach trying to break free and making his stomach do flip-flops.  He could feel his heart pounding in his chest booming to a constant beat so loud he could hear it in his ears; he wondered how Misty didn't hear it among the silence surrounding them.  He felt everything disappear around him and all that was left was Misty and the full moon that hung so perfectly above them.

He inched closer.

_'A million love songs later_

_And here I am'_

The didn't realise how close they were, to the point where their bodies pressed against each other and their heart beats could be felt beating in synchronisation with one another's through the thin expanse of clothing stopping bare skin from meeting bare skin.  To the point where Ash's lips brushed, no pressed against hers closing in on that last breathe of space between them.

He could already taste her, a taste as sweet as strawberries and cream, as he felt a smile form on his lips feeling her kiss him back.  He felt so right, as if there was only one thing that he could always be certain of in life and this was it, this feeling of perfection, which made his heart accelerate excitedly.  Her image danced gracefully before his closed eyes and he knew that he had found true happiness.

His fingers lingered in her hair and he savoured the touch of her soft skin against his hand.  Now that he finally had her after all these years he didn't want to let her go, he didn't think he could.

Both sighed as they broke apart a mixture of utter content and regret that the kiss they had longed to share for so long had ended too soon.

Ash looked into the dazzling blue green pools of her eyes and from one look he finally he understood what that unreadable emotion in her eyes was and he knew that if he looked hard enough it would be in his own eyes too.  He knew that no words were needed, that the kiss had said all it was supposed to say; yet still he searched for the words feeling it needed to be voiced.

He needed to know that if he told her exactly how he felt she wouldn't run away.

"I love you Misty Kasumi Waterflower," he told her just holding her in his arms giving him the courage he needed to go on and not to take the words back.  "And I guess I always have and will.  I spent the five longest and most torturous years of my life without you just finding out how much I loved you, how much I needed you and I know now I could never live another day without you by my side."

Misty smiled and leaned forward lightly kissing his mouth.  This simple gesture stunned him but it didn't even prepare him for the surprise that came next.

"I love you too, Ashton Satoshi Ketchum," she whispered lightly.

Though that was something that filled his heart with joy beyond comparison it wasn't the best part, not even close.  The best part was that as he looked into her eyes he could see himself and every emotion he had ever felt for the girl of his dreams before him reflected into his own.

'A million love songs later 

_And here I_

_Here I am'_

~ The End . . . well not really ~

I hope you all liked the _'real'_ end.  Yup, only one more end to go now.  So sadly this is the second to last chapter and all that's left is my little epilogue and then it will all be over.

Oh god, I think I have something in my eye.

The song, by the way, is 'A Million Love Songs' by Take That.

Again I'm going to thank all that reviewed seeing as it's slowly becoming a tradition in these last few updates.

Hopeless Romantic

RuRsHeR

Pikagirl23 – I was kind of toying with the idea of writing like a side story for Will and Melissa (I forgot her name too, luckily I have all the old chapters saved where I could find them so I went and looked it up) but I'm kind of lazy so I get the feeling that won't be happening.  Actually, to be honest towards the end here I kind of started to forget they existed.  Let's just say that Melissa is making herself at home in the state penitentiary and that Will is currently re-learning how to tie his shoes after accidentally taking one of his own cocktail concoctions.

Dancergirl06

Stoko – Damn it I thought I only put two.

Black Mistress 

BLu ICee FyRe 

KuTiExAzNxAnGeL

Kit Kat

Ashla

Diana

Ash and Misty forever

Maniac Mosli

Ok now that's done it's time for my last two story samples.  For those of you who haven't read the other five just check out the last chapters of Valentines Verse: Lost Lyrics and Beyond the Shadows.

Anyway, I have seven Pokemon stories I'm currently working on and like I said in the other two I'd really like opinions on them so I know which one's to make my priority and which one you want me to publish first.  I'm going to be taking a break from publishing till September once Reason's is done to make sure what I produce is worthwhile and to try and cut back on those annoyingly long periods I always seem to have between updates.

The Law of Reality

How she hated herself right now.  She hated girls like that, who giggled at lame jokes and fluttered their eyelashes as if it was cute or something, they made her want to be sick and now she was one of them.  She couldn't believe she was letting herself sink this low and it was all Giselle's fault.  

It was Giselle's fault that she probably looked like a retard whose eyes were having muscle spasms and that she was being forced to do such a dreadful task.

"Glad to see you've finally come round to my way of thinking," he said standing up and wrapping an arm around her waist firmly.

She could have sworn for a second that she saw a look of pain flash into one of his friend's eyes as he did this but she tried to brush it off, tried to think about anything but that.

_'I hate it when he's like this,'_ she thought trying to control her self enough not to struggle out of his touch.  She felt dirty, as if all his sleaziness was reflected onto her from his touch, as if it were contagious.  _'Somebody save me,'_ she pleaded.

_'Like what?'_ her mind asked about her previous statement trying to provoke her so she would force herself out of his arms.  _'Smug?'_

God she wished she could be anywhere but here.  Or even better, he could be anywhere but here.

_'No,'_ she retorted.  _'Breathing.'_

She tried to force her mind to think of anything else, anything that would help her to feel not quite so dirty.  She felt as though she had suddenly been pulled into a bad Christina Auguilera video and she wanted out.

_'Say something,'_ her mind told her.

But she didn't want to say something, because that would mean that she had closed the deal, that though Giselle had lost this part of their stupid competition, it would mean that he had won and that was something far worse.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes preparing to do the unthinkable, to save her reputation and make sure that Giselle lost.

She opened her eyes and smiled sweetly looking past him and at anything else.  Her eyes just happened to catch his friends, the same one she had seen the pain in before but this time all she saw in them was disgust which made her feel dirtier than she already did, which was saying a lot.

She just had to push herself out of his arms, she couldn't stand it anymore, but she tried to make it look flirtatious or something.  It was a relief to be away from him.

She winked at him before saying whatever came to her mind.

"It's nice to see you too . . ."

Tainted Destiny

"From what I heard from her big mouth the chances of little Miss. Trampy showing up are about zero to nil," Ayumi replied haughtily turning her back on the two boys.

"Do you make a habit of being wrong Miss. Bitchy, or is it just a natural ability of yours you came across on a whim?" an unseen voice asked mimicking Ayumi's haughty tone.

Ash recognized it immediately and smiled to himself as he waited for her to appear from her hiding place.

"Oh, just look what the cat dragged in," Ayumi muttered spotting her long before anyone else.  She tried to look unimpressed by the Hong Kong native but the maroon, gold and white costume that hung around her elegantly sure made it hard.

"Nice to see you again too," Misty replied with a glare.  "You know, I'm not that heartless.  I'm not going to put all our fates in the hands of three bumbling fools and a soft toy."

"Oh why you little . . ." Pika growled.  "If you weren't Clow Reeds descendant I would kick your ass so bad that even your family wouldn't recognize you."

"How'd you know?" Ash asked him, as he didn't remember sharing that detail with his guardian.

"I'd recognize the ceremonial robes of my masters clan anywhere," Pika replied proudly.

Misty just rolled her eyes at them.  "What are you going to do to me stuffed animal?  Cuddle me to death?  I'd sure like to see that."

"Oh just wait till Ash collects all the cards and I'm out of my borrowed form, then you'll really see what I'm capable of little girl," Pika muttered more to himself than Misty.

"That'll be the day you sorry excuse for a digimon," Misty scorned at them.  "That moron couldn't catch a cold?"

With that Pika had just about had enough, he lunged at Misty and did the only thing he could.  He bit her, hard.

So what do you think?  Give me your opinions, idea's, whatever.  All will be greatly appreciated.


	34. Epilogue

Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon

Reasons of the Heart – 

Epilogue: This Is The Night/When The Heart Knows No Reason

_Dear Diary,_

_'When one door closes another one opens, but often we're so caught up looking at that closed door to see the others'.  Those few words were once said by some great American president and they never seemed to make that much sense until I experienced it for myself._

_Sometimes life gives you a second chance but you're too busy thinking about that chance you missed to see that it's been right there all along.  _

_But sometimes you have to make your own chances._

_It's like a good friend of mine once said, "some things are just too important to be left to chance.  Money for one and love for another."_

_Fear had always been an issue, it was always the reason I couldn't admit to her, or even myself how I really felt for.  Now it seems that there was nothing to fear all along, that a friendship like ours could only ever be strengthened and turned into something almost as beautiful as she._

_But once I had nothing left to loose, when I felt as though I had already lost her, it was then I was free from my fear, and free to announce my true feelings.  For it is when you lose everything that you can finally do anything your heart desires and she was always what my heart desired._

_It's been two years now and everything has been perfect._

_I don't think I'll ever really get used to waking up to find Misty next to me in the morning.  It's an amazing feeling, like I'm whole again and I never want to fall asleep ever again because my reality is so much better than any fantasy I could ever cook up in my head, well except for one but I'm working on that._

_Tonight I'm going to ask Misty to marry me.  _

_Most people have an opinion on it.  Some say that I took too long and I should have asked her a year ago, others say I should slow down and that I'm just rushing into things._

_I probably would have asked her sooner, but it took awhile for me to build the courage up and I'm still not quite there.  It seems Misty is the only thing that could ever scare me this much, not that I'm complaining._

_I knew from the moment I first laid eyes on her that I wanted to spend forever with this goddess, sure I wasn't even close to being brave enough to admit it then but I always knew deep down that if Misty ever left it would break my heart in two._

_And it did, even more so to know that I had driven her away all on my own.  I could literally feel my heart breaking as I watched her receding figure disappear into the forest that day._

_I need Misty like the air I breathe, maybe even more than that.  She was everything to me and it took losing her to realise just what that meant._

_But now I don't want to ever lose her again, I couldn't stand it especially now I know how much she means to me.  She's all I ever wanted, and everything I never even dared to dream for.  _

_She's that one perfect girl for me who makes everything else just disappear into oblivion.  She's the one person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with and the only one that could ever make me this happy.  _

_Life without her lost its appeal long before she left and now I feel as though I would just die without her by my side._

_So I'm going to try and be brave, just for a few minutes.  I'll hold my breath and cross my fingers and pray for the best._

_Wish me luck and hopefully it'll be enough._

_Ashton Satoshi Ketchum_

Ash ran his fingers through his once tidy hair for at least the fifth time since he'd combed it into place as he walked towards Misty's dorm.

He'd spent hours just trying to get everything perfect for tonight, he had even gone so far as to comb his unruly hair.  To him, Misty didn't deserve anything less than perfect, but he wasn't perfect so he tried his best to come as close to that as possible.

He knocked on the door quickly straightening his tux and hoping he looked at least decent.  He took the small velvet box out of his pocket checking that everything was in place for tonight's events.

"Hey," Melody said as she opened the door.  Her eyes were immediately drawn the small box in Ash's hands.  "Is that what I think it is?" Melody asked her eyes shining excitedly.

Ash sighed as he nodded his head and opened the box revealing the ring to her.  It was white gold with a rose cut sapphire surrounded by rubies and diamonds.  It was as perfect as everything else he had planned for tonight.

"Hey," Misty said as she appeared in the hallway.

Ash quickly closed the box and stuffed it in his pocket before she saw it.

"You look . . ." he started searching for the exact words to describe this earth angel before him.  "Amazing," he finished breathlessly.

Misty smiled furtively and cocked her head to the side her cheeks holding a slight blush.  She didn't think she'd ever be able to get used to Ash giving her compliments.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Ketchum," she replied smiling.

"Shall we go?" he asked politely taking his hopefully, future fiancée and wife's arm.

"Ash there's something . . ." she began.

He silenced her by brushing his lips against hers in a passionate kiss almost making Misty forget what she was about to say.

"Whatever it is, tell me when we get there," he told her after breaking the kiss.

Misty sighed.  _'Why don't men ever listen?'_ she asked herself as she held back for just a second for what she had tried to explain to her poor, over-eager boyfriend.  

If he wasn't going to listen, there was really no point trying to tell him anything.  Ash was determined and stubborn, qualities that she loved about him but they meant that once he got his mind set on something, nothing, not even she, could change it.  Well most of the time anyway, she had her ways to alter his perception you could say.

Ash carefully wrapped a silk scarf around her eyes muttering to him self as he checked all the things off on his list.

Misty smiled to herself as she put two and two together.  She let Ash lead her, trusting him with her life wondering where he was taking her.

Her ears perked as she listened to the sound of a violin and flute playing the same song that they had danced to two years ago before they confessed their love to each other.

Ash took off the blindfold and gently wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a slow waltz.

He softly sang along here and there the words he remembered from the song.  Misty rested her head against his shoulder and just let her self be content in his arms.

As the song ended the two broke apart.

Ash gently took both her hands in his own and lowered himself to one knee.

"Misty, I loved you the moment I met you and I never stopped," he told her.  "Every day I find myself falling more in love with you, finding new things to love about you.  For so long I tried not to fall in love with you, but the more I tried the harder I fell until I was so completely in love with you that I knew there was no way out of this.

"Misty, you've made me happier than I could ever imagine and there's only one thing that would make me happier," he told her his eyes never leaving hers as they welled with tears of happiness.  "Misty Kasumi Waterflower, will you marry me?"

He carefully reached into his pocket and searched for the ring.  

"What?" he said suddenly as he turned away so he could search his pockets for the small velvet box.  "Oh shit," he thought to himself thinking of the last time he saw it.  

"Are you looking for this?" she asked holding up a small black velvet box teasingly just out of his reach.

Ash's eyes immediately widened with surprise.

"This is what I was trying to tell you about," she told him as he handed it to him that teasing smile never leaving her innocent face.

He smiled nervously and took a deep breath before repeating his question.  "On the risk of being rejected twice," he told her, "will you marry me, Misty?"

"No," she began making Ash's face drop, "question has ever been easier to answer," she continued a smile forming on her face.  "The answer is undoubtedly and most certainly yes."

Ash's heart soared as he took her in his arms once again and kissed her passionately with all the love he felt inside for the girl of his dreams, reality and future.

He opened the box and carefully slipped the ring onto her finger.  This was the beginning of the life he had always dreamed of.

_"When the world wasn't upside down_

_I could take all the time I had_

_But I'm not going to wait_

_When a moment can vanish so fast_

_'Cos ever kiss is kiss you can never get back_

_Lift me up_

_In your eyes_

_If you told me that is what Heaven is_

_Well, you'd be right_

_I've been waiting forever for this_

_This is the night_

_When the answer to all my dreams_

_Is as close as a touch away_

_Why am I here,_

_Holding back what I'm trying to say?_

_Life me up_

_In your eyes_

_If you told me that is what Heaven is_

_Well, you'd be right_

_Hold me close_

_To your heart_

_I would go with you_

_To the ends of the earth and we'll fly_

_I've been waiting forever for this_

_This is the night_

_This is the night where we capture forever_

_And all our tomorrows begin_

_After tonight_

_We will never be lonely again_

_Lift me up_

_In your eyes_

_If you told me that is what Heaven is_

_Well, you'd be right_

_Hold me close_

_To your heart_

_I would go with you_

_To the ends of the earth and we'll fly_

_I've been waiting forever for this_

_This is the night_

_('This Is The Night' preformed by Clay Aiken)_

~20 year later~

"Are you shittin' us Mrs. K?" 

Misty Kasumi Ketchum put on a look of fake shock and gaped at the four 15-16 year olds.  "Now why would I lie to you?" she asked them coyly.

"Oh come on mom," Sakura said eying her mother suspiciously as she tossed her ebony hair, identical to her fathers messy black locks, over her shoulder dramatically.  "You lie to us all the time.  I still don't believe all those stories about you and dad saving the world.  I mean, once I could believe, but five times is pushing it."

"What if I got your dad to back me up?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Mom, from what we've heard of your stories, dad is positively petrified of you," Elizabeth replied quietly not nearly as dramatic as her younger, identical twin sister by twelve minutes and forty eight seconds that she wouldn't let anyone forget.

"What about Opal's dad?" Misty said desperately grabbing at straws.  "Brock can vouch for every story I've told you, except maybe that last one."

"Our dad's are scared of you too, Mrs. K," Grace teased.  "They're all too afraid to say otherwise."

Misty smiled at the name they'd often call her.  She still remembered when she and Brock used to give Ash's mother the same name.  Now Misty just called her mom, or Delilah as per Delilah's wishes of course.

"It's the dog gone truth," Misty replied drawing a cross above her heart.

"C'mon Mrs. K," Opal voiced looking very disbelieving.  "Do you honestly expect us to believe that someone wouldn't notice dropping their engagement ring?"

"Hey, if you think I'm cute now you should have seen me then," Misty laughed with the girls.  "But in all seriousness, Ash has the absolute worst memory of anyone I've ever met.  Where do you think Elizabeth got hers from?"

"Dad says he's absent minded because you used to hit him over the head with a mallet," Sakura began, the teasing tone eminent in her voice.  Sakura was the extrovert of the two, and probably the one most like their father.  She was always quite hyperactive, especially as a child and she was never without a smile on her face.  She would help anyone, Pokemon and people a like just because it was the right thing to do whether she knew them or not, a trait she most definitely got from Ash.  

"So what's Lizzard's excuse?" she continued using her sisters most hated nickname.

Elizabeth scowled, then expertly yet playfully jabbed her elbow into her sister's ribs.

They all laughed at the two's antics.

Elizabeth, as most twins are, was the complete opposite of Sakura.  I mean sure they were identical from their ebony hair to their bluegreen eyes and all the looks they had inherited from their mother so they were practically carbon copies of her, but the similarities were only skin deep.

Elizabeth was the quiet introvert.  She would rather sit down inside with a good book than live out her own adventures like her sister.  Even before they could speak their parents could tell the two apart simply by the way they acted.  Elizabeth was studious, quite and conservative where as Sakura was anything but.

"You know if you guys won't believe me I'll just have to get someone to back up my story," Misty said proudly checking her watch that her timing was right.

She promptly stood up and opened the door revealing her husband of nineteen years trying to figure out how he could open the door or ring the doorbell without having to put his bags down.

"Hello sweetie," she said sugarly sweet as she kissed his cheek.  

He looked at her suspiciously knowing her far too well not to know that she was up to something.  He had known her far too long and he knew that no matter how wonderful and caring his wife was, she was only ever this nice when she wanted something from him.

"Hey dad," Sakura said coming up to the door behind her mother.  "Do you want me to take a bag?" she asked her tone similar to Misty's.

Though Sakura was more like Ash, she also had Misty's little evil streak in her and the same mischievous glint shone in her bluegreen eyes, identical to her mothers reminding him just how much both girls were like their mother.

"I'll take one too," Elizabeth said not quite as much of a cause for suspicion as the other two.

Elizabeth and Sakura immediately reached for the exact same bag, the one they were almost positive held the presents in it, at the exact same time and scowled as they tried to pry it from the others arms.

Ash sighed.  "The present bag is still in my car, but seeing as you two offered you can take these two by the door while I get it," he smiled.

The two girls sighed as they did as they were told knowing their dad had won this round and no matter how many times Misty had whacked him on the head, he was still just as conniving as her.

Ash again eyed his wife suspiciously as she followed him back to the car with her eyes alone.  He knew she wasn't after presents, and finding out exactly what she was after was something he wasn't looking forward to.

"Come," Misty said innocently as she led him towards the lounge where they girls were waiting.  "I was telling them all a story and they won't believe me without evidence."

"Which one?" he asked immediately filling with dread.

"The one about how you proposed," she replied nonchalantly as they entered.

Everyone immediately noticed the fact that Ash's cheeks had turned a suspicious shade of red.

"Hey Mr. Ketchum," Grace said politely trying to break the silence.  "Did you enjoy your trip?"

"Yes," he replied hopefully, "so why don't I tell you about that instead?"

"Uh-uh," Misty replied waving a finger in front of his face.  "This is my story, and I need you to finish it."

"But why must all your stories involve me?" he whined.

"Because otherwise they're so boring," she replied with a peck on the lips for encouragement.  "All you have to do is prove I didn't lie."

Ash sighed.  "I dropped the ring box when I was trying to hide it in my pocket," he said hoping Misty didn't see his eyes light up as a plan formulated in his head.  "And I guess the rest is history, but if you want a really interesting story . . ." he smiled looking at Misty for a second.

". . . I can tell you the one about when Misty got really drunk at this karaoke bar and started sing ha . . ." he started before Misty clamped a hand over his mouth.

"If you dare say another word you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight," she said angrily.

"I think this might be worth it," he smiled innocently.

It still drove her crazy the way he would flash those innocent brown eyes at her and make her bend to his every whim.  That smile still had the same effect it had thirty something years ago, and she was really struggling to be angry at him right about now.

"And every night after that," she added trying not to look away and not to look at him at the exact same time.

"You win dear," he sighed as he gave her a peck on the cheek and another innocent smile.

Misty sighed with relief.

"So where's Ashton and Michael?" he asked wondering as to why there were only two sets of hands grabbing for his usual present bag rather than the customary four.

"Michael went to Duncan's and strangely enough wanted to take Ashton with him," she replied.  "Should I be worried?"

"Extremely, let's just hope he comes back exactly the way he left," he said.

"Well that said, you need to have a shower and get into some not so wrinkly and dirty clothes," she told her husband matter-of-factly.  "Sabrina and Melody will be over with everyone in about half an hour or so for that barbecue," she said pushing him towards the stairs with a quick kiss.

"Now do you believe me?" she asked as she re-entered the lounge of teenage girls she had almost completely forgotten about with the return of her husband.

"Sometimes I wonder how we get any attention at all with the way those two carry on like love struck teenagers," Elizabeth muttered under her breath to her sister.

"I just thank god for dad's business trips," Sakura giggled back.

"Of course we do," Grace said as a sly smile began to form on her face, one identical to her mothers.  Misty knew she was in trouble.  "But what I really want to know about is this karaoke thing he was on about," she smiled.

"Is it just me or did that sound suspiciously like Hanson?" Opal asked.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about," Misty replied trying to hide her embarrassment.

"But I know someone else who might," Grace giggled as the doorbell resounded through the house.  "You know mom, always early."

Misty became worried as she tried to remember who was there that fateful night.  The whole thing had been blurry as she had gotten to the alcohol a little too early thanks to a certain Pokemon Master who wasn't exactly supposed to be there.

Like times before – or was that after, she couldn't quite remember the order - she had got extremely drunk, extremely fast after asking the bartender for his strongest drink and supposedly ended up singing Hanson among other love songs all dedicated to Ash.  She was glad Ash had been sort of drunk at the time too as it was definitely not a night she wanted to remember even if she could.  

It was also a part that she had conveniently left out when she retold the story of how she and Ash finally got together many a time.

Misty opened the door revealing her long time best friend Melody Kitt, now Melody Angel and her husband obviously Parker Angel.  She presumed their son, Dylan, was probably with Zacharyinsert private joke here too, probably helping in torturing her seven year old.

"Hey mom, dad," Grace called greeting her parents.  "Mom, do you know the story of when Misty got really drunk?" she said getting straight to the point.

"Which one?" she asked.  "The Will Simmons version or the Karaoke version that she tends to forget."

"The Karaoke version, please," Opal replied.

"Well basically we were trying to cheer Misty up because she had been pretty much comatose since the date thing Ash that didn't go to well.  This was basically the reason why she started to go out in disguise," Melody began.  "So we take her to this nice little bar and who should we find there but Ash, also in a comatose state, and Parker trying to cheer him up.

"So Misty immediately heads straight to the bar, orders several drinks filled to the brim with vodka and downs them in a minute flat," she continues ignoring the fact that Misty looks about ready to rip her head off.  "So seeing as Misty here is quite susceptible to drunkedness, especially when she downs the equivalent of half a bottle of vodka in a minute flat, she's so drunk she climbs onto the stage and sings anything containing the word love in it."

"Wow, go mom," Sakura said sarcastically.  "Do you mind giving us a few visual and audio aids?"

Misty turned the infamous 'Waterflower glare' off her friend and to her youngest daughter who seemed to have perfected Ash's look of pure innocence.

Another sounding of the doorbell interrupted them and Misty left the room to answer it revealing Sabrina and Brock and the rest of their family as well as three other boys.

"Aunt Misty," a young girl of seven cried happily as she wrapped her arms around Misty's waist which she barely reached.

Misty smiled as she gently patted the little girls hair.  It seemed Brock and Sabrina's daughter Rosemary-Ayumi had picked up a couple of recessive genes in her parents forming the bright red hair that almost matched Misty's.

"Hey everyone," Ash said as he came back down stairs all fresh and cleanly pressed.

"Dad!" little Ashton called happily as he ran to his father glad to have him home again.

Ash wrapped his arms around his son and lifted him happily into the air.  It was something he missed while he was on his business trips.

He would spend lonely nights thinking of his family back home in Pallet, especially Misty.  

He hated not being able to roll over in his bed to meet her angelic face as she slept.  He hated not having his seven year old son crawl in between them after a bad dream in his mismatched Pikachu pyjama pants and psyduck pyjama shirt.  He hated not hearing his daughter's squeals of joy as they set in for another midnight gossip session that kept him up half the night.  He hated not hearing the constant thumps, or creaks and incoherent mumblings of Michael tossing and turning and talking in his sleep.

They were the most important thing to him and he was constantly forced away from them.

And now everyone was here.  Brock and Sabrina with their five children, Taylor, Opal, Zachary, Jordan and little Rosemary-Ayumi, who was only a few months older than Ashton.  Melody and Parker with their two children, Grace and Dylan with them.  And of course his own little family, which he didn't think could ever get more perfect than the way they were right now.

_Dear Diary,_

_They say holding on is what makes you strong, but sometimes, it's letting go._

_Not letting go of love, for what is left once you've thrown away what could easily be your one chance at happiness in life over a few meaningless words.  No, not love, anything but love; that would just be stupid.  It would be a waste of your heart so fragile and precious, yet stronger than you could ever know.  _

_It's letting go of the little, unimportant things that make love more complicated than it already is, letting go of the grudges you build up over the years, rebuilding the bridges that you burn.  Just letting go of the little things you can live without._

_It's not settling, its not giving in and letting someone else control you, it's just finally figuring out what matters in your life and making sure it comes first.  It's realising that love comes before anything else and putting these words into practice._

_It's knowing that love is one thing you can't live without and there's no reason why you would ever want to try.  I know that one for a fact._

_It's how my life turned out, how it is right now.  I pushed my stubborn mind aside if only for those few moments that changed my life forever and finally followed my heart into his arms._

_I took a chance on life, on love, on him and it paid off with two beautiful daughters and two loving sons not to mention my devoted husband who means more to me than life itself.  I have the life I always dreamed of and it's all down to him._

_You see, destiny has a funny way of working things out for the best in the end no matter how stupid the decision we make are.  Even ones as stupid as running away from the one you love just because he called you a runt._

_I understand what Sabrina meant that day about following my heart and not my head and it's the best advice I've ever been giving to date.  It means more now than it did before because of those years and I can finally put that meaning on paper._

_It's because the heart knows no reason yet the mind depends on it.  The heart knows no boundaries, yet the mind creates them.  The heart doesn't care about pride or past grievances, those are just a few of the minds insecurities.  The heart doesn't understand time or distance or death and finality, those are the minds rules to play by, the heart has it's own._

_Your heart answers best when you do not ask, and that alone is the reason of the heart._

_Signed_

_Misty Kasumi Waterflower-Ketchum (proud wife of Worlds Greatest Pokemon Master and Novelist Ashton Satoshi Ketchum)_

_In times of frustrations_

_The minds leads._

_What the mind teaches_

_The heart feels_

_In times of desperation,_

_The mind finds the means_

_What the mind gives,  
The heart receives_

_In times of prosperity,_

_The mind rules  
What the mind dictates,_

_The heart follows   
  
In times of loving,   
The mind asks   
What the mind questions,   
The heart answers   
When the mind resists,   
The heart insists   
It is this time,   
When the mind loses . . ._

_And the heart wins._

_-Anonymous-_

~The End~

I would like to once again thank you all for reading my story.  Sadly this is the end of 'Reasons of the Heart' and I think the poem above is quite a fitting note to end on.

Final Thankyou's

Steff – sorry I didn't mention you in the last chapter, I didn't realize I had another review until I went to check that it had uploaded.

Pikagurl23

Childsnake

KuTiexAnGeL

Kit Kat – Thanks, it's actually kind of cool because it helps to inspire me to work on my own fics.

Sally

Ash and Misty forever

Lilstarblossom 

Black Mistress

Maniac Mosli

MissDbzMegabots – I'm glad I helped introduce you to Pokemon fan fictions and I'm happy you liked it

Sailor Saba

Shadow Death Dark

Kami no Hikari

Dragonsbane

I really hope you enjoyed it and I really am going to miss each and every one of you.

Now as promised here are the summaries of all the fics I'm working on at the moment.  It would be great if you could tell me which ones you like the sound of the best so I can choose which ones to make my top priorities.  Slightly more indepth summaries are posted in my bio if you want to check but these are the official summaries I guess and a little extra information.

Title: _Dude Where's My Plot_

Summary: _Just one of those stories where as the plot thickens you begin to notice the extreme lack of one.  Our trio are dropped off in the real world inducing a show filled with special guests from your(my) favourite TV Shows, Movies, and Animes and all the questions you weren't brave enough to ask._

Inspiration: _All LOTR cracks inspired by my friends.  The rest of the story I'm way too afraid to ask where the hell that came from._

Genres: _Romance – Humour - Supernatural_

Main Genre(s): _Humour/Romance_

Rating: _PG-13 for now, may have to go up to R for violence and explitic language and drunken hobbits.  You know, the usual sort of thing._

Chapters Written: _3 and a bit_

Writing Since: _About September last year, I think._

Main Characters: _Ash, Misty, Virgo Writer (me), Jesse, James, Tracey, Jerry Springer, LOTR cast and crew, CCS cast and anyone I care to add as the story continues.  I'm also thinking of having a Phillip Van Dyke cameo and I have this strange urge to hook Brock up with Mei Lin(CCS)._

Pros: _Some really funny parts, I have a really cute outfit in it._

Cons: _A lot of the jokes in this story will only be understood by me and a few of my friends.  It will probably end up confusing anyone else and probably wouldn't be all that funny._

Title: _I'll Take the Tears_

Authours: _Virgo Writer (me) and Xx Kusanagi xX (Mike)_

Summary: _Two friends torn apart by a meaningless fight in what seems like a lifetime ago.  Two teenagers caught up in the midst of it all finding hope, friendship and something their parents always dreamed of; love because in the end that's all that matters.  AAMR co-authoured by Xx Kusanagi xX_

Inspiration: _Started off as the idea of Ash and Misty living a life almost identical to their parents but evolved from that.  I can't really say much about it because that would ruin the story._

Genres: _Romance – Action/Adventure – Angst - Tragedy_

Main Genre(s): _Romantic Tragedy turned Action/Adventure/Romance till finally settling on Romance/Action/Adventure_

Rating: _PG for minor language as far as I can tell, be warned Mike has a very wicked tongue._

Chapters Written: _At least four, I think.  I'll have to check with Mike on that one._

Writing Since: _September-ish_

Main Characters: _Ash, Misty_

Pros: _A lot of unexpected twists and a bit away from my usual writing._

Cons: _Mike is a lazy sod.  No just kidding.  The real con is that he wants to kill Stephen and despite our best efforts we both seem to be suffering writers block concerning this story._

Title: _On Angels Wings_

Summary: _"I know angels are overrated, but that's what I am, an angel.  And this is my story . . ." Kasumi is a guardian angel who is sent down to earth as a mere mortal to protect the chosen one and find the life (and love) she was never allowed to live._

Inspiration: _A CCS fic I read once that ended really weird and a few bags of candy floss.  Note to self – lay off the candy floss for awhile._

Genres: _Romance – Action/Adventure – Supernatural - Spiritual_

Main Genre(s): _Romance/Supernatural_

Rating: _Between G and PG.  It probably won't need to go higher because there will be very little swearing seeing as angels are all godly and stuff and aren't suppose to swear.  Yeah right, this is Misty we're talking about, since when did she listen to anyone?_

Chapters Written: _6 and 2 halfs.  I know that sounds odd but I've written 6 whole chapters and half of each of the two chapters that come after it._

Writing Since: _Remember the six week break I had around this time last year?  Well let's just say I've been writing it since before then so that makes it a little over a year ago that I started writing it._

Main Characters: _Misty/Kasumi, Ash, Pikachu, Emilie, Brock, maybe Tracey later but I might just stick with Brock because I like him better._

Pros: _I have written the most kick ass cliffhanger for this, I mean it is even better than some of my Reason's cliffhangers.  I swear it will just make you all sit there pulling your hair out as you scream obscurities at the screen.  It was actually what I started with because it was an idea I had of how that particular story should have ended._

Cons: _It takes awhile to get into the story, I mean the fact that Ash doesn't even appear until the fifth chapter pretty much defines that point._

Title: _Sweet Home Pallet_

Summary: _When she was 5 Misty made a promise to a boy long since forgotten.  When she was 15 she made a promise to herself she failed to keep.  Now at 25 she is about to promise her heart to someone else but first she has to tie up some loose ends in Sweet Home Pallet. AAMR_

Inspiration: _Where else but my absolute favourite movie Sweet Home Alabama and that wonderful quote 'Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten years old, now where's the fun in that?'_

Genres: _Romance – Drama – Parody – Angst (but only a little bit)_

Main Genre(s): _Romance/Parody_

Rating: _PG-13 but only because I love that rating so damn much._

Chapters Written: _3 and a bit._

Writing Since: _March this year_

Main Characters: _Misty/Kasumi/Sumi, Ash/Toshi, Shane Filan_

Pros: _I love this one so much because I get to write a story about my favourite movie.  And it's so fun to write because I get to insert myself in there as about ten different characters, all of which are fashion designers.  Oh and I get to have Shane in it who is my absolute favourite member of Westlife, god I love this fic!_

Cons: _Well if you don't like Sweet Home Alabama (and who doesn't) then you probably won't like this.  There are also a lot of original characters in it because I had to make up an entire city, make that region, for Misty to escape to._

Title: _Karate, Kung Fu and Forty-Seven Other Dangerous Words (or the far less imaginative and original title 'Spy Games')_

Summary: _Spy Ashton Satoshi Ketchum has known only one thing most of his life; how to be a spy but now even that lies in jeopardy because he's broken one of the most important rules of all and it's all her fault._

Inspiration: _I wrote this so long ago that I don't actually even remember what inspired me to write this.  _

Genres: _Romance – Drama – Mystery – Horror – Action/Adventure - Suspense_

Main Genre(s): _Romance/Suspense_

Rating: _PG-13 _

Chapters Written: _1 and a half_

Writing Since: _Late (or early I can't remember) 2001, sometime before the original Valentines Verse if that's anything to go by._

Main Characters: _Ash, Misty, Brock, Team Rocket Organisation, Professor Oak, Pikachu, Gary_

Pros: _I love the title and it's got a really interesting beginning._

Cons: _I know this looks really bad that this is the fic I've been writing for the longest amount of time but I'm going through writers block and that first chapter is long enough to be split into at least two._

Title: _The Law of Reality_

Summary: _Acceptance, it's all anyone wants in high school and Misty will do anything to get it; maybe even go against her heart.  Or maybe love is the only thing more important than acceptance and maybe she just needs a little help from Ash to realize that.  AAMR._

Inspiration: _I always wanted to do a high school type Pokemon fic and the idea of this was inspired slightly by a few of my favourite Romantic Teen movies and books._

Genres: _Romance – Angst – Teen Drama_

Main Genre(s): _Romance/General but only because Fanfiction doesn't have Teen Drama down as a genre._

Rating: _PG-13 like I said it's my favourite rating to use._

Chapters Written: _Just 2 but they're both pretty long._

Writing Since: _Early this year_

Main Characters: _Ash, Misty, Melody, Brock, Giselle, Gary_

Pros: _A major unexpected twist at the end.  The story starts at a point and then goes back about two weeks before it to explain how it came about and it's not where or who you thought it would be._

Cons: _I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to get back to where I started._

Title: _Tainted Destiny but I'm trying to come up with a better title, this might be a good time for you guys to offer some idea's.  Also it turns out that Tainted Destiny isn't actually the title of this anyway but I'm going to have to stick with it for now because the real title is even worse.  If you really want to help I'd appreciate it a lot._

Summary: _Ash is a CardCaptor who despite Misty's best efforts and for reason's unknown to her would rather be Gary's rival.  Sakura is a Pokemon trainer who just can't seem to rid herself of the cute, yet pesky, Syaoran Li.  AAMRN, S+S_

Inspiration: _I sort of just came up with the summary in the middle of the night and that inspired me to write it.  I mean I get to combine my two favourite anime's into one fic, I wonder if I can sneak digimon in there somewhere._

Genres: _Romance – Drama – Action/Adventure – Parody – Supernatural – Suspense – Mystery – Angst – Sci-fi – God is there anything this fic doesn't have?_

Main Genre(s): _Romanc/General_

Rating: _No prizes for guessing the rating here.  Yup, PG-13_

Chapters Written: _1, ¾ and a ½ but I'm working on that half as we speak._

Writing Since: _April_

Main Characters: _Ash, Misty, Pikachu, Gary, Ayumi/Melody, Brock, Jesse, James, Cassidy and eventually Sabrina.  Sakura, Syaoran, Kero, Tomoyo, Eriol, Kahu, Touya, Nakuru, Spinel and a very stupid electric Pokemon (perhaps a Pikachu depending on my mood)._

Pros: _Like I said before I get to combine my two favourite anime's in a wonderful romance story.  Plus I keep getting these really funny mental images of Syaoran in Misty's shoes, literally.  I mean it's so funny thinking about Syaoran in Misty's yellow tank top, suspenders and little denim shorts.  Then I think about him running around in them next to Sakura screaming about bugs and carrots and things like that and practically fall off my chair.  You know for someone who's supposed to be a tom-boy it really is difficult to adapt her character into a boy._

Cons: _I keep confusing myself with the character swap and I had to split Tomoyo's character in CCS into two characters just so Brock wouldn't have to be gay._

So like I said several times before tell me what you think of this story, of my future stories and anything else that happens to tickle your fancy.  Sadly, it may take awhile because I've just realized that including these seven I'm currently working on about twenty different fics right and only one of them is currently being published on Fanfiction.

Thanks again to everyone who has read this and all my other fics.  

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